Tommy Tuberville: Can you really hate him?

The simple answer is "well, of course... he's a dick."


Ah, yes, the Pine Box. Certainly, Tubs hasn't garnered much of a reputation of "honesty" or "humility" and he left Oxford in an epically heartbreaking fashion. But, all things considered, could you really blame him for leaving?

Let's look at the situation. In 1997, Tommy Tuberville had taken the Rebels to an 8-4 season capped with a Motor City Bowl victory over a Marshall team featuring Chad Pennington and Randy Moss. He recruited two Parade All-Americans (Romaro Miller and Terrence Metcalfe) away from the clutches of the Alabama Crimson Tide in the same recruiting class. He did an excellent job of steering Ole Miss away from the negative "Old South" imagery which was hurting our recruiting and national perception. Most notably, Ole Miss was on probation for the first two full seasons of his Rebel coaching career. Most coaches in America could not have done something like that.

So, what did we do? We squandered away a golden opportunity to keep one of America's great (then) young coaches in Oxford.

There are always myths, legends, and otherwise generally tall tales surrounding any SEC coaching change, but one of these that has generally been confirmed as fact is that Tommy Tuberville wanted serious facility upgrades from the athletic department. This included, among many other things, an indoor practice facility. During the mid-90’s, our facilities could best be described as “abysmal” by SEC standards and Tubs knew that his already superior recruiting would receive a major boost if this changed. He pleaded with the administration but they wouldn’t pony up. He made mockeries out of the facility issues at Ole Miss but, alas, no dice. After receiving the runaround from an athletic department with a bizarre phobia to shelling out cash to folks who have earned it, Tommy jumped ship for Auburn. The Tigers of the Plains basically promised Tommy to give him everything that Ole Miss wouldn’t. After ten seasons at Auburn, Tommy has brought that program out of “just-above-mediocre-with-occasional-wins-against-Alabama” and into “nationally-recognized-as-an-SEC-power.”

I’m not trying to suggest that we would be in a similarly great situation had Tommy stayed, but we would certainly not have had experienced the misery of the Orgeron years.

Sure, be bitter. He lied to the media and fans in a startlingly disrespectful manner and, for that, a bit of a grudge is warranted. However, when you really ask yourself "why did Tommy leave us," you'll begin to redirect your bitterness elsewhere.

Buuuuuuuuut, just to keep true to Auburn Hate Week, the official stance of the Red [REDACTED] Cup on Tommy Tuberville is "fuck 'm." Tommy, I can't help but respect you as a coach. But, deep down inside, you're still a son-of-a-bitch. We're going to ruin you tomorrow.

Auburn Preview

Wow. It's amazing what a year can do. Last year, we had no chance at beating Auburn. This year, we're the favorite, and I don't think that's just people being foolish. Auburn's season has been just plain awful. Until doing a little bit of research for this post, I had kind of assumed they were a good team who hadn't performed all that well in some clutch situations. Turns out I was very wrong.

Auburn started the season by beating the hell out of Louisiana-Monroe like any good SEC program should (save a Nick Saban coached Alabama team). In that game, the offense wasn't as explosive as the score might indicate. Auburn's heralded spread eagle offense amassed eighty-five passing yards. Eighty-five. That's right. Against the mighty ULM Eagles (I think that's their mascot), Auburn threw the ball twenty-seven times. On those twenty-seven attempts, Chris Todd and Kodi Burns racked up eighty-five yards combined. That game was really all about special teams and defense.

Auburn's next game was against Southern Miss. I actually got to see that game on television. It appeared to be a game in which Auburn just beat USM on athleticism. USM appeared to be a strong team, and it worried me. Now, we see how USM's season has turned out so far this season. I bet Damion Fletcher is pissed.

The game between Auburn and Mississippi State was the first time all season that we really realized just how bad Auburn's offense is. It was the lowest possible score for a non-shutout. 3-2. Auburn's offense scored all five points. Remember, this is Mississippi State. The same Mississippi State that lost to Louisiana Tech two weeks earlier.

Then there was the game that tricked people into thinking that maybe Auburn wasn't as bad as they had thought. The truth is that Auburn just showed up for the LSU game (against an extremely overrated LSU team) ready to play up to their competition. Much like the Ed Orgeron led rebels of years past, ther was that one game this season when Auburn decided to keep it really close against a "good" team. Still, the tigers of Auburn lost.

Next, Auburn took on a Tennessee team that hadn't exactly been discovered to have been so bad. Auburn won 14-13 mostly because Crompton handed the ball to his own end zone, allowing Auburn to score a defensive touchdown. UT sucks.

Next, Auburn lost to Vanderbilt by one point. Remember how the rebels lost to Vanderbilt? After giving up seven turnovers, we lost by four. Well, Auburn only turned the ball over once and still managed to lose.

The Arkansas Razorbacks, who needed an onside kick to beat Southeast Louisiana and lose to Ole Miss, beat Auburn, holding the razorbacks to 193 yards. Yikes Auburn. Find an offense.

Last week, we got to see Auburn take West Virginia into the locker room with a lead only to lose the game by 17. That game has been described by many as a "breaking point" for the defense. The defense has just given up now. Hopefully that will caryy over into our game against them.

I expect Jevan to have a great day and lead the rebels to a solid victory over a bad team. Even our defensive backs may be able to stop Auburn's wide receivers. Hell. Louisiana-Monroe could do it.

Prediction: Rebels by 13

No More Elvis?

Starting Saturday, the administration is doing away with playing Elvis on the PoweTron.

While nothing close to a longstanding Ole Miss tradition, having Elvis Presley sing "American Trilogy" on our big-ass HD screen after home games is, at least conceptually, pretty damn cool. Think about it, one of Mississippi's native children singing the song which inspired one of the greatest marching band songs in the Southeastern Conference on a screen which is using enough electricity to power 2.5 Congos (or at least 1 Burkina Fasao).

It doesn't matter who you are; that's pretty damn cool.

You know what else is pretty damn cool? Elvis.

You know what isn't? Chanting "The South Will Rise Again."

Now, we at le Cup have a trustworthy source telling us that the main reason for the doing away of the King has mostly to do with whoever's in charge of these kinds of things not asking for permission from the Presley estate (seriously, how absolutely stupid can you be?). Of course, history indicates that we've got a dumb enough administration for that to be true, but you know (and our source confirms) that the "traditional" chanting of TSWRA after "From Dixie With Love" had at least something to do with this change.

This bugs the shit out of me.

While I feel our administration's efforts to better the university's image have largely been successful and forward thinking, this one is just stupid. Of course, if license issues are involved then there isn't really anything we or anyone else can say. Our administration didn't ask for permission to play a video of Elvis Presley on our jumbotron and somehow thought that wasn't going to be an issue.

Dumb, dumb, dumb... but forgivable.

But, if they feel that folks are crying "racism" because of an Elvis song, they're way off base. And, another thing, if they think that this song was encouraging the chanting of TSWRA they were also incredibly mistaken.

Personally, I never heard it said during the Elvis video, but I'm not about to deny it's existence. It likely happened and it was certainly as disgusting as always. However, Elvis may just be the key we need to get this scourge of a "tradition" removed from Vaught-Hemingway altogether.

Here, let me try to get the message across:

---

Chanters of "The South Will Rise Again,"

What in the fuck are you doing? Look, I know you think Ole Miss is all "old timey" and "Southern" and shit but let's get one thing straight: TSWRA isn't cool. I know you and your buddies from suburban Dallas/Atlanta/St. Louis love pack up your F250's with cans of dip, drive down to Oxford, start saying y'all, and pretending like you enjoy cole slaw.

It's cute. It's endearing.

It shows us real folks from the Magnolia State that you find Mississippi to be a pretty damned cool place. Folks like me who grew up here, however, don't go around wearing stripmall linens while listening to Lynard Skynard and hating black people. And we certainly do not chant "The South Will Rise Again" (or at least those of us who are really worth a damn).

We don't chant TSWRA because, as Mississippians, we've learned that our shit has already risen.

"What?!?! That's preposterous! I'm from suburban Atlanta, God dammit and we have URBAN OUTFITTERS! You haven't risen."

Bullshit we haven't. Mississippi (and the South) did rise again when Elvis Aaron Presley took the motherfucking world by storm.

You think TSWRA is cool? You think you're cool? Naw, motherfucker. Elvis was cool. No matter how many Ole Miss blogs I run; no matter how many unsolicited high-fives I get; no matter how many Airships shows I go to, I will never, not in a billion years, be half as cool as Elvis fucking Presley. You, as well, need to come to terms with your plight.

Elvis was a young man from Tupelo, Mississippi who started his recording career in Memphis, Tennessee. He was a man who loved his God, family, and country before fame and money. He was a man who could sing and dance the panties off of any woman on Earth.

And guess what. He sang "His truth is marching on" at the end of American Trilogy.

You know why? Because those are the actual fucking lyrics, you douche. Stop making my state and school look bad.

If Elvis were still alive, he'd kick your ass, burn your F250, and sit on your limp body while he ate a catfish dinner. Then, he'd write you a check for the medical bills and the truck (because he fucking can) before leaving it in your back pocket.

Elvis starts trends. You don't. End of story.

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Ole Miss administration, listen up. Having Elvis on the PoweTron is a great idea, especially after a win. I, along with many others, found it quite fitting after the Memphis victory. Get the rights to play it and let these asshats see , in the presence of their King, that they are the lowliest of peons.

Roster Breakdown

I'll cut out the cutesy intro and just jump straight into talking about this year's expected contributors.

Chris Warren
We all know what Chris Warren is capable of accomplishing, but I have heard people talking about how they think Warren is going to have a down year this season, due to his breakout season last year. As great as Chris was last season, there are still plenty of areas where he can improve and make himself that much more valuable to the Rebels.

Warren’s two biggest areas of improvement are defense and decision making ability. Last year, Chris was able to come away with some clutch steals, but he was often times barred from guarding the other team’s point guard due to his inability to keep them out of the paint. Reports are that Warren has improved on this area of his game and has added
more strength.

The other area I think Warren can greatly improve in is his decision making process. Too many times Warren forced the issue and tried to drive against two post players and throw up an ill-advised lay up, or take a wild three pointer when Ole Miss had numbers on a fast break. I hate complaining about Warren, but the kid could be much better and I feel confident that he will improve. An encouraging sign of this is Kennedy's claims that the biggest improvements in his system happens between a player’s first and second years in the program, just look at Eniel Polynice.

Will Bogan
I do not know much about Bogan. He is from Idaho, he is going to be the backup to Warren, and there is plenty of YouTube on the guy. This one, due to song choice, is my favorite. He looks solid in the video, can be argued that he telegraphs his shot too much, but he looks serviceable despite playing against Idahoans in his videos.

Kennedy discovered Will while he was he scouting another point guard. Bogan was matched up against this other point guard and apparently did well enough to impress AK and the rest of the staff enough who extend a scholarship.

Trevor Gaskins
I am lumping Gaskins in with the pointguards, but he is really a severely undersized shooting guard. Last year, Gaskins was one of the streakiest shooters on the team as he had the capability to drain seven three-pointers in one game, and then perform so poorly in the next game that he doesn’t see more than 5 minutes of action.

Gaskins is very turn over prone, whether it is an ill-advides three or one of his patented awful inbounds passes. One thing positive to say about Trevor is that he is not afraid to take a big shot, this can also be a fault. Expect this to be Gaskins last year with the Rebels as we try to make room for Reggie Buckner and Trenton Marshall.

David Huertas
Dahveed has a well-documented path to Ole Miss and start to his first year with the Rebels on the court. After his shaky start (putting it kindly) Huertas was arguably the best player on the floor towards the end of the season. If Huertas can carry over his performances from the latter half of 2007-2008 then the Rebels’ backcourt could be tops in the SEC. Another area to mention about Huertas is his aggressive defense and hustle. While overshadowed by Polynice on the defensive side of the ball last year, Huertas still showed he was not just a spot up shooter for the Rebels.

Eniel Polynice
No other player on the rosters scared me more than EP. I have never seen a more out of control, yet in control, player with the ball in his hands. It is uncanny. He is a phenomenal defender, always was relegated to guarding the opposing teams best player. EP still has glaring weaknesses, like free throw shooting. I am not going to waste time looking it up but I am willing to bet that he was right at, if not below 50% from the charity stripe.
Speaking of EP’s free throw shooting, Andy Kennedy had an amusing quote when he spoke at the Sigma Nu house a few weeks ago. Kennedy was talking about how he finds you can improve a player by 20% in a given area if you strenusouly focus on it. So, why should he focus on EP’s terrible free throw shooting since he can make him just an awful free throw shooter, when he can focus on perimeter defense and penetration, areas he has shown promise in and can use to define his game.

Zach Graham
Graham was arguably the most athletic player on the team last season and had great games against UCF and Nebraska in the NIT last year. He definitely suffered through some growing pains, but showed plenty of promise. He has the potential to be as good of a slasher as Polynice, but he is also developing a consistent outside shot. Unfortunately, he plays the deepest position on roster and could get lost in the shuffle.

Terrico White
White is one of the players who could bury Graham on the bench. White has terrific upside and probably the best NBA prospect on the roster, yes more so than Malcolm and Henry. White was the top player in the state of Tennessee last year and has all the tools to emerge as a premiere SEC player during his time at Ole Miss.

Murphy Holloway
Holloway is another one of Kennedy’s prized recruits. Holloway is from South Carolina and was regarded by many as being the top player in the Palmetto State. I really cannot speak much on his game because there is no video, but the coaches feel confident in his ability and he was voted as one of the top impact freshmen in the SEC.

Terrance Henry
Yet another key freshman on this year’s roster. Henry is a keynote recruit due to the lack of depth in the frontcourt because of the departure of Kenny Williams, Dwayne Curtis and Jeremy Parnell. Henry needs to be prepared to play early and often because of the departure of those three seniors. Henry is being called the biggest recruit in Ole Miss history since Justin Reed and may have a similar style game. Henry is rail thin, but has shown that he can play down on the blocks and stretch the floor. He will provide Kennedy with plenty of athleticism at the 4 and allow him to spread the floor even more to create more lanes for players like Polynice and Warren.

Malcolm White
Malcolm is the only returning big man with NCAA experience. White exhibited flashes of greatness last season, but was largely inconsistent. I expect White to be more effective this season with an even faster paced offense and the fact that he is going to be the go to guy down low for Kennedy and company.

Kevin Cantinol
Kennedy claims Cantinol is going to be a pleasant surprise to many Rebel fans. I am not so sure. I have no room to disagree with Kennedy, but this guy looked clueless last season in warm-ups and just sitting on the bench. I will withhold judgment on KC and trust Kennedy.
Deaundre Cranston
I am not sure what to think of Cranston either. He received some good recognition for his contributions in JUCO, but his stats were nothing to get excited over. Cranston is supposedly another big man who will be able to stretch the floor for Kennedy and play facing the basket. I guess we will have to see how he does on Friday before we judge him as well.

Rebel Roundup

David Banner would take Three Six individually or as a group. I've got a standing argument among my friends concerning which Ole Miss-alum-dominated city gets to hang the glock-shaped "Most Ghetto" award on its wall. Take that, Memphis.

Betta not bring yo kids! Another great argument is whether Bobby Petrino's two-timing ways are the biggest joke of the SEC or Sylvester Croom's tough, mindset-changing discipline is the most hilarious hypocrisy. Put Sly back in the lead as he continues his strong and unchangeable custom of integrity - dismissing players who have absolutely no chance to see the field. Make that statement, you principled sea-mammal.

Maybe David Brandt should write for the Cup. Brandt finally showed us a glimpse of his inner hate today: "Three days after Ole Miss cornerback Marshay Green was roasted, toasted and pretty much embarrassed by the Arkansas receivers, the junior was back on the practice field, doing jump ball drills with the secondary after the rest of the Rebels had already gone inside." I hate you; I hate you; I hate you. I don't even know you, and I hate your guts!

Traffic Bump! Check it out Spirit posters - as long as the Rebs win on Saturday, we will be guaranteed to still be mathematically in the SEC West race until, at least, November 8. Unlikely? Aren't all the best things in life. Alabama, Ole Miss, and LSU, could still, concievably, end up in a 5-3 tie for first place in the SEC. The next tie-breaker would be division record. Ole Miss and LSU would have the 4-1 edge over 'Bama's 2-3; Ole Miss would have the head-to-head over LSU. Impossible? Alabama hasn't won a game in November since 2005.
Just mix it up and let me smell it. I swear, man, I totally won't drink any.

Auburn Blogger Q&A

We did this week's blog Q&A with WarBlogEagle. They should have their Q&A up soon. It's not their fault it's behind ours. I literally hit send 2 minutes ago. Anyway, here are our questions and their answers.

1. So we've all seen the problems with the tiger offense, or spread eagle. We see that it is ineffective. Still, do you think it's possible that the team could just be learning the offense still? Do you hope to see a totally new offense next season or just some tweaks to this one?

Well, the Spread Eagle as envisioned and half-assedly installed by Tony Franklin is dead. The insistence on shotgun snaps, the four receivers on the field at all times, the hypothetical (and never put into practice) snaps early in the play clock ... that's all been scrapped. Against West Virginia, Auburn lined up primarily in the I or an ace set and only switched to spread formations on passing downs. So to the extent that Auburn is "still learning" the new offense as practiced by Franklin, nope, that's done. Are they still re-learning the "new" offense that Auburn ran under former OC Al Borges and is currently under the direction of former tight ends coach Steve Ensminger? Yes, and it should be a little more fine-tuned than what we saw in the WVU game. But given that the team didn't begin practicing with the Borges sets until four or five weeks into this season and that Auburn's just not the most talented team offensively, the ceiling for this offense is so low I'd suggest the Rebels be careful they don't bump their heads. (ZING!) Auburn's currently 109th in the country in total offense and if they crack double-digits by the end of the season I'll be stunned.

As for next season, I wrote a post this week that touches on the issue in more detail, but I fully believe that the past two seasons have been such a disaster offensively it's time to nuke everything and start over from as blank a slate as Tubby can engineer. My preference is that Auburn live up to the spread-centric promises it made on the recruiting trail and hire a spread guy with some balance in his resume, a la someone like Missouri's Dave Christensen, but those guys don't grow on trees. We'll see.


2. Talk a little bit about your stable of running backs. It seems like we've seen glimpses from each of them, but none of them can really put it together for a streak of good games. What gives?

Auburn supporters are so used to having great running backs the fanbase has barely noticed that, frankly, the 2008 corps haven't come close to matching the tailback standard set throughout the bulk of Tubby's tenure. It's not all their fault, of course: between Franklin's RB-unfriendly system, the mass confusion on the offensive line, and the lack of any kind of downfield passing game to open up the box a bit, Auburn could have Cadillac Williams and Ronnie Brown back there again and it wouldn't matter too much. But unfortunately the Auburn backs haven't made the best of this bad situation, either. Senior slasher Brad Lester--almost certainly the most talented tailback Auburn has and its most experienced by a mile--has been hobbled by injuries all season and just can't seem to build on the sparks he's still managed to flash here and there. Junior power back Ben Tate's gotten the majority of Auburn's carries this season, but he's just not quick enough for the outside-centric runs out of the spread and he's lost too many yards this year reversing field in the search for holes that aren't there. He's a much better fit for the Borges sets, but now he, too, is nursing a hamstring injury that against WVU seemed to rob him of what little explosiveness he had. Sophomore Mario Fannin's probably Auburn's best remaining option, but he started the year at WR when the coaches wanted to protect a shoulder injury from the spring and he still doesn't seem to have all of his vision and confidence back when lined up in the backfield. Still, he's got a nice balance of quickness and power and I wish he'd take over the carries currently going to Tate. There's also speed merchant Tristan Davis, who they've ironically got playing fullback (and doing it surprisingly well vs. WVU), and true freshman bulldog Eric Smith, both of which have some potential but are unlikely to receive more than token carry or two.

It's not a bad group even with the injuries, but on this offense they needed to be a lot better than "not bad" and it just hasn't happened for them.

3. Who is the best defensive player on your team that no one is talking about? Why is he so good?

Well, some people are talking about defensive end Antonio Coleman, but probably not as many as should be when you realize he leads the SEC in both sacks (6) and tackles-for-loss (10.5). It's especially impressive when you realize Auburn's getting very, very little out of the DE position on the opposite side of the field (where sophomore Michael Goggans has been banged up and the other member of the rotation is converted tight end Gabe McKenzie) and that Coleman's also been battling through some minor injuries. He's pretty much the complete DE package: fast, strong, heady, and a very sure tackler. He'll play on Sundays.


4. Tubberville... gone after this season?

With principals in this little drama as inscrutable as Tuberville, Bobby Lowder, and AD Jay Jacobs, you have to take any and all guesses about what's going to play out with a grain of salt. But I think Tubby hangs on for a make-or-break 2009 season. It's certainly within the realm of possibility he gets canned and there's no question a loss to Alabama to cap off a 5-7 season--the far-and-away most likely final outcome for Auburn's year--would turn the heat up to stifling levels. In that situation, I'd put the odds on his return as probably no better than 60-40. But I don't think it'll happen for two reasons: 1. He's earned enough goodwill on the Plains that the majority of Auburn fans will be willing to give him a one-season mulligan 2. he's got a sizable buyout that in the current economic climate won't be easy even for the likes of Lowder to cobble together.

5. What is your prediction for the game?

Not one Auburn fans will be happy to read. It's the third verse, same as the first two, as against Arkansas and West Virginia: Auburn's facing a talented and well-coached offense that's going to move the ball no matter how well the rattled-and-battle-scarred defense plays, and if those Arky and WVU games are any indication, it's not going to play particularly well regardless. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ball, Auburn's offense is taking baby steps forward but they're still nowhere near ready to put up more than a handful of points without a lot of help from the D and the special teams. Against both Arkansas and WVU they got tons of that help and it still wasn't enough. Auburn's 4-4, but those four wins have come against two hapless mid-majors and in the narrowest of scrapes over the two worst teams in the SEC. They have yet to beat a team remotely in Ole Miss's caliber and on the road, with the defense still licking its wounds and team morale almost certainly as its lowest ebb yet, it's awfully hard to see it happening Saturday. Unless the Rebels have the same sort of turnover orgy they put into action against Vandy, they should win the game.

TLV #66 - Extra Spooky Edition

The Red [REDACTED] Cup made the front cover of this edition of The Local Voice with our list of Ole Miss-related Halloween costume ideas. Click the image for a PDF or, if you're too lame to read the rest of the articles (wif pikshures!) you can just read our piece below.




Got a Costume? Here are a few last minute ideas for Oxford Rebels... and the bored.

This weekend could easily shape up to be the second greatest weekend of the football season (the Presidential debate coupled with making Timmy Tebow cry cannot possibly be topped). On Saturday, the Rebels will be (realistically, this time!) looking to defeat the Tigers of Auburn and hopefully serve as an agent for the dismissal of Tommy Tuberville. However, before Houston's harrowing hopeful send their foes home with a loss, an electrified Oxford will experience what is likely to be the rowdiest Halloween in years.

I'm certain that all of our loyal readers are looking forward to this potentially unforgettable weekend, save for, of course, those poor and timid souls who have nary a clever costume idea. Well, never far, Cup fans, for we have some suggestions we feel are well within in the budgets of most and, with the right swagger, can be pulled off by almost anyone. Enjoy:


A typical Arkansas fan - Wear a bunch of tacky, red colored stuff while screaming loudly at all of your friends. Tell them how horrible Houston Nutt is, being certain to use incredibly poor grammar. When people continue to ignore you, start whining and rolling violently around on the ground. For this costume to be as realistic as possible, you need to be somewhat irrational; you know, like believing acupuncture is a legitimate medical practice or that the moon landings were staged.

A typical Mississippi State fan - The same as above, except you need to wear maroon instead of red, ring a cowbell, praise the greatness of Croom before bashing Nutt, and be poor(er).

Pete Boone - Wear a blazer with khaki pants and spend most of your night being overly frugal and out of touch. If your buddy needs a drink, tell him that you'll need to raise the necessary funds and it'll take a long, long while. If he would like a Maker's Mark, get him the well whiskey and tell him it's Maker's Mark anyway. I mean, it's not like you owe it to him or anything, right?

Andy Kennedy - This costume looks exactly like the Hitman of video game and cinematic fame, except you need to know more than everyone in your general vicinity about basketball. Also, you must hang out at the Library all night or the costume won't count.

The Ole Miss baseball team - At the beginning of the night, be an absolute baller. Do your damnedest to make new friends, impress whoever it may be that you're courting, and get everyone to praise your excellence. Then, as the night is winding down, do something horribly, horribly disappointing.

Chris Todd/Kodi Burns - Put together this ensemble with fake blood, a tear-stained Auburn jersey, a Peria Jerry-sized footprint on your chest, and a handful of morning-after pills. Walk around all woozy-like while ordering plenty of Appletinis.

Tommy Tuberville - Wear a Clemson baseball cap with an Auburn cap over it. If you're into carpentry, put together a pine box with "3rd time's a charm" printed on it."

Dexter McCluster - Wear a #22 jersey, a dreadlock wig, and some receiver gloves, making sure to dip your gloves in a vat of bacon grease.

Jerrell Powe - If you've got some stilts, incredibly baggy clothes, and a few hundred pounds of unopened bags of sand, you can easily put together a spot on Jerrell Powe costume. Be warned, though; a lot of folks are going to ask you're if you're "that lame-ass monster from Cloverfield."

Tim Tebow's Heisman Hopes - Buy an orange t-shirt. On it, print "I existed before September 27th."

Houston Nutt - Wear a cassock or a robe with a stole. Aqua-net the mess out of your hair. Carry around a mirror so you can be sure to look at yourself in it while saying generally goofy, overly Southern things. You'll look crazy, but people will love you. And deservedly so, simply because you won't be dressed like...

Ed Orgeron - If you're barrel-chested and somewhat incomprehensible, this is the costume for you. Wear a skin-tight New Orleans Saints polo and a coach's headset (only for looks, mind you). Drink a gallon of Red Bull and take a dip in a bathtub of raw shrimp to capture the necessary energy level and smell, respectively.

Women of the Opposition - Auburn

The Ghost can't sleep, y'all, so he's Googlin' stupid shit through a half open set of eyes to put on the Cup. This week, women of the opposition will feature the good, the bad, and the scandalous (but not at all in that order). If you've got any you'd like to submit, GMail us or just drop something in the comments box.

First, the bad:

I don't know what's worse, the dog-jersey, the bracelet, or the thumb ring.

I know it's a costume, geeze.

I know this doesn't seem very "Plainsy" and I seriously doubt this has anything to do with the Auburn in the SEC, but I do find it pretty funny that a Google image search of "Auburn girls" yielded this likely Obama supporter (oops, did I just say that) young woman.

Next, the good:

Who needs the support of a (certainly large) bra when you've got a big ol' belly-belt?

Finally, the scandalous. These photographs, while certainly SFW in it's purest sense, are not the kinds you'd want your boss (or, shit, even the janitor) catching you taking a peek at. I'm not going to put the image in the post but I'll link to them. There, I've warned you.

I'm pretty sure this chick was in a Playboy, and this girl likely doesn't have much in the way of "self-esteem."

Auburn wimmins: Keeping slightly ahead of the curve set by Alabama for over a century.

SEC Power Poll - Week 9

Hopefully, you normally venture over to Garnet and Black Attack to see what the rest of the SEC blogosphere has to say about the Power Poll every week. If not, shame on you. If so, you'll notice my comment on Tennessee:

What can be said about Tennessee that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan: it's bombed out and depleted.

While humorous, I must confess that this is not an RSC original. As I was submitting a truncated form of our ballot (the deadline was approaching) I realized that I hadn't thought of anything clever or pithy to say about the haplessly horrible Volunteers. So, I borrowed a short line from what may be the greatest sketch ever on Chappelle's Show; The Playa Haterz Ball.

Therefore, this week's Power Poll goes out to you, Silky Johnson. Wherever you may be, I know that you're wishing all of the bad things in the world would happen to us and nobody else. Godspeed!

I would say somthin' about Phil Fulmer's bitches, but it looks like he ate them.

HahahahahHHAaha!!1 ^^^^^^^^ LOLZIES @ State!!!!11

SEC Power Poll - Week 9 Ballot

Now the Power Poll is shaping up to what many (here, at least) would have imagined it being a few months ago...except for Tennessee and Auburn having their cute little "biggest disappointment" contest, of course.

Vandy and Kentucky have proven that they are still, in fact, Vandy and Kentucky. Bama holds our top spot (ARRRRRRRR TEEEEEEEEEE ARRRRRRRRR), State holds our bottom spot (RATTLE RATTLE), and the middle is the typical "who-beat-who" clusterfuck.

Enjoy and, although you never do, I would continue to ask that you please not hesitate to let us know how dumb our asses are being this week.

By the way, since we did not publish our ballot last week, the "change" fields represent the change over the last two weeks so as not to confuse anyone.

Rank	Team	Change	Comments
1	Alabama	---	Bama has been voted number one by the cup for the last three weeks straight. I'm pretty certain they're the only team who can make such a claim.
2	Georgia	+1	Hanging a half-hunnerd on the Bayou Bengals in Baton Rouge is more impressive than...
3	Florida	-1	...doing the same to Kentucky at the Swamp.. isn't it?
4	LSU	---	Why they haven't played (or at least, defended) like the fourth best team in the conference, it is still pretty hard to rank the Tigers any lower.
5	South Carolina	---	Early on, this season looked like it would be a complete disaster for the Gamecocks.
6	Ole Miss	+1	The Rebs will be favored to win three of their last four and have a legitimate chance to take all of 'em. If Ole Miss does win out, they'll have earned this spot in the poll with a winning SEC record and victories over LSU and Florida. That is a big if though as we've learned that no game is in the bag for this team.
7	Vanderbilt	-1	I know they have a better record than the two teams ranked immediately above them. I know that they've beaten the to teams ranked immediately above them. But, c'mon, Vanderbilt is not in the top half of this conference right now.
8	Kentucky	-1	Saturday allowed us to reminisce on the days of Florida beating the ever-living hell out of half of the SEC East every season. Thank, Kentucky.
9	Auburn	---	Looks like Tuberville may be out. Ummm, yeah, Auburn, that's exactly what the rest of the SEC West doesn't want... right guys?
10	Tennessee	+2	According to The Third Saturday in Blogtober, Phil is gone after the Kentucky game. Yeah, he did win them a BCS title... ten seasons ago. While he's a Vol legend (there's a street on campus named for him for goodness sake) it's about time for him to make his leave.
11	Arkansas	-1	It's hard to truly say whether Arkansas is a good football team or not. My gut reaction says no, but they hung in there against the Rebels, let the 'Cats sneak away with one, and exposed Auburn's "good team" facade. Getting blown out by Texas isn't too shocking, but they should have handled 'Bama better.
12	Mississippi State	-1	State made Tennessee look good two weeks ago and made Middle Tennessee look serviceable last week. Kentucky should handle them with ease but you still cannot count this Bulldog team as being out of any game. Koo koo ka-choo.

BLUE 'EM OUT!!1!!1

I just checked my e-mail and saw that I had a message from Coach Nutt in my inbox. If you are a student you got this e-mail, but I figured I would post it in all of its corniness.

Hello Rebel Fans,

I am challenging all of you to show up in Ole Miss BLUE for the game
Saturday versus Auburn. I need you to be in the stands EARLY and be
LOUD!

Help us BLUE’EM OUT!

I know the game is early but come on out and get loud!!!!  I need all of
you to be a BLUE force and help us pounce on these Tigers!


See you Saturday,
Coach Houston Nutt

I am not sure how one becomes a Blue Force, or why that should sound intimidating, but I know if there is one thing I cannot stand it is half-assed organization attempts of uniformed colors at the game. Unless you are going to provide the shirts for the fans or advertise this "Blue Force" sooner than four days before kick off you are not going to have any success. I predict this has about as much success as K-Ville/AK's Army's attempts to get students to respect them and their mindless cheers.

I just hope this Blue Out or Blue Force does not become the next Rebel Express, I'm In!, or Red Alert Rebels. Personally, I think Coach Nutt needs to spend more time worrying about the players dredlocks than sending out e-mails over the students listserve.

I really need to stop reading the Spirit board...

You be the Judge.

This is the offensive pass interference call which many Arkansas fans are upset over. I'm not going to say anything towards the validity of the call. I have my opinions but I'm just going to let you decide. Heck, if you want to be as objective as possible, turn the speakers off so you can't hear the announcers. If you've got 'em nearby, get your friends who cheer for someone besides Arkansas or Ole Miss to take a look at this.

BCS Busters

Allow, please, a brief interruption of non-stop Ole Miss "coverage" - something The Cup does only a little better than Marshay Green - to propose the following potentially contentious idea: a one-loss TCU team should receive a bid over any other potential undefeated from the "different but not less than" conferences.

A one-loss Texas Christian team will have beaten (current rankings reflected) #10 Utah and #17 BYU with their sole loss against #4 Oklahoma - the very weekend that the Sooners ascended to the top of the polls. I say Texas Christian because I expect them to beat Utah next weekend, and I am of the firm opinion that the champion of the Mountain West Conference will be more deserving than WAC undefeated Boise State, C-USA prefect Tulsa, or MAC mack-daddy Ball State.

The most controversial of these teams, obviously, is Boise State, who bucked into Autzen Stadium and roasted the Oregon Ducks. But, the resume of the Mountain West really outshines that of the WAC. Mountain West teams have wins over Michigan, Oregon State, Stanford, UCLA, Arizona, and Washington some team that Ty Willingham still, apparently, coaches. WAC has Oregon, UCLA, Rutgers, and Mississippi State. Meanwhile, the other competent team from the WAC, Fresno State, fooled around and lost to Hawaii. Sorry, no dice.

The champion of the Mountain West will have survived a tough conference. That champion looks like TCU.

We return you now to your regularly-scheduled broadcast.

Tuesday Question

Generally, we are the "authors" of "content" around here - "here" being a blog and not a message board. Recognize, we do, that you've come here not to contribute, but to consume. Nevertheless, there is the sporadic occasion where, either for our benefit or for to exercise the thinkifiers of the masses, we ask you a question. Today's question is ...

Will Auburn Go Bowling in 2008?
Speaking statistically, the State of Alabama is leading the SEC in big whopping surprises by a long-shot. Perhaps the two most shocking stories of 2008 are the rise of Alabama (though 8-0, Tiders, is still a long way from 12-0) and the fall of Auburn (because 4-4 ain't that far from 6-6). The loveliest village on the Plains has turned ugly...
again.

A match-up with the Rebels on Saturday seems crucial to Auburn's bowl hopes. Five wins is almost a given with UT-Martin left on the schedule, but if Tubb's Tigers cannot tally a triumph on Saturday, the math looks dreary for the Plainsmen (Alabama and Georgia are unfriendly accountants).

Yeah, probably not, Tom.

So, this could certainly turn into a debate about who is the likely victor on Saturday (Ole Miss sits as the six-point favorite as of today), or it could be a consideration about whether a 6-6 SEC team gets left out. Whichever, the comparison of season-ending grudge matches - Egg and Iron - certainly tend to indicate a merrier Christmas in the Grove than down at Toomer's Corner.

Auburn Hate Week Begins... NOW

It's on, you greasy rapscallions. After Saturday, you're going to wish you never made the trip up to Oxford. You're all gonna be like "oh man if having Alabama-cock-envy isn't bad enough, now we've gotta deal with the agony of losing to Ole Miss for the first time in five years."

Kodi Burns is a bitch. Chris Todd; he sucks too. They've got the accuracy of a toddler in potty training. Jevan Snead is gonna carve your secondary like a big, juicy, Razorback ham. Peria Jerry and Jerrell "NOM NOM NOM" Powe are going to make your center wish he was never born. Kendrick Lewis will.... ummm... likely whiff on a tackle and/or drop a potential interception.

RTR Motherfucke.... oh, wait.

Good heavens.

Anybody else see the correlation?

You know how I know you're gay? Because you have a Spy Kids poster.

A VERY Tardy Q&A Exchange

As was mentioned in Straw Man numero tres, most of the cup contributors spent their weekend at a wedding. This, naturally, kept us away from the wonderful daytime distraction that is our blog. We not only apologize to you, but we especially apologize to our friends at The Razorback Expats, with whom we had a question and answer exchange. The questions they presented us, with our answers, are up at their blog. The questions we presented them, with their answers, are below. Enjoy and, when you get the chance, visit their blog.

1. How has the attitude of the Arkansas fanbase changed over the last season?

Quite a bit. Razorback fans were a fairly grumpy group of people last year. The team was led by a coach that, before the season began, had already worn out his welcome with a significant portion of the fanbase (and, yes, some Razorback fans were batshit crazy with Nutt hatred, but, despite what Nutt's boosters in the ESPN broadcast booth would have their audience believe, many of the causes of Nutt fatigue were legitimate). Then the team had a disappointing season, and to add to the angst, several of the losses were of the agonizing last-second variety and featured boneheaded Razorback mistakes and/or controversial coaching moves in the waning minutes. As the season came to an end, even the non-haters, by and large, agreed that a fresh start was probably best for all involved.

By contrast, this year Hog fans have a coach that they're excited about, in part because he incorporates this new-fangled play called the "forward pass" into his offense; it's really something to see. Overall, Razorback fans knew this would be a rebuilding year and even though the extent of the rebuilding needed has probably taken some by surprise, there's no real angst among the fan base at this point. That may change to a small extent if Houston Dale and crew blow the Hogs out on Saturday, of course, but the long-term outlook is optimistic.

2. Talk about Casey Dick a little bit. Does he wilt under pressure?

Casey has had an up-and-down year. He started out well, throwing for 318 yards and 323 yards in the Hogs' first two games. Granted, the opponents – Western Illinois and Louisiana Monroe – weren’t exactly Top 10 quality. Still, this is a guy who had never thrown for more than 228 yards in a single game before this year. He looked pretty bad against Alabama, Texas and Kentucky and was OK against Florida and Auburn.

He's actually made his share of clutch plays (overtime against LSU last year, for example), so we hesitate to say that he wilts under pressure and instead think the better explanation for his struggles is that he just isn't that talented of a quarterback. We will say this however: Do not - repeat, do not - underestimate the power of his ears.

3. What about Michael Smith? What is the key to stopping him?

Fortunately for the Rebels, they may not have to worry about stopping him, since he suffered a concussion against Kentucky and isn't certain to play against Ole Miss. Never say never, but if he's not ready to go, it's hard to see the Hogs even being competitive against the Rebels. He has become the heart and soul of the Hogs' offense in recent weeks. Against Kentucky, for example, he accounted for 225 of the team's 330 yards of total offense.

He's small, though, so there have been concerns all along about his durability, questions that have only grown as the team has turned to him more and more. He carried the ball 35 times in each of the Hogs' last two games: The coaches were basically begging for him to get injured and now he has.

When he returns, he may find the going a lot tougher: With no other consistent offensive weapons to contend with at this point, opposing defenses will be free to zero in on Smith.

4. How does the Razorback O-Line matchup against the Rebel D-Line?

Good question. Before the season, our offensive line was usually tapped as the strength of the team. After all, it's anchored by our one bona-fide All-American, center Jonathan Luigs, and it paved the way for McFadden/Jones/Hillis to run for about a billion yards last year. When the games actually started, though, there were some major hiccups adjusting to the new scheme (evidenced by our struggles against our less-than-worldbeating competition in the first two games).

Since then, though, things seem to have jelled nicely and now the line is doing its part...we pretty much marched up and down the field at will against the highly ranked defenses of Auburn and Kentucky (actually pushing into the end zone was a different matter, unfortunately).. The Ole Miss rushers are tough, but we think we'll hold our own there. We're more worried about Snead getting hot and carving up our defense with a big passing day.

5. Realistically, how long do you think Petrino says in Fayetteville? I certainly feel that he needs to "rebuild" his reputation a bit, so he's not going to 1-and done it like some would have you believe. To humor you, I don't see Nutt staying in Oxford longer than 5 years. I'm guessing 3 or 4.

One small benefit of having a losing season is that we probably don't have to worry about Petrino getting happy feet and being poached by some other school after this year. But, anything is possible, and there's a small part of us that's waiting for him to not return to the field after halftime of some game, having just accepted the job at the University of Washington or whatever.

We tend to agree with you that he'll most likely stay put for at least a little while to rebuild his reputation. We also are guessing that the Hogs will improve over the next couple of years, making him a more desirable hire again. If we had to place a bet on it, we'd say he'll be at Arkansas for three seasons.

6. The Rebels won at the Swamp and almost snatched one form the Tide in Bryant-Denney. Do you think the stadium atmosphere for this especially emotional game will have any effect on this team?

The atmosphere at Razorback Stadium will undoubtedly be pretty insane, and we're sure the Hogs will get some sort of emotional lift from all the drama and personal significance behind the game. However, we're also sure that Houston is going to have his players ready to run through a wall for him, so there will be a lot of intensity on both sides. After dealing with all the nonsense of the last year or two, HDN can handle whatever the fans there are going to throw at him.

We could see the first quarter of this game sort of being like the Super Bowl, where both teams are usually so keyed up they don't play particularly well and things don't get going until the emotions have settled down a bit.

7. Looking to the future and, really, just to satisfy my curiosity, how is Ryan Mallett doing? I think a lot of the SEC is nervous (but won't readily admit it) about a Petrino offense centered around Mallett.

Ryan Mallett is currently stored in an isolation chamber deep in the bowels of the U of A athletic complex, where Bobby Petrino and his team of evil masterminds are busily building him into the UltimateSuperRoboQuarterback of the Future. To give you an idea of what's going on, combine the Siberian training montage from Rocky IV with the scene in the Matrix where Keanu wakes up and says "I know kung fu."

Actually, we haven't heard much about Mallett lately, but the last thing we read was that he's progressing well. The coaches were making a point during the preseason workouts of giving him as many reps as possible without hurting the prep time of our active QBs. If all goes according to plan, he'll be ready to do some damage by the time next season rolls around.

Arkansas Recap

Fuck you, Whiskey Wednesday.  I am going to give my thoughts on the game before you do three days after the game.  I am in Atlanta this weekend after watching an ACS high school football game and 3/4ths of a bottle of whiskey into the night and these are my thoughts.

I will address the biggest issue of this game to start off the recap.  Yes, that offensive pass interference call was a load of crap.  Here is the thing though, I do not care.  Do not bring your complaining here because we will not want to hear it.  The receiver did put two hands on the back of Marshay "I look like a Gremlin and cannot play coverage" Green and whether or not he pushed him is up for debate.  (he did not push him)

I was pretty disappointed with the tackling by the defense, especially Kendrick Lewis.  He may have led the team in tackles but he missed at least three tackles that I can recall off the top of my head that led to long Michael Smith runs.  Also, while we were are talking about Kendrick, why can he not catch the ball?  He is a converted wide receiver and has the worst hands in the secondary.  Last season I remember him dropping two easy pick offs against Alabama and Florida and the one tonight against Casey Dick was pathetic.  Yes, Fon Ingram redeemed him the next play, but you cannot excuse drops like that.  

One defensive player not to be disappointed with is Peria Jerry. Jerry had two great sacks against Dick and seemed to be causing problems for the Arkansas line all night.  Another player I felt had a good night was Allen Walker.  Walker may or may not have shown up on the stat sheet but I saw him in on several plays and he pressured Dick on multiple passes.

Say what you want about Nutt, but he does not tolerate bonehead plays.  Patrick Trahan had that retarded personal foul in the first quarter and I cannot remember him re-entering the game after it.  Also, we are in desperate need of corner backs.  Ours are a joke.

The offense performed decently.  Jevan finished 14-27 with 209 yards and 2 tds and one pick and the running back by committee ended with 160 yards.  Some improvement would be nice for the Auburn game, but their offense is about as pathetic as RanchReb chilling at the Levee on the weekends.  

I hope you all enjoy Bobby Petrino for however long he decides to stay on board, which probably will be awhile because no one seems to want him.  I agree with your arguments about Houston.  The guy is so boring and only runs the ball.  I mean it is not like Jevan has the fourth best ypg average in the SEC or anything.  Seriously, all you inbreds can go back to your double wides and enjoy your Billy Beer and yearly vacations to Hardy, Arkansas.  

Thanks for Houston and enjoy last place in the West you fuckers.

P.S. Thanks for the memories Tyrone and Phil!

Arkansas Preview

Game Preview was written by JUCO All- American

Where to begin? Arkansas. Bobby Petrino. This guy...


Oh Arkansas, why do you taunt us so? Why do you come to this blog, talk shit, and lose games by a million points? I mean, honestly. You beat Louisiana Monroe by one point. You can blame a lot of your struggles this season on Houston Nutt leaving you without much talent, but you're significantly more talented than Louisiana Monroe. You have to blame that on poor coaching.

Anyway, on to the preview. I'm actually sort of concerned. We cannot stop the pass. Chris Smelley looked like a first round pick against our secondary. We're 12th in the SEC in passing defense. When it comes to defending the pass, we just blow. Unfortunately for us, Arkansas has a fifth-year senior at quarterback and several decent receiving threats. I'm not just pretending to be a little worried. I really am.

Still, whether it's a game rests entirely on the shoulders of Casey Dick. I'm not concerned about our ability to stop the run or move the ball well against their poorly coached defense. We shouldn't have trouble running or passing, but I expect us to pass more than run if for nothing else than to shove it down Arkansas' throat further than... well you get the picture. Really far.

Arkansas Straw Men - Part 3

Omigah like HaPpY hAlLoWeEn Y'a-wulll!!

Shazzam! The Ghost of Jay Cutler is gettin' ready for what is likely going to be the most bomb-ass weekend this side of Mardi Gras. A good but of us Red [REDACTED] Cuppers are going to be attending a wedding this weekend (one of us is getting married and, no, we're not saying who) and we're going to set a new standard for gettin' dranked. If Memphis is a smoldering pile of ash by Sunday morning, you can blame these assholes right here.

Anywho, if we don't do a whole lotta updatin' over the next couple of days, you'll know why.

Ok, well, having that been said, here's

Arkansas Straw Man Number 3: "Houston Nutt is the Devil... I mean, he porked a weatherlady!"

I would hope an SEC coach could do better...

To cover this, I'm going to use an excerpt from a swap piece we're doing with Razorback Expats which, as a member of the illustrious SEC Power Poll, is a damn great college football blog. No, I'm not bullshittin' ya. It really is a good blog and if you haven't been checking it out on occasion you really should. We were asked about the Houston Dale "honeymoon" and what our true feelings towards Coach Nutt were. Part of my response is below:

Look, we know that he says wacky stuff like "yehaw" and "special" all of the time. We know that he banged a weatherlady (go get 'em, tiger). We know that he's oftentimes self absorbed. We know all of these things. But here's what a lot of you Arkansas fans don't get: we've had fucking batshit motherfucking crazy son of a bitch as a head coach. His name was Ed Orgeron. He had the temperament, body odor, and IQ of a shrimpboat captain. He hated interacting with the fans and media. He bled Red Bull. He was unintelligible. He received counseling for his issues with domestic violence. He was arrested for getting into a bar fight… in Baton Rouge. All of this got him placed on probation from the Athletic Department of the University of MIAMI!

You Hogs love to talk about how horrible Houston Nutt was. Naw, lawya. We know horrible. Trust us. Houston Nutt doesn't hold a candle to Eddie O.

Arkansas fans really think they had it bad with Nutt. He (egads!) fibbed to recruits and (gadzooks!) had an extramarital affair (as if that has anything to do with coaching) and he even would make a goober of himself during press conferences! The horror! The agony!

Arkansas, we have no pity. This motherfucker was our head coach. Capiche? I've said it once before on a comment thread here, and I'll say it again: Arkansas may have had no shoes, but we Rebels had no feet.

And another thing: all of this finger pointing comes from a state that loves Bill Clinton. He can get his knob slobbed in the White House and everyone's all cool, but if a coach bangs a lady from the local news station, you're outraged? I mean, come on Arkansas. I've never seen more obsenely bizarre double standards come from anyone else.

Have a kickass weekend everyone, Rebels and Hogs.

Fun with statistics!

I thought it might be interesting to look at how we statistically match up with the rest of the conference.

We'll start with the basics.
Scoring offense: 5th
Scoring defense 11th
Total Offense: 4th
Total Defense: 11th
It's good to see that for the first time in a few years we're not sitting in the bottom half of the conference in both offense and defense. I've been quite happy with our offensive output, but I would like to see more sustained drives and fewer big plays. As for the defense, we obviously have some work to do if we want to be able to win more games. I've been absolutely shocked by how little our defensive backfeild has progressed over the past two years. They're still making the same freaking mistakes. Also, where the hell is Johnny Brown? He was a starter last season as a true freshman. I know that Kendrick Lewis is better in coverage, but I would love to see Brown get an increase in workload in the remainder of the season.

Rushing offense: 5th
Rushing Defense: 7th
Passing Offense: 5th
Passing Defense: 12th
Pass Efficiency: 5th
Def Pass Efficiency: 12th
With our rushing and passing offenses ranked 5th, we have shown a great deal of balance thusfar. I was worried that we would be passing too much, but we have done a great job getting our young backs the ball while not asking too much from them in their first season.
Once again, the defense is fine except for the pass defense. Whenever our opponents put the ball in the air, I worry that they've just thrown a touchdown pass. For all that Ed Orgeron did for this team, he only signed one corner back. One cornerback in three years will never breed a successful pass defense. Never. This past class, Nutt signed four and convinced Marcus Temple to walk on. I'm so glad that we now have a coach who understands that you have to recruit your weaknesses and not just the best players who will come to your school.

Interceptions: 12th
Sacks by: 3rd-T
Sacks against: 3rd-T
Hm... interceptions. I wonder why we don't have any of those. Maybe it's our lack of scholarship corner backs.
It's good to see the sacks coming from all along the defensive line. I figured that by this point Greg Hardy would have somewhere near 8 sacks and our team would have somewhere near 10. That's not the case. We've done a great job getting pressure on the quarterback.
On the flip side, while our offensive line still can't run block, they can pass block very well. Jevan isn't getting hit early very often, something that I'm sure he's happy about.

Arkansas Hate Week - Bobby Petrino Edition

Fish in a bucket. The broad side of a barn. Digging a post-hole with a back-hoe. These are the tired analogies one could use to describe the effortlessness with which one can paint Bobby Petrino to be a lying scumbag greasier than breakfast at The Beacon, but not nearly as satisfying filled from head-to-toe with 24 tons of everything that would make Mike Roe vomit less than honest. Lawyer Milloy said it best:

Bobby Petrino's integrity has been talked about and roundly discredited for months on end. Sometimes it has been done so in farcical visual images. Other times by former players. And, notably for the young law student, even through satirical litigation. It's been done to death.

But it cannot be overlooked, not during Arkansas Hate Week, that the man who now leads Razorback Nation is, by their estimation, preferable to the former head coach to whom many in the Natural State have assigned the title of "Snake Oil Salesman," which is, of course, analogous to the pot calling the glass pitcher black.

Logically, though, there seems to be a double-standard here on the Cup. We speak lowly of Petrino, while balking when our friendly pig posters harangue Houston. Isn't that a little bit of irrational homerism? Wouldn't it be far more consistent to accept and let accept? If the man has found his home in fair frightful forgiving Fayetteville, who are we, the undefiled of Oxford, to care?

Upstanding folks, that's who. Put your Baptist hats on, get on down to the Town Square, and start judging. That's what real Southern Hospitality is all about, simmering endlessly in the faults and foibles of others, so that you can show your decency and courage to yourself by acting polite when in the presence of the profane. By Jove, the man is downright despicable. Misunderstood Houston Nutt found himself dragged shamelessly through town by those ill-mannered (and likely ill-bred) Arkansans, while they accept with open-arms the most dishonest man of his profession, who no doubt has a dozen or more paramours with which his interaction exceeds far beyond, I'm sure, the innocent and occasional text message. Why, I doubt that any self-respecting weather girl would be caught dead receiving calls from Mr. Petrino, animal that he is. Forget not that Mr. Petrino once attempted full-time employment in (I dare not say it aloud) ... Auburn. Terror of terrors.

In conclusion and summary, like most really important principles (for example, religion and complex mathematics), it is mandatory that we, on regular occasions, return and examine the evidence and thought processes that brought us to our present conclusions on any very important matter. To wit: Bobby Petrino is an ass-hat. Always has been. Always will be.

Hotty Toddy! Pork Roast.