Huertas, White Honored by League Coaches

Terrico White and David Huertas are members of this year's All-SEC Team (second-stringers, but who's counting?), and White was selected as the freshman of the year and one of three unanimous selections to the All-Freshman Team.

The release from the league indicates that each team, except the all-defensive team, had eight players on it - which takes a little of the honor out of being the sixth-man of the year, I suppose. Feel free to offer your dissenting opinions or contradictory observations, but it seems silly to me to expand the all-league teams to eight. This expansion means that five of the first teamers were unanimous selections.

Georgia has all the shame. With just one selection - Trey Thompkins is a member of the freshman team - has not as much reason for optimism as their congratulatory release will likely indicate.

In the SEC Coach of the Year race, Trent Johnson was able to edge out Billy Gilli ... Gilli ... Gilletmejustdiebeforeimissthetournament as SEC Coach of the Year. Upon winning, basically by default, Johnson said, "Someone please remind me why I left Palo Alto to coach in the Sun Belt Conference?"

For their outstanding valor in being so awarded, and because we at the Cup bestow the distinction of "Rebel of the Week" irregularly and have space on the rolls - Huertas and White are, even on Tuesday, proclaimed the preeminent Rebels of the seven-day period beginning Sunday and concluding Saturday.
Justified.

Hi. My name is Peria... We've met before.

"Now, please, get the fuck out of my way."

Click here to see Peria Jerry ruin Herman "The House" Johnson of LSU at the NFL Senior Bowl practice. While the NFL Network commentators verbally fellate the LSU guard and really only mention Jerry in passing, it's still a pretty fun video. If you look through the other videos you'll be able to catch glimpses of Mike Oher and Ashlee Palmer along with Jerry. If you've got time to kill, go for it.


HT: VanillaFace

SEC West Grades

The grades are in. All over the SEC blogosphere, our seasons are being commented on and criticized and it's about time for the Red [REDACTED] Cup to jump in. The SEC West is today and the SEC East will come sometime after the BCS Championship Game.

Alabama: A

Nobody expected Alabama to go 12-0. Nobody. You Tiders all clamored on and on about how "Bama was BACK" and "motherfucking roll motherfucking TAHD" but we didn't listen.

"John Parker Wilson is still your quarterback, remember?"

"You really think a freshman wide receiver makes that much of a difference?"

"Haven't you been 'back' every preseason for the last few years now?"

Well, kudos, Bama fans. While a roster made up of mostly paraplegics and small children would have garnered a 12-0 prediction from a slew of your faithful, you've still earned your due credit. The lack of a plus to accompany your "A" is obviously due to your losses in the SEC Championship Game and Sugar Bowl. Thanks for pouring more gasoline on the already trite "OMFG teh BCS suxx" fire and giving people reason to badmouth the SEC, jackasses.

Next season should see some dropoff for the Tide as they lose two All-American offensive linemen and their three-year starter at quarterback. However, despite these losses, Alabama will be favored by many to win the West once more.

Ole Miss: A-

Obviously, I'm a homer. Pointing that out in the comments would be akin to letting everyone here know that the sun will rise over the eastern horizon tomorrow morning. Save us all the time.

Ok, now, on with the explanation: based primarily on preseason expectations and how well they stack up against the season's actual results, it's hard to give Ole Miss a lower grade. While the losses to Wake Forest, Vanderbilt, and South Carolina still make my head asplode, the six-straight victories to end the season (with each victory literally being more impressive than the previous) made it clear to everyone that this Rebel season was a work in progress. The Rebels who won the Cotton Bowl would certainly defeat Wake Forest, Vandy, and South Carolina on any field, neutral or not. They'd hang tough with Alabama and, as ironic as it may be, more than likely lose to Florida.

Remember? Tebow, tears, "won't lose again," etc? Ole Miss is the reason the SEC will take home it's third BCS title in a row.

This is a good Ole Miss team. Hopefully the success to end this season can be used as momentum into the upcoming season. Double-digit regular season wins should be attainable for the 2009 Rebel squad.

LSU: C+

The Tigers should not have lost five games. While a close loss to Bama is respectable, being on the receiving end of a Georgia Bulldog blowout isn't. Jarrett Lee proved to be one of the conferences most successful touchdown passers but, unfortunately, he wasn't very discriminatory as to whose team was scoring the touchdown. Jordan Jefferson looked much better towards the end of the season and the mudhole-stomping defeat of Georgia Tech in the Peach (Chik-Fil-A, I love you, but don't mess with our bowls) Bowl should give LSU hope for a win or two more next season. Also, former Volunteer John Chavis should have LSU's relatively weak 2008 defense in much better shape for 2009.

Arkansas: C-

When the season began, everybody was pretty sure that you were going to suck. Thank you for not disappointing.

Arkansas' season was, in many ways, akin to Ole Miss'. They started poorly, nearly losing to directional-Illindianachigan or something like that and ULM but finished on a somewhat strong note by defeating LSU on a neutral site. Over the course of the season, Arkansas' offense became one of the SEC's best, with Casey Dick putting up respectable numbers and Michael Smith earning ALL-Sec honors at tailback.

But why a "C?" Well, as I said before, nobody expected much out of the Hogs this season and, if Ryan Mallett can be the quarterback the Fayetteville wacky-asses Faithful hope for Arkansas should be much improved next season.

Mississippi State: F+

Thank God for this season. I was getting incredibly fed up with folks in Starkville talking about how "Nutt'n good happens in Oxford" and how Croom was somehow going to win them an SEC title.

We at the Cup have been saying for quite a while that Sly Croom wasn't much of a coach and, finally, the world realized the clarity of our truth. His Gulf Coast offense continued to put up paltry numbers and his defense failed to force turnovers.

Their F gets a plus because they did beat a top-25 team in Vanderbilt, knocking them off of their wacky hotstreak, and earned a much less impressive win over Arkansas. The jury is still out on Dan Mullen as far as gameday coaching is concerned, but he's done a fair job keeping most of the talent Croom had recruited for this upcoming class.

Auburn: If the analogy lent to the use of letters past F, one of them would apply here

Hiring Tony Franklin, only to have him fired before the season's end because Kodi Burns isn't all he's been cracked up to be, really set the stage for the debacle of Auburn's head coaching search. Tommy Tuberville has been disliked by the GOB's in charge on the Plains for quite some time now (remember that whole Bobby Petrino fiasco a few years ago?) and, once both parties were equally fed up with one another, they finally were able to part ways.

Both of these coaching situations made it apparent to coaches across America that if you can't deliver on exorbitantly outrageous goals set forth by a group of bitter, old white guys you won't last long at Auburn, nor will you enjoy your time there. If that weren't the case, they would have hired someone just a hair better than the worst coach in the Big XII.

Hey, at least Arkansas fans have convinced themselves that you're going to soon be badass! Granted, it really has nothing to do with your players, school, or coaches outside of Gus Malzhan but, in times like these, you'll take what you can get.

Auburn could win anywhere from 4 to 8 games next season for two reasons: they're Auburn, and they're Auburn. The situation there is so messy that it's incredibly difficult to prognosticate but they've got the talent on both sides of the ball to make some things happen.

YAW YAW YAW YAW Ed O's a Corndog!

I know it has been rumored for awhile now, but it appears official that the Hurricane known as the Orgeron shall be coming in on a swamp boat nearest you to Baton Rouge.

The Shrimp Captain's longtime friend, Bob Hebert, reported that he would be shocked if the Incredible Hulk did not take the job. Unfortunately, Bob's son T-Bob did not have a comment in the article.

Another interesting bit of tid is that St. Ed is set to make only 200,000 less than his salary here in Oxford and Hebert thinks LSU will pay him in the 600,000 range because they want to take care of him like only JoJo knows how.

Recruiting is not a problem at LSU and I think The Ogre is honestly overrated as a defensive line coach. I do not understand this hire or Chavis. Go ask Tennessee fans what they think of Chavis. I think Chavis may have one of the worst third and long efficiency ratings in the SEC.

Miles could be going the way of Larry Coker soon.

SEC Power Poll All-SEC Team: Rahim Alem

This is the best photo I could find of the guy.

Rahim Alem, the second defensive end on the inaugural SEC Power Poll All-SEC team, has been a phenomenal defensive force for the Bayou Bengals this season. The Junior out of New Orleans tallied eight sacks, seven quarterback hurries, two forced fumbles, a pair of pass deflections, and a blocked kick.

However, despite these successes, I will most vividly remember Rahim Alem for a very brief and inconsequential moment of moronic douchedom. Do you remember how, just before Snead took the final knee in Death Valley, he thought it cute to jump offsides and rough-up Mike Oher a little bit? Yeah, that was lame.

And stupid; who in the hell lines up against Michael Oher and thinks, "you know, I'd like to do my best to anger this hairless Yeti standing accross from me" and then actually follows through with it? It's a good thing for Mr. Alem that the game was winding down because that could have ended very, very poorly.

Watch it, Rahim.

Alright, so I'm biased. What else do you expect from an Ole Miss blog?

In all seriousness though, congratulations are in order for LSU and Rahim Alem for his selection to the SEC Power Poll All-SEC team. We're bloggers, dammit. We know what we're doing here and this should be taken as an honor of the highest caliber.


Up next: the SEC blogosphere's selection as our conferences best defensive tackles.

Season Recap: Photos and Haikus

Memphis, city of
I beg you, leave our fair town
Don't ever come back


Wake got the ball last
Dex threw an interception
Lewis missed the sack


We played hungover
And still won by 21
That guy's knee is fucked

Four interceptions?
Seriously, Mr. Snead!?
This one is on you


Holy fucking shit!
UF may win BCS
You're welcome, Timmy!


Lack of dicipline
Exposed our secondary
Goalline fumbles!? DEX!


Had a bad 1st half
Bama had a bad 2nd
Tweaked Mt. cody's knee


Season's turning point
Arkansas fans are crazy;
That was OPI


Jevan started slow,
Auburn's offense was limp-dicked
See ya, Tuberville!


No one saw this game
We made up a fake weblog
SQUAWK EM HAWK EM REBS!


Fuck you, LSU
That shit was way overdue
We earned ugly prize


We brought the egg home
Many happy returns, Dawgs!
Oh no! They fired CroomS!

That was a pretty kickass way to waste time at the office, if I must say so myself. If you've got any other haikus you'd like to share please do. Oh, and to whoever took these photos, shoot us an email so we can give you due credit (omg plz plz let us use them kthxbai).

EDIT: The photo of Billy Tapp juking some guy is pretty damned badass. That's definitely the highlight of his *ahem* illustrious football career at Ole Miss. Thank you for everything, Billy.

Now THIS Is Just Adorable

Get ready, Tiger fans. You're going to want to start rooting for the Rebels.

Because down in Death Valley, they've figured out that a Rebel trip to Orlando, is the only chance they've got at Dallas.

Tell 'em 'bout it, JoJo:

"The key is if the Capital One Bowl in Orlando takes Cotton Bowl target Ole Miss instead of Georgia, which it has been courting for weeks. But on Saturday, BCS No. 11 Georgia was upset by BCS No. 22 Georgia Tech, 45-42, and fell to No. 16 in the BCS and to 9-3 on the season with its second loss in four games ... If Ole Miss does go to the Capital One, the Outback Bowl in Tampa is then expected to take Georgia out of the SEC East, leaving the Cotton Bowl no choice but to take 7-5 LSU out of the SEC West."

I've decided that there may be no more satisfying piece of journalism composed since the dawn of man than that which recognizes the dim and dreary reality that Les Miles and LSU would be "chosen" because there was, literally, no one else.

While part of me want LSU to be left out of its most desired bowl location, I cannot dispel the schadenfreude that would most certainly result from watching the Tigers' suddenly non-existent defense being eaten alive bite by bite by good ol' Graham and the Lubbuccaneers, leaving Les Miles feeling rather like the victim of those wicked freaking ants from the new Indiana Jones movie.

Post Game: LSU

I have no desire to analyze this game. None. The weekend we experienced in Baton Rogue was a masterpiece. Perfection. Never have I had more fun at a sporting event, and never have I felt more proud of the collective effort of a team of Ole Miss Rebels. For the first time in an untold number of years, we are good at football for reasons not named Manning. Weird. To couple with my lack of desire to analyze this game, I am equally unqualified to do so. I was drunk as hell, and sitting at a low angle, in the Ole Miss section of the endzone, behind a sousaphone. So though I can tell you how weird the whole city smelled, how awesome the jambalaya tasted, and how elated the players looked while directing From Dixie With Love after the game, if you saw it on TV, you saw far more than I did. That being said, for many of the same reasons above, I am WAY cooler than you for having been there and experienced firsthand the most glorious ass-kicking I have ever vicariously been a part of. So that's the story I'll tell.

We spent Friday night in the small Burg of Hattie, home of LSU's non-accredited western campus for theater majors and other people with hair gel. JUCO, Tower, OneMan, yours truly, and three other non-important compatriots ventured RedStickward bright and early that morning, anticipating stifling game day traffic, of which there was surprisingly little. Turns out that cities of over 230,000 can hold up to an influx of SEC visitors better than our fair hamlet of 10,000 townies.

On the highway, we saw (and were subsequently jeered at by) a modified school bus with the back roof removed to reveal 2 dozen or so purple-clad pre-gamers. When we got closer to town, our brave driver, in his preoccupation with glaring and waving his middle finger around, almost had a wreck or three as traffic stopped and started, causing an SUV full of LSU guys to mockingly slam on their brakes and make scaredy faces at us. Well played, guys. It was all in good fun, but at the same time, it was officially on. Before we got out of the car. We wove through traffic, parked at an LSU friend's apartment (thanks), finished off our 22oz bottles of Blue Moon (A great invention, or the greatest invention? You decide.), and struck out to find some more crunk juice.

And find it we did. At least I did. Before we left the apartment, two stout screwdrivers (as stout as something with OJ can be, anyways), a pint of Wild Turkey, and something else I don't remember, all came to party with the beer already in my bloodstream. I grabbed a to-go cup, and thusly marched towards the epicenter of all Cajun-dom: Tiger Stadium.

Tiger Bait. Yes, we heard you the first forty-two times. Tiger Bait. You almost lost to Troy. Tiger Bait. Georgia hung 50 on you. Tiger Bait. So did Florida. Tiger Bait. You smell funny. Tiger Bait. You dress like a 10 year old. Tiger Bait... ENOUGH ALREADY. It was at this point that I made the rapid transition, in the estimation of my colleagues, from: the Affable Companion with the Likable Sense of Humor, Lovable Quirks, and a Heart of Gold to: the Fucking Drunk Asshole who is Going to Get our Asses Kicked. I don't remember with exact clarity all that I said or did, but suffice it to say that most of it was vulgar, loud, sometimes clever, more often mean-spirited, and within spittin' distance of many, many LSU fans. My Whiskey Wednesday Quasi-weekly Awesomest Drunk Guy in my General Vicinity Award goes to me. Hands down. No complaining. For the most part though, people realized that I was harmless, and all shit-talk was good natured. Of that I am appreciative, make no mistake, ArTiger and friends. So I got to the stadium safely. As for the game...

We kicked LSU's ass. For sixty minutes. In all three phases of the game. No doubt in mind. The only people who thought the game was close were the Rebel faithful themselves, who aren't accustomed to such a feeling. Dominance? Of an SEC team? In football? Well ok, if you insist, Houston.

But you already knew the result of the game. What I'm here to tell you is that if you felt irrationally giddy, like something in your life had been fulfilled or re-affirmed: you weren't alone. The elation in the players, coaches, fans, and band was palpable and amazing after the game. LSU fans had retreated back to the swamps, and left us to celebrate in their vast government-funded hell-hole from which few escape, and fewer emerge convincingly victorious. Ahlee Palmer hoisted the Magnolia Trophy while Powe, Allen Walker, and others directed the band. It was amazing. I can't talk. The beer and pizza that night tasted incredibly sweet and delicious. The sketchy hotel sheets felt inviting and warm. The drive home was blissful and comfortable. All was well, all was right and beautiful. I couldn't watch the replays on TV frequently enough, but watching on TV was somehow still terribly unsatisfying in comparison with the way the stadium atmosphere did funny things to your stomach and to the hairs on your neck. If I ever feel that good after a win again, it will surely be a special day. Thanks Rebs, thanks to the gracious (???) LSU fans, and to the die-hard Rebs that came down and yelled their vocals into oblivion Thanks Houston, Peria, Dexter, all the players who spurned LSU to come to UM... It was a hell of a weekend. Please feel free to add any good stories from this weekend below. For me, I am done. Hotty Toddy, and goodnight.

Oh the Look on Les' Face

If you've got your own caption or speech bubbles, go for it.

An Open Letter to the LSU OL

To the most esteemed Louisiana State University Offensive Line,

And so it came to pass, when the Archduke of Sackenstein made an end of corresponding with one John Parker Wilson, that much praise and exaltation was thrust upon him for his skillful and virtuous prose. Upon observing this, I have concluded that, as a scribe of the highest order and dexterity, my desire to engage in fruitful intercommunication should be fully realized. Thus, shouldst thou will to critique mine own manner of parlance, prithee, do keep thine own tongue faithfull to the manner of speaking of thy forebearers.

Ah, young Tigers, for thine is the glory of the Southeastern Conference's Western Division when strictly speaking in a sense of recent tradition. However, lest you not be decieved by my words, let it be known that for in this season the Crimson Tide of the University of Alabama has risen to lofty heights just below that of their supporters and colleague's wildest most mundane of dreams.

Yet and so, whilst sitting on the verge of another early December spent at a fair distance from the Divine Kingdom of Atlanta, my Rebellious legion and I must fight for something other than the right to loftily fly victory banners over our stronghold. Nay, we Rebels will fight for something which is far less glorious yet nearly as pride inducing: a consolation banner.

"Lo, here be the realm of the second most victorious football legion in the Southeastern Conference's Western Division during the 2008th year of our Lord."

The beauty of said imagined banner brings a tear to the mind's eye.

My desire to obtain this prize and to bring my rebellious legion to heights deemed impossible nearly one annum ago has become insatiable. My, nay, our quest must be successful. Our goal must be reached. And, as pitifully unfortunate as it may be, thou standest accross our path. Thy charitable leader and gaudily crowned king will not find the capabilities necessary to halt our destiny. Despite your anticipations or most hopeful desires, thou shalt be vanquished.

Lo, how fate hast collided our paths. This upcoming Saturday, upon the Sun's falling and as the blackness of nightfall washes over our realm, ye shall taste the most shameful and bitterest of defeats whilst I, along with my colleagues, hoist high thy floral phallus for which we have bargained.

Invoke thy aid to my adventurous quest, that as my middle finger intends to soar bove the Louisianian mount, whyle I attempt things unattempted yet in prose, rhyme, or football.

Vis-a-vis, ergo, concordently and respectfully with nothing but my sincerest regards and sympathies,

Lord Jerrel Pöwe, Earl of Nomnom, Baron of Hoverround

Post scriptum - HAHA Y'all mawfukkas smell like a Goddamn county fair! OOH-WEE! Pass da murrstard cuz dey some corndog sons-a-bitchs here! SCOOT SCOOT MOTHERFUCKER!

LSU HATE WEEK - YouTube the fourth (special "hate" edition)

Ole Miss is the racism whipping-boy of the SEC. LSU fans are quick to mention things like our confederate imagery, difficult integration (which happened two years before theirs) , and our by-gone mascot while completely ignoring shit like this:

Keep it classy, LSU.

Are we LSU's rival?

The short answer is, of course, yes.





The long answer is as follows:

"I mean, Ole Miss isn't really our rival."

"Ha Ole PI-YUSS thinks were there Rival haha taht's dumb LOL!"

How often have you heard or seen that? A few of my good friends who are either LSU students or alumni have even spouted off that nonsense. They argue that since we haven't been incredibly competitive in the series since the turn of the century that the annual matchup doesn't deserve the "rivalry" monniker anymore. Well, LSU, I guess that Tulane isn't a rival of yours anymore. I guess Alabama can no longer be Auburn's rival after Tubs snatched 6 in a row from them. I guess Florida should then considered one of our major rivals being as how the Ole Miss/Florida series has literally been the single most competitive SEC series since 2000.

What a crock. A rivalry is not determined by what has happened over the last few seasons. Only a short-sighted buffoon would suggest such a thing. Rivalries are age-old and develop over long periods of time. Rivalries, in a bizarre way, are like family in that you, in your present state, cannot just pick and choose who-is-what all willy-nilly like. Rivalries existed before you, and they'll be there after you're dead.

"Oh but Alabama has Saban and Auburn is good and we play Florida every season(eaux)."

All true statements, but I don't see your student body designing any phallic trophies for those games. The fact that LSU, not Ole Miss, thought up this Magnolia Bowl bullshit is more than enough proof that the Ole Miss/LSU rivalry is not a one-way street leaving Oxford.

You play the Billy Cannon punt return on your jumbotron before home games.

Your fans wear "Go to Hell Ole Miss" buttons to games which don't even feature Ole Miss.

You write crap like this (and post it on a Pittsburgh Steelers forum?)

Heck, our rivalry even extends beyond the gridiron onto the hardwood and diamond. I'm sure you remember Clarence Sanders knocking down the long two over Big Baby to seal the deal two seasons ago and I know you haven't forgotten about getting mercy-ruled out of Hoover by the very coach who you attempted (and failed) to hire away from us.

Don't pretend like there isn't an age old tradition of hating Ole Miss down on the bayou. You love to hate us and, guess what, we love to hate you too.


EDIT: Your jackass coach even seems to think we're rivals.

LSU Q&A

This week's blogger Q&A is with a blog that we didn't make up. I promise. Pelican State Sports is an LSU blog. Really. Anyway, they have our answers up over there. Here are their answers to our questions.

1. Is Les Miles the right coach to keep you at a national championship caliber level? If so, what do you like about him? If not, what is his downfall, and who would you like to replace him with?

After some thought caused by the cleverly worded question, I have to say yes. Much as been made of Les' strange calls at times, his crazy hat style, his antics, and his apparent stupidity. But the numbers don't lie: 41-9 so far, 3-0 in bowls (all three blowout victories, by the way), and a national championship, albeit with two losses. Granted, if you talk to "football" people, they will tell you that a certain other SEC West coach is a better coach, but Les has shown the ability to maintain a level of excellence. Imagine: this is the worst year of his tenure and the team is 7-3, and pushed #1 Alabama to overtime. Just about any team in the SEC, with the possible exception of Florida, would trade places with LSU during Les' tenure, and as long as he continues to recruit well–this year's class is shaping up as a top-fiver–I see no reason why he cannot maintain a high level of competitiveness.

Secondly, whatever else Les is, he is a fun coach to have on your sideline. He runs more fake fg's, punts, and trick plays than anyone else in college football. He lets his players audible to fake punts from their own end zone, as he did in 2005 at Arizona State. In other words, he plays football like I do when I am on playstation, and it makes his teams incredibly fun to watch.

Finally, during his tenure, Les has, in my opinion, outooached Larry Coker, Tommy Tuberville, Philip Fulmer, Steve Spurrier, Charlie Weis, Urban Meyer and Jim Tressel in individual games. Some of those coaches (looking at you Weis and Fulmer) are overrated, but others (here's to you Spurrier and Tressel) are the very top of the coaching heap. And yes, at times he has been outcoached. But more often than not, his teams come up big. As I said in the first paragraph: regardless of what one thinks of his personality, just about every team in the SEC and the country would take his record right now.

2. We all know about Jarrett Lee's struggles this season. Can you explain the pick sixes though? Having not seen many of your games, I would guess that the offense is sluggish when he throws a pick and just doesn't respond well. Is it that, or is he just throwing them to corners with nothing but green in front of them?

Ugh. Its a combination. Just off the top of my head, it seems that when he misses a throw, he misses it by a wide margin and defensive players get the ball with room to make something happen. And they do. Combine that with some player frustration and that could lead to a lack of effort on some players' part to make a play on the defensive player with the ball.

3. In the comeback win over Troy, it seems like the first three quarters provided a blueprint for teams trying to beat you. When Troy was 4 or 5 wide on offense and stacking the box on defense, they tore you apart. What adjustments did you make to stop them in the fourth quarter, and what happened to your offense then?

Full disclosure - I chose not to watch the Troy game. I went to the movies. But from what I have read and seen, LSU woke up a bit, and started playing like the game mattered. Regardless, going 4-5 wides on offense is a good way to get an advantage on LSU because of an inexperienced and at times ineffective secondary. Good teams have found a way to isolate certain players, especically Danny McRay, on receivers and take advantage of his weak cover skills.

Defensively, with LSU timid about throwing the ball, stacking the box is a good tactic against Charles Scott. The LSU offensive line, huge and experienced, has been a big let-down this year, and has been unable to dominate the line-of-scrimmage like they should have in games like that. Teams have been effective doing exactly what Troy did.

4. We all hate to think about Billy Cannon, who will be honored this weekend. Name the one player on your team (other than Trindon Holliday) who could make a last second play to give you the victory. Go into detail about what makes this player special.

This one is pretty easy: Demetrius Byrd. He is a good candidate for this answer because he has done it in the past, notably against Auburn last year with one second to go on the clock. He is a big receiver, at 6'3" and 200 pounds, but his biggest weapon is his speed. He is incredibly fast. And while Bradon Lafell has become more of a go-to receiver this year in the LSU offense, Byrd is still their best big play threat from anywhere on the field.

5. What's your prediction on the game? Give me specifics about how it will happen.

As I mentioned in my questions, I fear Nutt above all others. He really really scares me every year, and I was very much pulling for him to leave the division when he left Arkansas. Of course, that was crushed about two seconds after he left, when he showed up in Oxford. But I don't fear him enough to pick a Rebel win. I think LSU can gut this one out. There are, of course, all of the requisite stories coming out of Baton Rouge about how Jarrett Lee "turned a corner" against Troy, with the obvious implication that now he will be a consistently better quarterback. I don't believe it. What that boy needs more than anything is an offseason. So I don't expect the LSU offense to come out and look like the 94 Cowboys at all.

What I do expect is Ole Miss to take a lead in the first half, maybe 10-0 or so, and LSU to get a field goal or maybe even a touchdown before half. Then I expect LSU to come out strong in the second half, grab the lead, and then have to fend off a fierce Rebel charge (sounds like I am describing Gettysburg or something) and hold on like mad for the win, something in the 27-24 variety.

i can haz anuther stoopid t-shurt

Get ready to berate your fellow fans, because you know this crap is just around the corner.

LSU HATE WEEK - YouTube numero dos

If you'll recall, a while back I wrote a post with a slew of YouTubes which showed LSU fans in their typical insanely douchey douchedom. There were grown men doing Da SoUlJa BoI(!!1), a guy too drunk to stand, and a coonass sliding head first into a table. The shot, if you'll recall, was taken from about 40 feet away. Well, faithful Cup fans, bask in the glory of this extended version of that same incident from a mere 6 ot 7 feet away.


BOOM! Headshot

What a great sound... ker-CLACK!

And what an appropriate allegory to this upcoming Saturday! The Tigers are going to slide along along their bellies (as they maybe-not-really-kinda-sorta have been doing all season long) until up pops our Rebels like the end of a table! I also imagine that, if he even gets a chance to play, Jarrett Lee will end up writhing on the ground in pain like our video's star after his meeting with Jerry, Locket, and Powe LLP.

Oh, and you know he's super-duper-way-out-in-orbit fucked if Hardy doesn't forget his magic shoes.

Daily Reveille Exposes Red Stick Fans

This just in from LSU's The Daily Reveille:

LSU Fans are douches.

The entirety of the hard-hitting, investigative journalism is here, but this snippet gives you the general idea:

Last weekend was one of the most surreal experiences of my life, and I’m not talking about the football team’s heartbreaking loss to Alabama.

I’m talking about the hours I spent around campus tailgating — but not as a regular Tiger.

For this game, a fellow staffer and I, armed with a video camera and microphone, ditched our normal attire, threw on crimson-and-white sweatshirts and walked through campus to see what it would be like behind enemy lines.

And...

“Rip. Rip. Rip. Rap. Rap. Rap. You ‘Bama girls got the clap, clap, clap!”

And...

[T]he amount of times we were spit on also struck a nerve.

Without dwelling on the satisfaction derived from a journalistic acknowledgment of LSU's lewdness or the irony of Tiger fans deriding the (perceived) women of Tuscaloosa for their sexually transmitted diseases (Pot, kettle, and all), I should just note that both the character of Tiger fans and their lack of literary skill ensure the remoteness of the possibility that the final plea of The Reveille's article...

[M]aybe we need to tone it down — just a bit.

...will in any way be heeded.

I'm Not Happy About This Either

The Southeastern Conference has rivalry games that span from the mundane Third Saturday in October and the now-non-existent Cocktail Party to the Tetanused Iron Bowl and the ridiculous Egg Bowl. We trade Golden Boots and Governor's Cup, and, despite Auburn and Georgia's claim, have a boatload of Old Deep South Football Rivalries.

Have we now stooped so low?

Perhaps this is no Platypus Trophy, Illibuck, or Telephone Trophy, but there's something about flowers that betrays a sense of fierce competition.

"Southern Showdown," "Southern Shoot-Out," "Duel Under The Oaks," "Magnolia Classic" or "Magnolia Bowl" were the options presented to the various student bodies for the name of this 97-time meeting. All of the options were fairly non-descript. And, so, I submit to you the name I wrote in when the student body was given the option of voting:

The Battle for Billy Cannon's Heisman

Followers of The Cup need not be taken back to Halloween Night 1959 when the Rebels' perfect season was ended on an 89-yard punt return by that year's Heisman Trophy winner - Running Back Billy Cannon, as the Tigers won 7-3. I was not alive in 1959, much less was I a Heisman balloter, so I cannot make a good judgment about whether or not Cannon's game-winning run sealed his trophy-win. And I need not remind the true faithful in the Order of Vaught that Ole Miss returned the favor on New Year's Day of 1960, blanking LSU 21-0 in the Sugar Bowl.

These two games are the most important in the 114-year history of this rivalry. Halloween was the crowning moment of Billy Cannon's Heisman campaign; New Year's Day knocked the shine of his recent honor.

Now, obviously, we cannot have Billy Cannon's actual Heisman (it's been on loan to T.J.'s Ribs in Baton Rouge since 1986, where Billy Cannon, obviously, eats free). Rather, the universities ought to seek the permission of the Downtown Athletic Club to create a replica. The replica will be placed on a large wooden base, and the results of each game since 1894 would be inscribed onto plates on the base. The interesting wrinkle - instead of the actual score of each game, every Ole Miss win would be indicated by 21-0; every LSU win would be indicated by 7-3, thus honoring the two most important scores in the history of the series.

I know it's over now; sour grapes and all that. Nevertheless, this recent development in tradition suffers from the same top-down imposed enthusiasm that doomed "The Rebel Express," that stupid motorcycle, and the campaign to replace Colonel Reb.

Of course, had there been blogs in 1927, some know-it-all bloggeur like myself might well have sat down to bemoan the stupid new trophy to share with the Cow College down the road that, ridiculously, looked like an egg. They might well have hurled insults at William Hemingway and wondered why out university felt the need to create a trophy game with a team against whom we had, to that point, mustered only five wins, ever.

Then again, the fine students who took it upon themselves to engage in a violent riot after the 1926 exchange between the Flood and the Maroons would never have christened their heated rivalry with LSU after a flower.

LSU HATE WEEK

It's on, LSU. This shit's not funny anymore. We don't give a hell about your damned BCS trophies.* We hate your jackass coach. Purple and yellow are shitty colors. Your fans give us migraines with their extreme 'tardhood.

This isn't a fucking game. It's war.

Here's your song for the day. Expect one every day this week. You need to have a fucking lesson taught to your asses and there's not a better way to do that than through grainy rap videos over the internets.

Heed the advice given, LSU; especially the advice regarding hygiene. Lord knows great deal of your fanbase could use it.

*Seriously though, thanks for taking Ohio State to the shed. No joke here.

Gettin' Dranked: A LSU Tradition

LSU quarterback Jarrett Lee was caught getting his Kobe on during a game of beer pong somewhere down in the Bayou. Nice choice on the Natty Light, Jarrett!


The portly Lee recently led the Tigers past Auburn last weekend and it appears is a few games of beer pong away from becoming the next Pillsbury Throwboy or the best side line interview ever.

Corralling the West, Week 1

We won. You should know this by now. More to come later whenever Whiskey Wednesday shakes off his hangover.

They're also the third best engineering program in all of Louisiana!  You know how a lot of teams like to schedule division II (screw whatever they're called nowadays, that shit is stupid), mid-major, or low-level BCS teams for their opening games?  You know, for a sorta faux-preseason stat-padder to ease the fans and players into the season?  A sure win and what-not?  Well, not so much.  It's ok State, they were the 91st best defense in football last year which, as Wesley Carroll can tell you, is certainly more than enough to make the game competitive.  Coach CroomS has just shown the Bulldog faithful exactly how one earns a raise + contract extension in Starkville.

Not so fast, Hogs.  You're on notice, Arkansas.  Of course, you won and you've gotta get whatever credit is due for that... but Western Illinois?  Seriously?  Would Nutt have trailed them in the 4th quarter with whatever athletes are up in Fayetteville?  But hey, Casey Dick thew the ball 41 times which is exactly what you crazy assholes wanted in the first place, right?

The Big Ten is horrible.  LSU, in a much more roundabout manner, proved this once again last night by downing Appalachian State with an ease that Michigan couldn't.  Michigan, the winningest football team in the HISTORY OF FOOTBALL dropped a season opener again yesterday, this time to the Utah Utes.

It's ok to hate Nick Saban.  Damn you, Bama.  I wanted to you to lose and lose bad but, instead, you showed that you may be a true candidate to represent the West in Atlanta.  I know it's early for these kinds of things, but they seriously shut Clemson down big time and proved that their preseason ranking of 24 wasn't undeserved.  

Speaking of Bama and upset victories.  Auburn beat ULM the way they're supposed to be beaten making the hearts of many a Bama fan weep deep, deep down inside their chest cavity (just past the adipose tissue).