Coarser Salt, Deeper Wounds: Reader Submissions

In the wake of such a paradigm shifting victory, we're bound to see an inbox full of "OMFG's" and "hey lol look @ my Facebook album's." To everyone: thanks. We love getting reader feedback and, occasionaly, we like to share it with you. Below are two solid, Cotton Bowl-related gems which we've received.

First, a reader (one "Taylor D") submitted this photo of a dapper young squire holding up a sign which a Texas Tech fan left behind in what I imagine was unfathomable shame.
You score a lot, huh? Well, we score more apparently. Thanks, Taylor and, to whomever that young man is, nice souvenier.

The second bit comes from a young woman (we'll call her "Longlegs Lenore") who recently earned herself a job doing some fancy schmancy stuff a blogger couldn't hope to understand. The story of her hiring was a bit of a roundabout kinda thing. She and this other young woman were finalists for some position, the other young woman "got" the job, only to be turned away during her closing interview because the big boss man was apparently unimpressed. He calls our faithful reader back up then interviews, likes, and hires her. But, there's more to the story:

...the other candidate that was initially going to be hired over me, who had a Master's in Legislative Affairs and failed to impress in the final round......

She went to Texas Tech.

GUNS UP!!!!!!!!!!

We r all up in ur job inntervyoo, steelin ur fyootur kareer. Oh, and congrats on the job, 'Legs.

Keep the submissions coming. Oh, and sorry for the slow pace as of late. We're working on something, alright? You'll get to see it sooner rather than later. Just chill.

More salt, more wounds

I'm bored, alright?

Salt in the wounds

The Sourest of Grapes

Outside of our bowl matchups and the home-and-home series in 2002 and 3, I've had no real ill will towards Texas Tech. I've always thought Mike Leach to be an innovative offensive coach and I think the Big XII is the only conference which truly rivals the SEC in football tradition and fan fervor.

Hell, I even have family who graduated from Tech and no, I'm not just making that up.

However, despite my otherwise neutral feelings towards Texas Tech, these last few weeks have found me a little more than annoyed with the Red Raider fanbase. I had always heard from friends of mine who are fans of Texas or Texas A&M that Tech fans were "classless clowns."

Nah. I didn't believe it. There are age-old rivalries involved there and all kinds of blind prejudice is likely to result. I figured that folks outside of the SEC wouldn't listen (or really care for) whatever we spew about State, LSU, and the other usual suspects so why should I put much into what they had to say?

Next time, I'll pay more attention.

Just visit any Texas Tech forum. If you'll look back a few weeks you'll see all of the anti-Ole Miss trash. You'll even see it on several Ole Miss sites. Now, just look over the last two days. You'll see some Rebel fans returning the favor, only to be called "classless" by Red Raider fans. We're disgusting and (get this) need to learn how to "win with class."

SCRedRaider, who has over 1000 posts to the Scout forum had this to say:

I have never seen a teams fan base talk sh!t after they won a game. You have certainly done something that I have never seen before.

Alright, I'll cut the guy some slack. Maybe he's only been a Tech fan for, oh, I dunno a couple of months or something. Certainly that's doubtful but, if he had never seen such a thing then he obviously never saw Tech play against Texas A&M in 2001 or Oklahoma in 2005.

Many, many Rebel fans have commented as to how obscenely disrespectful the Red Raiders have been over the last several weeks. Forums and websites on both ends have been overrun with the same old senseless, trite garbage about how Ole Miss "sucks," Mississippi "sucks" (by the way, shit turns real motherfucking personal when you bring the Magnolia State into this), Texas Tech deserves better, yadda yadda yadda. Hell, your own players dogged the Rebels and the Cotton Bowl during press conferences!

Yet, we're not supposed to talk trash because the game is over...

Yeah, that's real fucking lame, Tech. We deal with LSU, State, Alabama, and Arkansas (who obviously picked up the art of annoying bullshit from you back in the old Southwest Conference days) every single season so the fact that your antics and general assclownery have caused a stir among we Rebels is pretty damned significant.

Granted, there are some commendable Raiders on the Internet who are civil and mature about these kinds of things and Mike Leach showed our team more respect than most SEC head coaches would have so I do not mean to suggest that everyone affiliated with Texas Tech behaves in this manner.

Furthermore, I am not necessarily defending the Rebs who have trolled your forums and/or treated some of you with disrespect at the Cotton Bowl. A lot of them have been damned embarrassments. My point in all of this is that, with regards to "class," Texas Tech fans are towards the bottom of the Big XII.

A whole host of you deserve every. single. bit. of. this. shit. If you can't take what you deserve, then either move the fuck out of your glass houses or quit throwing stones.

This "Landshark" Gimmick isn't at all Overdone

Guest contributor: really anybody from the Spirit or Rivals free boards


ARE?! YOU!? READDYYYY!?!!

I know I am. I'm headed to DALLAS soon to watch Jevan Sneed, Gerald Poe, and the rest of our REBS beat the tar outta those Texas Tech DEAD Raiders! Teh Big 12 sucks and cant play DEFENSE like the SEC! I konw we're going to beat Texas Tech because we've got something which they have never seen... THE LANDSHARKS!



LMAO @ TYSON LEE!!! YEAH!!! HOTTY TODDY GO REBELS GO!!!

I don't give a hoot whether or not they've got some OVERRATED quarterback and wide reciever because they're probably going to have to change their pants (after they doodoo in them) after seeing this video!!


If they don't know anything about the landsharks, perhaps they should ask those LEGHUMPIN' BULLFRAUDS!!! And those bayou kitties! WATCH THE VIDEO AGAIN!

I've been watching Jaws while drinking LANDSHARK beer to get pumped up for this one. WHOO! I love Jimmy BUffett!

You've got LANDSHARKS to your Left! LANDSHARKS to your right! And you're the only Dead GAYder in town!!!1

Catchy, huh? I only wish the Techies were the Blue Raiders so I could wear my RED sharkfin hat! Guns up, whatever more like FINS UP!!

LANDSHARK!

New RSC Poll: Who's crazier?

Friday afternoon will feature some interesting matchups. Everyone will undoubtedly compare Texans Graham Harrell and Jevan Snead; observe Tech's offensive line battle the Rebel defensive line; and debate the merits of the two completely different football philosophies on display. However, no matchup is more intriguing than that of the battle for the "most batshit bonkers head coach" title which will be up for grabs between Mike "Yarrrgghh" Leach and Houston "Giggity, let us pray" Nutt.

Mike Leach shows up at local news stations, has a fascination with pirates, and generally spouts off long-winded yet eloquent diatribes about nothing while staring off into space. He also runs a pretty precisely timed spread.

Houston Nutt gesticulates like a person having hallucinations that they are on fire, shouts incoherently, and has a wacky smile which screams "I'm on barbiturates."

It's a tough decision to make, so I'm leaving it up to you, Cup fans. And, just for shiggles, I'm throwing in a third candidate:

Chaining a hyena is pretty fucking insane

By the way: I know that giving a person three choices to determine who's craziER is technically grammatically incorrect. But, c'mon, this is so a two horse race. Hyena guy doesn't stand a damn chance.

Texas Tech Hate Week

It's on, Tech. Put your guns up or whatever that shit is because you're going to need it.

Season Recap: Photos and Haikus

Memphis, city of
I beg you, leave our fair town
Don't ever come back


Wake got the ball last
Dex threw an interception
Lewis missed the sack


We played hungover
And still won by 21
That guy's knee is fucked

Four interceptions?
Seriously, Mr. Snead!?
This one is on you


Holy fucking shit!
UF may win BCS
You're welcome, Timmy!


Lack of dicipline
Exposed our secondary
Goalline fumbles!? DEX!


Had a bad 1st half
Bama had a bad 2nd
Tweaked Mt. cody's knee


Season's turning point
Arkansas fans are crazy;
That was OPI


Jevan started slow,
Auburn's offense was limp-dicked
See ya, Tuberville!


No one saw this game
We made up a fake weblog
SQUAWK EM HAWK EM REBS!


Fuck you, LSU
That shit was way overdue
We earned ugly prize


We brought the egg home
Many happy returns, Dawgs!
Oh no! They fired CroomS!

That was a pretty kickass way to waste time at the office, if I must say so myself. If you've got any other haikus you'd like to share please do. Oh, and to whoever took these photos, shoot us an email so we can give you due credit (omg plz plz let us use them kthxbai).

EDIT: The photo of Billy Tapp juking some guy is pretty damned badass. That's definitely the highlight of his *ahem* illustrious football career at Ole Miss. Thank you for everything, Billy.

Women of the Opposition: Mississippi State

Every week the RSC staff or just me looks for scandalous, exotic and really fat women that cheer for our weekend enemies. Women in the SEC are known for their beauty especially at our alma mater- OLE MISS. 

Mississippi State. A place for women exuding beauty and class. 

These are the kind of girls you bring home to momma. 

Their sexy looks, smoking hot bodies and endearing smiles would make a puppy pull a freight train.

Remember son, always use a vinyl oven mitt upon insertion

Wow. We went there. 

HATE STATE WEEK IS ON

Open up your heart and let the hate out!

Oh, is this week going to be fantastic or what!? Still riding the "we just throttled LSU's shit in Baton Rouge" high, we've got only a few weekdays to squeeze in our immense hatred for the Fightin' Crooms.

So, without any further ado, I officially delcare the season for extrme Mississippi State hatin' to be open on the Red [REDACTED] Cup. Bring everything you've got to the table because onee of the SEC's most classic and enduring rivalries is being revisited this Friday in Oxford. And, this time, it won't end with a golden egg being hoisted above the head of some jackass wearing maroon.

This won't happen again for a long, long time.

Oh the Look on Les' Face

If you've got your own caption or speech bubbles, go for it.

An Open Letter to the LSU OL

To the most esteemed Louisiana State University Offensive Line,

And so it came to pass, when the Archduke of Sackenstein made an end of corresponding with one John Parker Wilson, that much praise and exaltation was thrust upon him for his skillful and virtuous prose. Upon observing this, I have concluded that, as a scribe of the highest order and dexterity, my desire to engage in fruitful intercommunication should be fully realized. Thus, shouldst thou will to critique mine own manner of parlance, prithee, do keep thine own tongue faithfull to the manner of speaking of thy forebearers.

Ah, young Tigers, for thine is the glory of the Southeastern Conference's Western Division when strictly speaking in a sense of recent tradition. However, lest you not be decieved by my words, let it be known that for in this season the Crimson Tide of the University of Alabama has risen to lofty heights just below that of their supporters and colleague's wildest most mundane of dreams.

Yet and so, whilst sitting on the verge of another early December spent at a fair distance from the Divine Kingdom of Atlanta, my Rebellious legion and I must fight for something other than the right to loftily fly victory banners over our stronghold. Nay, we Rebels will fight for something which is far less glorious yet nearly as pride inducing: a consolation banner.

"Lo, here be the realm of the second most victorious football legion in the Southeastern Conference's Western Division during the 2008th year of our Lord."

The beauty of said imagined banner brings a tear to the mind's eye.

My desire to obtain this prize and to bring my rebellious legion to heights deemed impossible nearly one annum ago has become insatiable. My, nay, our quest must be successful. Our goal must be reached. And, as pitifully unfortunate as it may be, thou standest accross our path. Thy charitable leader and gaudily crowned king will not find the capabilities necessary to halt our destiny. Despite your anticipations or most hopeful desires, thou shalt be vanquished.

Lo, how fate hast collided our paths. This upcoming Saturday, upon the Sun's falling and as the blackness of nightfall washes over our realm, ye shall taste the most shameful and bitterest of defeats whilst I, along with my colleagues, hoist high thy floral phallus for which we have bargained.

Invoke thy aid to my adventurous quest, that as my middle finger intends to soar bove the Louisianian mount, whyle I attempt things unattempted yet in prose, rhyme, or football.

Vis-a-vis, ergo, concordently and respectfully with nothing but my sincerest regards and sympathies,

Lord Jerrel Pöwe, Earl of Nomnom, Baron of Hoverround

Post scriptum - HAHA Y'all mawfukkas smell like a Goddamn county fair! OOH-WEE! Pass da murrstard cuz dey some corndog sons-a-bitchs here! SCOOT SCOOT MOTHERFUCKER!

LSU HATE WEEK - YouTube the fourth (special "hate" edition)

Ole Miss is the racism whipping-boy of the SEC. LSU fans are quick to mention things like our confederate imagery, difficult integration (which happened two years before theirs) , and our by-gone mascot while completely ignoring shit like this:

Keep it classy, LSU.

Are we LSU's rival?

The short answer is, of course, yes.





The long answer is as follows:

"I mean, Ole Miss isn't really our rival."

"Ha Ole PI-YUSS thinks were there Rival haha taht's dumb LOL!"

How often have you heard or seen that? A few of my good friends who are either LSU students or alumni have even spouted off that nonsense. They argue that since we haven't been incredibly competitive in the series since the turn of the century that the annual matchup doesn't deserve the "rivalry" monniker anymore. Well, LSU, I guess that Tulane isn't a rival of yours anymore. I guess Alabama can no longer be Auburn's rival after Tubs snatched 6 in a row from them. I guess Florida should then considered one of our major rivals being as how the Ole Miss/Florida series has literally been the single most competitive SEC series since 2000.

What a crock. A rivalry is not determined by what has happened over the last few seasons. Only a short-sighted buffoon would suggest such a thing. Rivalries are age-old and develop over long periods of time. Rivalries, in a bizarre way, are like family in that you, in your present state, cannot just pick and choose who-is-what all willy-nilly like. Rivalries existed before you, and they'll be there after you're dead.

"Oh but Alabama has Saban and Auburn is good and we play Florida every season(eaux)."

All true statements, but I don't see your student body designing any phallic trophies for those games. The fact that LSU, not Ole Miss, thought up this Magnolia Bowl bullshit is more than enough proof that the Ole Miss/LSU rivalry is not a one-way street leaving Oxford.

You play the Billy Cannon punt return on your jumbotron before home games.

Your fans wear "Go to Hell Ole Miss" buttons to games which don't even feature Ole Miss.

You write crap like this (and post it on a Pittsburgh Steelers forum?)

Heck, our rivalry even extends beyond the gridiron onto the hardwood and diamond. I'm sure you remember Clarence Sanders knocking down the long two over Big Baby to seal the deal two seasons ago and I know you haven't forgotten about getting mercy-ruled out of Hoover by the very coach who you attempted (and failed) to hire away from us.

Don't pretend like there isn't an age old tradition of hating Ole Miss down on the bayou. You love to hate us and, guess what, we love to hate you too.


EDIT: Your jackass coach even seems to think we're rivals.

LSU HATE WEEK - YouTube III

My apologies for not posting this yesterday. I'll have a 2nd YouTube up for LSU hate week up (hopefully) for the earlier part of this afternoon. Until then, enjoy this, one of Lil Jon's masterpieces.

In case you were at all curious, yes, this is the attitude we should have towards LSU and everyone else in the SEC. "Talkin' shit 'bout me bitch? I don't give a fuck."

Other blogs participating in LSU Hate Week

The dapper young squires at Speed Limit 18 have a photo essay (which is really more like a photo dissertation) which is more than likely able to light a hate-flame under the ass of any good Rebel fan who views it. Click here at your own risk.

It's not just us, LSU

That's right, it's time for you to know, LSU. All the bloggeurs took a vote and decided that we here at the RSC be the ones to tell you. Um, gosh, I don't know how to say it.

Everyone really hates you.

Even your own fans know it.

We didn't know how else to tell you except through the various signs spotted across the college football universe(see: here, here and here).

Other fans hate LSU for various reasons: your coach, your tradition, your fans, etc.

But to sum it up, it's your arrogance that gets me the most. You don't know how to win with class or have class at all come to think of it. For example, LSU fans chant L-S-U at the Sugar Bowl when they aren't even playing in it. 

Granted, if Ole Miss won a national championship, I would be much more of an asshole to every other SEC team or fan I came into contact with, but for some reason, maybe because you were so irrelevant for so long, you just have to bask in your current glory spewing your "TIGAH BAIT" propaganda and flinging Evan Williams bottles at opposing fans.

So there it is, LSU. Our hate week has yet to come to a close, but just in case you thought Ole Miss fan's hatred was due to jealousy, don't you worry. Everyone hates you.

LSU HATE WEEK - YouTube numero dos

If you'll recall, a while back I wrote a post with a slew of YouTubes which showed LSU fans in their typical insanely douchey douchedom. There were grown men doing Da SoUlJa BoI(!!1), a guy too drunk to stand, and a coonass sliding head first into a table. The shot, if you'll recall, was taken from about 40 feet away. Well, faithful Cup fans, bask in the glory of this extended version of that same incident from a mere 6 ot 7 feet away.


BOOM! Headshot

What a great sound... ker-CLACK!

And what an appropriate allegory to this upcoming Saturday! The Tigers are going to slide along along their bellies (as they maybe-not-really-kinda-sorta have been doing all season long) until up pops our Rebels like the end of a table! I also imagine that, if he even gets a chance to play, Jarrett Lee will end up writhing on the ground in pain like our video's star after his meeting with Jerry, Locket, and Powe LLP.

Oh, and you know he's super-duper-way-out-in-orbit fucked if Hardy doesn't forget his magic shoes.

LSU HATE WEEK

It's on, LSU. This shit's not funny anymore. We don't give a hell about your damned BCS trophies.* We hate your jackass coach. Purple and yellow are shitty colors. Your fans give us migraines with their extreme 'tardhood.

This isn't a fucking game. It's war.

Here's your song for the day. Expect one every day this week. You need to have a fucking lesson taught to your asses and there's not a better way to do that than through grainy rap videos over the internets.

Heed the advice given, LSU; especially the advice regarding hygiene. Lord knows great deal of your fanbase could use it.

*Seriously though, thanks for taking Ohio State to the shed. No joke here.

ULM Hate Week!

It's on!

EDIT: You know what, I really can't get all worked up over playing ULM. I really couldn't care less about this game. I just want our players to go out there, give a half assed effort, hang half-a-hunnerd on 'em, and get their swerve on that night. Are we looking ahead to LSU? You bet your ass we are. You all know as well as I that if ULM hadn't gotten that fluke win over Alabama last season this game would be as big an afterthought as the third-to-last game of the season can be.