Rebel Roundup: Friday Morning Linkage (EDIT - 2 More!)

Hardy Undergoes Another Foot Surgery - Greg Hardy, emo poet and destroyer of galaxies, will miss Spring practice but should be healthy enough to participate in fall drills after Wednesday's foot surgery. For those of you who may be concerned that Greg is going to miss all of Spring practice, I say don't be. He doesn't need it.

Does "the Curse" Extend that Far? - Our Men's tennis team has been picked to win the SEC by the conference's coaches. The Rebels, ranked #9 in America, earned 7 first place votes out of a possible 11 (I doubt coaches are allowed to vote for their own team). Go get 'em, you Nordic warriors you.

Construction on Baseball Stadium Nearing Completion - So, maybe it'll be done on time after all. The Ernie LaBarge Bullpen Club has a photo gallery of the construction's progress here.

Four More Years! For More Years! - What would a Houston Nutt inaugural address look like? Well, our amigos at Friends of the Program have speculated and, as always, hit the nail on the head. Giggity, indeed.

Tay-B Gets Crunk 25 Days a Week, Suffers Gunshot Wound - Since he's not dead, a lot of folks have been making jokes (if the bullets were footballs he wouldn't have been hurt, etc.) but you've still gotta feel bad for the former Rebel wideout. Godspeed, you tall, fast, concrete-handed squire.

Congress Introduces a bill to Kinda-Sorta Ban the BCS - I mean, they can't "ban" it, but they can prohibit the promotion of the BCS as a method of determining a national championship... maybe. I'm still confused as to how this fits into the Constitutional role of our legislative branch. Hey, Congress, don't you have a GTMO to close or maybe some taxes to raise or some shit? Stay out of our sport you overpaid hacks.

Rebel of the Week: Brittney Reese

Congratulations are in order for Brittney Reese who qualified for the Olympics by placing first in the US long jump qualifiers. Reese will be the sixth Ole Miss athlete to make it to the Olympics for the States.

Another note of interest regarding the Mississippi native is she has recorded the two longest jumps in the world this season. Good luck to Brittney and Congratulations on being RotW.

Sorry, I had nothing funny to say about this.

An Actual National Championship

Anyone looking to make the next savior of Ole Miss, I can suggest someone with whom you might want to procreate.

Ole Miss long-jumper Brittany Reese won herself a National Championship yesterday.

Reese is one of the favorites for the U.S. Olympic Trials in a few weeks, and at 5' 7" she can dunk. How does that make you feel, Chris Warren?

For realz, though, this chick jumped 22 feet, 9 inches, which is the world record. This year, that record has been tied three times - once by some Russian chick, and TWICE by Brittany Reese. So, she pretty much rockzorz.

When asked how she was able to jump so far, the Gulfport native (probably) said, "Because I grew up in Mississippi where we don't have doo-doo tomatoes that give you Salmonella." Go on, girl!

Tar Heel Tennis - What You Need to Know

Let's start with an editorial note:

GOOD GOD! THIS IS THE THIRD TENNIS POST IN A ROW!

But, Friday morning Rebel Nation will continue its most reasonable hope for a national championship in anything (back off, Rifle Girls, what you do is illegal in at least 13 states) against the University of North Carolina Tar Heels. UNC is a different kind of program than Ole Miss - it has Americans. That's plural with an S. Five from North Carolina alone. In fact, the Tar Heels have not one, no, no, not one Nordic tennis player.

Advantage: Ole Miss.

Here's a recipe for success if you ever wanted one: recruit a bunch of Euro-trash who went to high schools like the Norwegian School for Athletics (Erling Tveit's alma mater - it's like Genesis One only without having to pretend that "academics" is the reason people go to school). If you (and by "you" I mean the architect of an athletic program that doesn't make money) absolutely have to have an American, make sure he's black.

Where's the diversity, Tar Heels? You're racism is killing me inside, North Carolina.

It's because of this lack of foresight that the Tar Heels got heeled by Miami in the ACC Tournament. Click the link, and you'll see why I cannot figure out if Miami has a tennis team or a fraternity chapter at a Big Ten school.

If you're looking for actual analysis, UNC boasts the #6 Doubles Team in the country - Taylor Fogleman and Chris Kearney, but Jonas and Erling are ranked #5 and Wellerman and ten Berge are ranked #21, so...Go Rebs! UNC players ranked in the ITA Top 100 include 2 court man Stefan Hardy at #73 and 3 court man Chris Kearney at #91. Ole Miss individuals are Erling Tveit at 22, Matthias Wellerman at 29, Robbye Poole at 56, and Bram ten Berge at 95.

The Rebels, in summary, are deeper than the Tar Heels by almost any measure. For more information on the Rebels click here or click here for notes on North Carolina.

25 Days a Week and I will be going to Tulsa this weekend where nothing less than a personal introduction to the team members' busty European sisters will be satisfactory. I think we will also try to catch the tennis match. We would liveblog, but we aren't sure that Tulsa has progressed beyond tins cans connected by taut string. But, if by some miracle, this system of tubes and wires connects itself to the only state that wishes it were Texas, we'll keep you posted.

Breaking News...

Oxford, MS- An unfortunate off-the-court incident has put a damper on the hopes of the Ole Miss men's tennis team as they head into Friday's Sweet 16 matchup with North Carolina. In a packed press conference, UM coach Billy Chadwick acknowledged rumors of misconduct on the part of at least two of his players: "Jonas Berg and Erling Tveit have both met with me about the incident in question. I have not yet decided on disciplinary action, but a match suspension is certainly a possibility."
With the rumor mill spinning at full tilt, RSC contacted Chadwick early Tuesday afternoon to get the story straight. With unprecedented frankness, a disappointed Chadwick spilled the scoop on the troubled doubles partners:
"As a family, and as a team, we are very upset with the behavior of Jonas and Erling. We are still sorting out all the details of the incident, and I hope that no other players were involved." When prodded for more details, Chadwick was initially reluctant: "All I can say is that both players allegedly attended a house party on Monday evening that stretched well beyond the allotted team curfew of 11:00 PM..."
Hungry for answers, our intrepid RSC reporter was able to pry further into the heart of the story. An unidentified UM tennis staffer was able to provide this tipoff in exchange for his anonymity: (paraphrased)
Berg and Tveit arrived at a house party on College Hill road Monday night, and from approximately 10:45PM to 1:00AM, consumed as many as four Smirnoff Ices ('Smices') each. After this point, they called for a designated driver. Before leaving the premises, they were noted by one partygoer as being 'slightly louder than normal,' and were even rumored to have caroused with or perhaps even cavorted with a female attendee before their driver arrived.

While this incident was the first infraction for Berg, Tveit has been previously disciplined by Chadwick for an inconsistency in ironing his Polo shirts for practice, and for making two B's second semester of his sophomore year.
With the duo's status uncertain, RSC will provide updates as they become available.

More specifically, Scandanavia

As promised by Ivory Tower, I bring more discussion of the Ole Miss SEC Champion tennis team. The Rebs got sweet revenge on Sunday afternoon after a series of unfortunate events led to a loss at home to the Gators in the regular season. The semifinal against the Volunteers of Tennessee deserves little note, as the match went basically as expected (and because it is almost completely overshadowed by the final). The most important point of that match had to be on Court 1 in doubles, where our sixth-ranked duo finally showed up after a streak of less-than-stellar matches with an 8-1 thrashing. This sign of resurgence in the team brought a sense of hope for going all the way.

In the final round, the Rebs expectedly snagged the doubles point, but Florida's absurdly strong singles play provided little comfort (see: wins over Ole Miss earlier in the season and Georgia the day before). At this point, you start counting matches and guessing the optimal/most likely way of winning. Yes, Jonas Berg will smoke his opponent on Court 4 (more on this Swede-nom (that's Swede-phenom) to come). Kalle Norberg can almost certainly be counted on for the third point. Where's that last one we need? Jakob could certainly do it, as could Erling or Robbye (if he's having a good day).

Well, that was about right. Jonas once again finished his match expediently, while Matthias fell on Court 2. Kalle had to fight for our third point but came through as expected. With Robbye in a third set, the final point was likely going to come from Court 1 or 6. Jakob took the second set to a tiebreaker but was beaten out by a matter of minutes by fellow senior Tveit, who clinched the match with a win over the second-ranked, cheating (see third paragraph) Greg Ouellette.

That one match is huge for the Rebels going into Regionals--too often were we winning via the doubles point and courts 4-6 in singles. While a win may in fact be a win, RSC endorses the opinion that greater margins of victory yield much "better" wins. Strong play in the top half of the line-up will make the Rebels an extremely potent force to deal with in contention for a national championship.


The events of Saturday (i.e. the Gators' win over Georgia) posit the question of whether the Rebel squad could have overcome the deep, experienced Bulldog team. Let's check this out analytically, court-for-court, based primarily on Georgia's performance on Saturday. I will apply a loose form of the transitive property in this reasoning, so bear with me.
In singles, Erling still clearly wins on Court 1--based on how well he played and on Ouellette's win the day before. The Rebels likely drop Courts 2 and 3 to the Dogs, but of course take 4. That puts us at 2-2 for those of you keeping score at home. I believe that we would be able to take the last two singles matches for the win, but for the sake of argument, say we split those two. In doubles, Erling and Jonas would have laid the smack down on anyone had they played as they did; and based on a very explicit use of the aforementioned transitive relation, Tucker and Jakob would have taken Court 3 easily to seal the deal. Summary: On Sunday, Ole Miss played well enough to beat just about anyone the NCAA could throw in their way.

Now, the Rebs have a couple of weeks to recuperate before Regionals (which will certainly be hosted in Oxford) and barring an apocalypse, will head to Tulsa for the Finals. [Clarification for baseball fans: In tennis, the Super-Regional stage is skipped in favor of a large equivalent of the College World Series.]

I Should Also Note...

That the Ole Miss Men's Golf Team finished seventh at the SEC Championship Golf Tournament this weekend at St. Simon's Island, Georgia. Warm congratulations to the Fairway Rebs (I just made that up and have NO idea if it works or not). Our best wishes to junior Jesse Spiers, who finished 7th in overall singles. Let's try a little harder next time, Spiers.

Title IX requires, additionally, that I extend congratulations something to the Women's Golf Team for finishing tenth in the Women's Tournament in Loudon, Tennessee this weekend. Dori Carter deserves of tip o' the cup for her Top 5 individual finish in the tournament. She should be congratulated for her excellent golfing skills, as well, for the fact that she just might be attractive. I can't say for sure, but I'm definitely willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Anyway, RSC won't get too hard on the Women's Golf Team. They work at a natural disadvantage since Ole Miss has always been more this than this.

Maybe I'll go watch "The Legend of Baggar Vance" now. Or I might just listen to "Gettin' Jiggy wit' It" over and over for two hours. Six in one hand; half dozen in the other.

The Key to Ole Miss Athletic Success: Western Europe

I assume that 25 Days A Week will have something more substantive for you in the near future, but until he does it falls on me to note that Ole Miss won an SEC Championship in ... something.

Yes! Tennis! I knew it!

Using a roster composed, primarily, of guys he picked up in a techno club Amsterdam, Billy Chadwick has won himself another SEC Title (Men's Tennis won the SEC Tournament in 1997, as well). In a fitting end to the tournament, the Rebs' top-ranked singles player, Erling Tveit (whose name is spelled, honestly, about as phonetically as possible), won his match against some unknown Floridian to suspend play and take the tournament.

So, warm congratulations to the Men's Tennis Team (and also the Women's Team! You did your best! Go Title IX!). Palmer-Salloum (yep, that's the Tennis Complex you've never heard of) will likely play host to regional and super-regional play in the NCAA Tournament. Regionals will be held the weekend of Commencement, which works out well for Erling's parents (two flights from Oslo costs a pretty krone - Norwegian currency, which, according to Google will fetch you about $0.20).

Tennis Update

This weekend, while without apparent sources of sporting excitement in God's Country, finds itself the host of the SEC Tennis Tournament (i.e. one that we can feasibly win). This blogger would certainly be there, were it not being held in the farthest farther major city in Arkansas from Oxford.
The team is almost, if not completely, back at full strength. Bram was actually listed to play this morning but was pulled out in favor of senior Jakob Klaeson just before singles. Perhaps he didn't feel well enough to play; perhaps Chadwick knew that we wouldn't need him to beat Kentucky. Well, we didn't need him, as the Rebs took doubles and then swept the bottom three games for a 4-0 win to take us to the semis against Tennessee.
Of note in the match--Kalle double-goose-egged his opponent on court 5. Jonas took his match with ease also (0,3). Jakob fought hard to clinch the match (7-5,6-2) for the Rebels. Everyone likes to talk about how well he plays in the postseason; I would love to see that manifest itself while Bram is out of the lineup.
On the top two courts, Erling and Matthias dropped their first sets before the match was suspended. They absolutely have to play better against Tennessee and (probably) Georgia if we're to have a chance to win it all. Yeah, winning courts 3-6 will get us through every time, but I'd like to not have to count on that.
There will be more to come as the tournament progresses. For those of you keeping score at home, live updates are available here.