The Giggity Song

This is what I did with my Sunday afternoon. Hopefully you'll recognize it as a response to the famed Coach O "Yaw Yaw" song.



Lyrics, music, and video by yours truly.

EDIT: Yes, I know, I'm not a great singer. Sue me.

TLV #66 - Extra Spooky Edition

The Red [REDACTED] Cup made the front cover of this edition of The Local Voice with our list of Ole Miss-related Halloween costume ideas. Click the image for a PDF or, if you're too lame to read the rest of the articles (wif pikshures!) you can just read our piece below.




Got a Costume? Here are a few last minute ideas for Oxford Rebels... and the bored.

This weekend could easily shape up to be the second greatest weekend of the football season (the Presidential debate coupled with making Timmy Tebow cry cannot possibly be topped). On Saturday, the Rebels will be (realistically, this time!) looking to defeat the Tigers of Auburn and hopefully serve as an agent for the dismissal of Tommy Tuberville. However, before Houston's harrowing hopeful send their foes home with a loss, an electrified Oxford will experience what is likely to be the rowdiest Halloween in years.

I'm certain that all of our loyal readers are looking forward to this potentially unforgettable weekend, save for, of course, those poor and timid souls who have nary a clever costume idea. Well, never far, Cup fans, for we have some suggestions we feel are well within in the budgets of most and, with the right swagger, can be pulled off by almost anyone. Enjoy:


A typical Arkansas fan - Wear a bunch of tacky, red colored stuff while screaming loudly at all of your friends. Tell them how horrible Houston Nutt is, being certain to use incredibly poor grammar. When people continue to ignore you, start whining and rolling violently around on the ground. For this costume to be as realistic as possible, you need to be somewhat irrational; you know, like believing acupuncture is a legitimate medical practice or that the moon landings were staged.

A typical Mississippi State fan - The same as above, except you need to wear maroon instead of red, ring a cowbell, praise the greatness of Croom before bashing Nutt, and be poor(er).

Pete Boone - Wear a blazer with khaki pants and spend most of your night being overly frugal and out of touch. If your buddy needs a drink, tell him that you'll need to raise the necessary funds and it'll take a long, long while. If he would like a Maker's Mark, get him the well whiskey and tell him it's Maker's Mark anyway. I mean, it's not like you owe it to him or anything, right?

Andy Kennedy - This costume looks exactly like the Hitman of video game and cinematic fame, except you need to know more than everyone in your general vicinity about basketball. Also, you must hang out at the Library all night or the costume won't count.

The Ole Miss baseball team - At the beginning of the night, be an absolute baller. Do your damnedest to make new friends, impress whoever it may be that you're courting, and get everyone to praise your excellence. Then, as the night is winding down, do something horribly, horribly disappointing.

Chris Todd/Kodi Burns - Put together this ensemble with fake blood, a tear-stained Auburn jersey, a Peria Jerry-sized footprint on your chest, and a handful of morning-after pills. Walk around all woozy-like while ordering plenty of Appletinis.

Tommy Tuberville - Wear a Clemson baseball cap with an Auburn cap over it. If you're into carpentry, put together a pine box with "3rd time's a charm" printed on it."

Dexter McCluster - Wear a #22 jersey, a dreadlock wig, and some receiver gloves, making sure to dip your gloves in a vat of bacon grease.

Jerrell Powe - If you've got some stilts, incredibly baggy clothes, and a few hundred pounds of unopened bags of sand, you can easily put together a spot on Jerrell Powe costume. Be warned, though; a lot of folks are going to ask you're if you're "that lame-ass monster from Cloverfield."

Tim Tebow's Heisman Hopes - Buy an orange t-shirt. On it, print "I existed before September 27th."

Houston Nutt - Wear a cassock or a robe with a stole. Aqua-net the mess out of your hair. Carry around a mirror so you can be sure to look at yourself in it while saying generally goofy, overly Southern things. You'll look crazy, but people will love you. And deservedly so, simply because you won't be dressed like...

Ed Orgeron - If you're barrel-chested and somewhat incomprehensible, this is the costume for you. Wear a skin-tight New Orleans Saints polo and a coach's headset (only for looks, mind you). Drink a gallon of Red Bull and take a dip in a bathtub of raw shrimp to capture the necessary energy level and smell, respectively.

Arkansas Straw Men - Part 3

Omigah like HaPpY hAlLoWeEn Y'a-wulll!!

Shazzam! The Ghost of Jay Cutler is gettin' ready for what is likely going to be the most bomb-ass weekend this side of Mardi Gras. A good but of us Red [REDACTED] Cuppers are going to be attending a wedding this weekend (one of us is getting married and, no, we're not saying who) and we're going to set a new standard for gettin' dranked. If Memphis is a smoldering pile of ash by Sunday morning, you can blame these assholes right here.

Anywho, if we don't do a whole lotta updatin' over the next couple of days, you'll know why.

Ok, well, having that been said, here's

Arkansas Straw Man Number 3: "Houston Nutt is the Devil... I mean, he porked a weatherlady!"

I would hope an SEC coach could do better...

To cover this, I'm going to use an excerpt from a swap piece we're doing with Razorback Expats which, as a member of the illustrious SEC Power Poll, is a damn great college football blog. No, I'm not bullshittin' ya. It really is a good blog and if you haven't been checking it out on occasion you really should. We were asked about the Houston Dale "honeymoon" and what our true feelings towards Coach Nutt were. Part of my response is below:

Look, we know that he says wacky stuff like "yehaw" and "special" all of the time. We know that he banged a weatherlady (go get 'em, tiger). We know that he's oftentimes self absorbed. We know all of these things. But here's what a lot of you Arkansas fans don't get: we've had fucking batshit motherfucking crazy son of a bitch as a head coach. His name was Ed Orgeron. He had the temperament, body odor, and IQ of a shrimpboat captain. He hated interacting with the fans and media. He bled Red Bull. He was unintelligible. He received counseling for his issues with domestic violence. He was arrested for getting into a bar fight… in Baton Rouge. All of this got him placed on probation from the Athletic Department of the University of MIAMI!

You Hogs love to talk about how horrible Houston Nutt was. Naw, lawya. We know horrible. Trust us. Houston Nutt doesn't hold a candle to Eddie O.

Arkansas fans really think they had it bad with Nutt. He (egads!) fibbed to recruits and (gadzooks!) had an extramarital affair (as if that has anything to do with coaching) and he even would make a goober of himself during press conferences! The horror! The agony!

Arkansas, we have no pity. This motherfucker was our head coach. Capiche? I've said it once before on a comment thread here, and I'll say it again: Arkansas may have had no shoes, but we Rebels had no feet.

And another thing: all of this finger pointing comes from a state that loves Bill Clinton. He can get his knob slobbed in the White House and everyone's all cool, but if a coach bangs a lady from the local news station, you're outraged? I mean, come on Arkansas. I've never seen more obsenely bizarre double standards come from anyone else.

Have a kickass weekend everyone, Rebels and Hogs.

An Open Letter to Pete Boone

Dearest Mr. Boone,

I'm graduating. In 9 days I'll get a (useless) degree and begin my way along my slippery-slope laden journey to delusional and drunken old-manhood. I, just as thousands before me, will wear sweatervests, lurk the Spirit boards, and babble to all the younguns about how great the glory days of my undergrad years were.

Err.... Ok, maybe not that last part there.

Y'see Pete, it's kinda-sorta always been my dream to become the grouchy old man who, despite your most desperate pleas, won't give you you God-damned frisbee back ("I told you kids to keep away from my Azaleas!") and you've robbed me of a precious cornerstone of this dream.

Instead of grudgingly making younger kids listen to my stories about "Mannings" and "Sugar Bowls" I'll have to tell them tings like "Uh, well, Micheal Spurlock broke his hand that one time" and "I didn't even realize Wyoming had a football team." A crucial part of my future was supposed to rely heavily on my ability to remind everyone that Ole Miss was better when I was young and now they're all going to know that I'm full of shit.

When I was a senior in high school, I would make the drive up to Oxford every other Saturday in the fall and see things like this, this, and this. I was enamored. I was a loyal disciple in the Church of Manning, taking my Kool-aid Kommunion every holy Saturday.

Unfortunately, over my four undergraduate years, I never saw anything quite like that.

Ok, I'll give it to you, without a Manning, that is to be understood. However, shit like this, this, and this.... isn't. Over the last four years I have seen 14 football wins. That is only 3.5 wins a year and no, I'm going to round that one up. I have seen us lose to Memphis, Vandy (twice), State (twice), Kentucky, and Wyoming (twice). The closest thing to a blowout victory I saw was a 24-0 "trouncing" of LaTech and part of me wants to call that win a fluke. Pete, if all of this has yet to get the point accross, let me give you a brief rundown of what I saw over the last 4 years.

YEAR 1
Ahh, sweet naïveté. Eli was gone but that's ok; I was an optimist! I read (and subsequently learned not to trust) the Clarion Ledger and thought that Micheal Spurlock was just David Cutcliffe re-stocking the cupboard. All was well for an Ole Miss freshman. That is, until we lost to Memphis at home. From then on out it was a disaster losing to Wyoming and just barely squeaking by Vanderbilt in overtime.
You fired Cutcliffe and I was mildly critical at first. However, once I realized that his backup plan for Eli Manning was this asshole it became clear to me that, despite being a good QB producer, Cutcliffe just wasn't head coach material. So, who did you hire? A supposed recruiting guru from a big time program. Boy I was excited. "That was the piece missing from Cutcliffe: recruiting!" I shouted. The Coach O era was, in many of our minds, going to mark a period of new, unprecedented growth in the program. Year 2 was most certainly going to be MUCH more exciting than year 1!

YEAR 2

Vroom vroom, motherfucker!

YEAR 3
So the Coach O era was off to a slow start but we weren't worried. Afterall, you've gotta give a guy some time with which to work right? O showed that he was, in fact, the Recruitzilla by pulling in a nationally ranked recruiting class but also demonstrated that he wasn't quite the GetPlayersToQualifyzilla that we may have hoped for. Powe wasn't going to show up (again) and Schaeffer, the next Michael Vick according to Spirit board posters, wasn't so much on campus for the first few practices. We beat Memphis (yippee!) and State (hoorah!) but that's the only cause for celebration we got. The Grove was miserable that year and attendance began to sink significantly. Mumblings and grumblings around Oxford wanted to get rid of O until he pulled Jevan Snead away from Texas. The recruiting guru and his hypnotic use of yellow ".gif" stars had saved his ass and we were in for another year in the O Zone.

YEAR 4
Schaeffer lost the starting job before the Memphis game. Yep, that's right, the 5 star wunderkind turned out to be a stoner thug. We played the most absolutely disgusting football imaginable for a great majority of the season until the Egg Bowl. Horrid football meant that the only way our season could be salvaged would have been an Egg Bowl victory (and a likely cause to deny State a bowl bid). For the first three quarters we were keeping the game well within hand. "Hell yeah," we shouted. "Orgeron is coming around and really coaching this team to victory!"
Fifteen minutes later, the Bullpups walked into the locker room victors. The cowbells were ringing and the maroon banners were waving as State had secured itself its first bowl bid in a geological era.
The next morning, my hangover was interrupted with a text message: "THEY FIRED O!"
"Fuck," I thought. They obviously didn't have a plan when they fired Cutcliffe, so I naturally thought there was not going to be a plan this go around. I figured we would get some "tenet-of-college-football-GURU" once again and be just as awful as before.
Well Pete, you proved me wrong. You went out and hired the most legitimate SEC coach we've had since Tommy Tuberville. Houston Nutt, while a bit harebrained, isn't nearly the comic book character O was. Even despite his random bouts with the crazies, the sonofabitch beat a #1 ranked LSU team IN BATON ROUGE!
Yes, prospects do look good for the future of Ole Miss football and all of it comes just in time for me to graduate and leave Oxford...

So, in conclusion, Thank's Pete. As the Athletic Director it is your responsibility to maintain (err, establish?) a high level of entertaining athletics for all Ole Miss students, alumni, and fans to enjoy. While not necessarily "competitive," I cannot deny that all of the embarrassment and ridicule one feels and receives as an Ole Miss fan has reached an entertaining level. Yeah, I was upset and downright angry for awhile, but now it's almost like you've maintained a very well put together running gag. My four undergraduate years at Ole Miss are likely to be recognized as some of the worst four years in the program's history and for that I am forever grateful.

Yours sincerely,
The Ghost of Jay Cutler

P.S. - I'll see you in Hell.