Jamar Hornsby Arrested

Well dammit.

I wanted to give the guy a chance. After hearing all about the Florida credit card scandal and his subsequent dismissal from the Gator squad, I thought that perhaps Hornsby was just a stupid kid who got caught in a bad situation. No, I didn't think him to be malicious or an overt troublemaker, just careless and lacking of foresight.

I don't so much think that anymore.

Jamar, what in the hell were you doing in Starkville? Were you looking to purchase cheese (you can do that online now, dawg)? Were you looking for some of that sticky kush? I just don't get it.

And anyway, regardless of the reason for your visit to the "jewel" of Oktibbeha County, what made you think starting trouble there would end in a fashion other than "very poorly?" Do you think the cops in fucking STARKVILLE will respond nicely to "hey I'm a highly rated newcomer to the Ole Miss Rebel football team who was/is expected to contribute to the team this fall who decided to visit your fair hamlet to beat up a guy and steal some shit?" I mean, wow...

"Innocent until proven guilty" and all of that stuff, yeah, sure whatever. But still. You're on the All-Perriloux team now, Jamar. Enjoy it.

Oh, Cup fans, click that link above for the Clarion Ledger story if you haven't already. Peruse the comments if you've got low enough blood pressure to survive it. State fans are just as obsessed with Ole Miss as ever.

Introducing the All-Perrilloux Team!

To pass time over the Summer, The Cup will be documenting the inevitable slip-ups and mishaps of our conference's football stars. This shouldn't be too tough because, as we all know, the SEC is rife with interesting, daring souls. After pondering as to how one should document the, umm, accomplishments of our student-athletes, I decided that an exciting SEC offseason should be able to fill a starting lineup consisting entirely of criminals.

Thus, the All-Perriloux Team was born. In a way, this will be like EDSBS' Fulmer Cup except for being conference specific and devoid of any "competition."

Why the "All-Perriloux" team?

Did you seriously just ask that? Eesh, well, alright... As a highly-recruited offensive starter for one of the conference's strongest programs, Ryan Perrilloux had everything one could look for in a Southeastern Conference ruffian. When considering his problems with weed, counterfeiting money, weed, screaming at people in strip clubs, weed, fighting people to defend the honor of his pregnant girlfriend, weed, skipping team meetings, weed, and parking violations, it becomes apparent that no other person could lend their name to such a prestigious organization.

To be a part of this team, a player must meet two simple criteria:

• Be on an SEC team
• Get caught doing something illegal (no prosecution necessary!) ED: during the 2009 offseason

Innocent until proven guilty? Who came up with that bullshit!? Anyway, below the pretty poor totally badass MSPaint drawing you'll see the foundation upon which this all-netherworldly team will be built. Presenting:


OFFENSE
QB - Arkansas' Ryan Mallett for gettin' dranked in public
HB -
WR -
WR -
WR -
OL - Florida's Carl Johnson for stalking and raping
OL -
OL -
OL -
OL -
TE -

DEFENSE
DT -
DT -
DE -
DE -
LB -
LB -
LB -
CB - Mississippi State's Maurice Langston for slangin' herb
CB -
S -
S -

SPECIAL TEAMS
K -
P -


If you've got any submissions to the team, send them in.