SI Ranks Houston Nutt as the Conference's 4th Best Coach

No, I'm not kidding. Click here. Yessir, Rebel fans, Tom Deinhart of Sports Illustrated (via Rivals.com) thinks Houston Nutt is somewhere between Steve Spurrier and Mark Richt in terms of coaching. So this means that Houston Nutt is a better coach than Les Miles and Bobby "our coach who art in Heaven" Petrino... wow.

Tom, you made a foolish mistake with this one. No, I'm not going to disagree with your rankings or anything. I like the good press.

The foolish mistake was putting your email address at the bottom of your piece. At the time of me discovering it, your rankings were approximately one hour old. By my estimations, you should have somewhere between 6 and 7 thousand emails by now; many from the same Fayetteville public library IP address. May God/Allah/Yaweh have mercy on your soul.

RSC Salutes

With the annual man-boy love-fest of recruiting season finally having drawn to a close, some very interesting storylines emerged in the Southeastern Conference. As always there was the intra-conference bickering - pissfits between Houston Nutt and Nick Saban, between Mark Richt and Urban Meyer, and between Lane Kiffin and, well, everybody. The Right Reverend Nutt got so gall-giggity worked-up that he forgot he was recruiting for a football team and not a sorority, but he's still just ohmigodlikeyallsoexcited!!!1! And all eyes were on Starkville to see how the SEC's only freshman coach would fare on his first signing day. The biggest news, if not the most surprising news, is that which we at RSC really feel like we need to recognize. It is this:

Bobby Petrino dominated the state of Arkansas.

It's tough for a Rebel to admit this clear and unimpeachable evidence of Bobby Petrino's superiority over Houston Nutt, but facts are facts. And it's all right here in black and white: Petrino lassoed in every Arkansan target on the Razorbacks' big board. Every one.

"Oh, yeah, Bobby Petrino is clearly heads and shoulders above Houston. Bobby got every in-state prospect he wanted. Whereas, with Houston, I knew he would always ignore any quarterback who could throw and just sign 25 running backs on the team. One time Houston recruited an armless quarterback, no lie, that was like no where near our target list," Steve Roberts, head coach at Arkansas State, said.

"And, hey, losing on television like Bobby does is better than not being on TV at all."

Charlie Weatherbie, head coach at cross-border rival UL-Monroe, told The Cup that he "thought we had a real good shot at some of those Arkansas prospects, what with the way we really should've beat the hogs, but Petrino just has the lockdown on that state."

"I mean, seriously," Weatherbie continued, "can you think of any Arkansas prospects worth a s**t that Nutt recruited to that school?"

It is his dominance in the talent-rich State of Arkansas that will undoubtedly lead to Bobby Petrino's eventual departure to a more prestigious program placement among the truly great coaches in the history of the SEC, where; a distinction, we must all admit, to which Houston Nutt will never ascend.

Moon Landings Faked, 9/11 an Inside Job, Monk Ratted on by Nutt

Un. Fucking. Believable.

That link will send you to the SEC Rant board of TigerDroppings, one of the most popular SEC message boards on the web. Specifically, the link brings you to a thread which proposes the following scenario:

Marcus Monk, former Houston Nutt coached wideout who spent a brief amount of time on the Chicago Bears roster before returning to Fayetteville to play hoops, was removed from the Razorback basketball team after it was revealed that he had been in violation of certain eligibility rules. Houston Nutt found out and snitched to Andy Kennedy who in turn snitched on Monk.

Wow. Just, wow.

You've done it again, Razorback nation. You've derailed the reason express. What's even more amazing is that each subsequent anti-Nutt allegation is more preposterous than it's predecessor. What's next? Is Houston Nutt hiding Bin Laden? Was Houston Nutt on the grassy knoll? Has Houston Nutt written this badass new book called Diuretics or something?

Look, Houston Nutt had nothing to do with this. Monk was in violation of the rules and he got caught. Yes, it is that simple. I know that it isn't the convenient or fun answer, Arkansas, but it's the most logical. Despite whatever you may think, Houston Nutt has better things to do than investigate the eligibility of his former receivers.

All of the necessary links are within that thread so click away if you've got time. Suffice it to say, this shit is bananas like monkey turds and just about as lofty so peruse at your own risk.

You're not fooling me, Nutt!

Be My Valentine, Houston

Most internet seekers of truth who get their daily fill of The Cup are probably aware that Valentine's Day will be upon us on Saturday. For those who were not yet aware, you are now on notice. For those who were not yet aware and have a girlfriend, you're welcome. For those who were not yet aware and have a boyfriend, I say, "You are welcome here, ma'am," or, in the alternative, "Back away, sir."

While some of us here can occasion the sweet taste of woman, we are uncaring cavemen and, so, were like the web-minority out there - unaware that the annual Day of Love had come upon us.

Until our sources deep inside the athletic department leaked a series of letters received by them. The first of which is reproduced below.

Grinds my Gears

And now, a session that I'm blatantly ripping from Family Guy entitling "Grinds my Gears."

You know what really grinds my gears? The belief that Houston Nutt is incapable of coaching a team that passes.

This belief is usually held by Arkansas fans. These fans said that while Nutt was at Arkansas, he didn't lead a high-powered passing offense. They're right. Matt Jones was not a passer. Neither were Casey Dick or even... MITCH MUSTAIN. Yes that's right. Even Mitch Mustain couldn't pass very well during his freshman year. He completed only 52% of his passes with a whopping 6.8 yards per attempt. TD:INT Ratio? 10:9.

But here's where it gets really interesting. In Houston Nutt's first season at Ole Miss, the Rebels threw the ball only 100 times fewer than the 2008, Petrino-led Razorback squad. That's roughly eight more pass attempts a game by Razorback quarterbacks. Did I mention that we played several games in which Jevan only threw four or five times in the second half because we were up by a million? Arkansas, on the other hand, was obliterated (and thus needed to pass) against Alabama, Texas, Florida and South Carolina, needed come back efforts to overcome Louisiana Monroe, LSU, Western Illinois (who they threw 41 times against), and had to fight back (by passing) to keep it reasonable against Ole Miss and Mississippi State. The Rebels on the other hand, often up by a good bit at half time, rarely threw more than ten passes in the second half. Sure, it may not be flashy, but look at the results.

I guess that Arkansas fans will always have an offense that has a lot of pass attempts if they're always behind. Maybe that's what they want. It certainly makes the numbers look better at the end of the year. "Hey! We passed for 4,300 yards since we were down 30 at every halftime! Awesome!" Well I'll take winning the cotton bowl over 100 more attempts for Jevan Snead.

I guess my points on this issue are twofold:
1. This team passed a good bit.
2. Even if they hadn't, we still won nine games.

One last thing to really get that comment thread going:
Casey Dick's passer ratings in 2006 and 2007 were better than in 2008. Discuss.

Nutt's Thoughts on National Signing Day

Here's an audio clip of Nutt on an Atlanta area sports radio show (HT: ReplayReb) and here's a transcript of his post signing day press conference.

Pssshhh, and they said he couldn't recruit.

Analysis and a new poll (finally) to come later tonight. For now, I'm still trying to wrap my brain around how Ed Orgeron was supposedly the greatest recruiter EVAR after seeing Houston Nutt reel in a class which could perhaps will very easily have a greater impact than O's career-best 2006 class.

Lookin' for some Ole Miss Recruiting News?

You could try your usual sources of Yancy, Neal, or Chase/Ty, but why not try something new? Yes, now you can get your recruiting news from Cletus, Jedidiah, or even Stupid McJackass.

Those are three completely different Razorback message boards containing multiple threads about the Ole Miss program. These threads were not hard to find as all of them were literally on each website's respective first page of listed threads. These postsers are especially focused on our recruiting and recruiting rankings because, if you can't beat 'em on the field, you might as well try to "beat" 'em on the first Wednesday in February.

It seems that the Arkansas Razorbacks have begun to pay more attention to the Ole Miss football program than most Ole Miss fans. When you consider the facts that

A) Most Ole Miss fans really don't follow the program at all
B) Moonshine makes folks angry, bitter, and agressive
C) Methamphetamines cause days-long stints of insomnia

it really isn't too terribly surprising. Ole Miss fans are far too carefree while Arkansas fans are far too obsessive. One group of fans fancy this as some kind of social event, the other equates it to a bloodsport.

The only thing these two groups have in common is that both of them are trying to prove a point. The Arkansas fans are (maybe) trying to prove to everyone outside of NWA that they're not the ones being stupid and that Houston Nutt really is as awful as they say. We Rebels are still trying to prove to everyone in NWA that we don't give a shit about their opinions.

Nope. Not even one shit. Hell, we don't even give a half of a shit.

I guess my biggest beef with all of these message board users is that they're all so self-congratulatory. They're mostly comprised of a bunch of people who are bored at work and, as haters of their own lives, would simply like someone to validate their opinions every half-hour or so.

Talk around the "water cooler" in Little Rock

Will this EVER end?

Season Recap: Photos and Haikus

Memphis, city of
I beg you, leave our fair town
Don't ever come back


Wake got the ball last
Dex threw an interception
Lewis missed the sack


We played hungover
And still won by 21
That guy's knee is fucked

Four interceptions?
Seriously, Mr. Snead!?
This one is on you


Holy fucking shit!
UF may win BCS
You're welcome, Timmy!


Lack of dicipline
Exposed our secondary
Goalline fumbles!? DEX!


Had a bad 1st half
Bama had a bad 2nd
Tweaked Mt. cody's knee


Season's turning point
Arkansas fans are crazy;
That was OPI


Jevan started slow,
Auburn's offense was limp-dicked
See ya, Tuberville!


No one saw this game
We made up a fake weblog
SQUAWK EM HAWK EM REBS!


Fuck you, LSU
That shit was way overdue
We earned ugly prize


We brought the egg home
Many happy returns, Dawgs!
Oh no! They fired CroomS!

That was a pretty kickass way to waste time at the office, if I must say so myself. If you've got any other haikus you'd like to share please do. Oh, and to whoever took these photos, shoot us an email so we can give you due credit (omg plz plz let us use them kthxbai).

EDIT: The photo of Billy Tapp juking some guy is pretty damned badass. That's definitely the highlight of his *ahem* illustrious football career at Ole Miss. Thank you for everything, Billy.

Coach Shibest named Special Teams Coordinator of the year

Deservedly so, I say. Our special teams were atrocious last year. We seemingly always gave our opponents good field position, we couldn't return kicks worth half of a damn, and our kickers underachieved. Now we're kicking touchbacks, successfully running fake punts, and successfully using our placekickers.

The change in special teams has been night and day, if you ask me.

Thanks, Arkansas!

Also, we've been really busy as of late with non-blog stuff. We apologize for not being as lively as of late. We promise to pick it up soon.

I'm a big Ole Miss fan... but damn.

So... apparently, against all odds, Alabama fans are actually CRAZIER than we believed.

I don't want to poke fun at what was obviously a sick, sick thing happening. I mean, two people died. That's just insane. What brings someone to do that? While trying to avoid too much humor, I can't fathom how the conversation went.

LSU fan: Well, y'all won, but we sure did put up a fight.

Bama fan: Bear Bryant would have won by more points over that faggot quarterback y'all have down there.

LSU fan: Take that back, or I'll shoot you.

Bama fan: Too late. BLAM.

I mean, if my everyday life contained the possibility of being shot whenever I insulted someone or felt insulted, I would be dead. Also, I would move.

It's things like this that give the South the reputation it has for its obsessed fans, and in this instance, they're very right. Alabama fans, you may not be crazier than Arkansas fans, but you're close.

TLV #66 - Extra Spooky Edition

The Red [REDACTED] Cup made the front cover of this edition of The Local Voice with our list of Ole Miss-related Halloween costume ideas. Click the image for a PDF or, if you're too lame to read the rest of the articles (wif pikshures!) you can just read our piece below.




Got a Costume? Here are a few last minute ideas for Oxford Rebels... and the bored.

This weekend could easily shape up to be the second greatest weekend of the football season (the Presidential debate coupled with making Timmy Tebow cry cannot possibly be topped). On Saturday, the Rebels will be (realistically, this time!) looking to defeat the Tigers of Auburn and hopefully serve as an agent for the dismissal of Tommy Tuberville. However, before Houston's harrowing hopeful send their foes home with a loss, an electrified Oxford will experience what is likely to be the rowdiest Halloween in years.

I'm certain that all of our loyal readers are looking forward to this potentially unforgettable weekend, save for, of course, those poor and timid souls who have nary a clever costume idea. Well, never far, Cup fans, for we have some suggestions we feel are well within in the budgets of most and, with the right swagger, can be pulled off by almost anyone. Enjoy:


A typical Arkansas fan - Wear a bunch of tacky, red colored stuff while screaming loudly at all of your friends. Tell them how horrible Houston Nutt is, being certain to use incredibly poor grammar. When people continue to ignore you, start whining and rolling violently around on the ground. For this costume to be as realistic as possible, you need to be somewhat irrational; you know, like believing acupuncture is a legitimate medical practice or that the moon landings were staged.

A typical Mississippi State fan - The same as above, except you need to wear maroon instead of red, ring a cowbell, praise the greatness of Croom before bashing Nutt, and be poor(er).

Pete Boone - Wear a blazer with khaki pants and spend most of your night being overly frugal and out of touch. If your buddy needs a drink, tell him that you'll need to raise the necessary funds and it'll take a long, long while. If he would like a Maker's Mark, get him the well whiskey and tell him it's Maker's Mark anyway. I mean, it's not like you owe it to him or anything, right?

Andy Kennedy - This costume looks exactly like the Hitman of video game and cinematic fame, except you need to know more than everyone in your general vicinity about basketball. Also, you must hang out at the Library all night or the costume won't count.

The Ole Miss baseball team - At the beginning of the night, be an absolute baller. Do your damnedest to make new friends, impress whoever it may be that you're courting, and get everyone to praise your excellence. Then, as the night is winding down, do something horribly, horribly disappointing.

Chris Todd/Kodi Burns - Put together this ensemble with fake blood, a tear-stained Auburn jersey, a Peria Jerry-sized footprint on your chest, and a handful of morning-after pills. Walk around all woozy-like while ordering plenty of Appletinis.

Tommy Tuberville - Wear a Clemson baseball cap with an Auburn cap over it. If you're into carpentry, put together a pine box with "3rd time's a charm" printed on it."

Dexter McCluster - Wear a #22 jersey, a dreadlock wig, and some receiver gloves, making sure to dip your gloves in a vat of bacon grease.

Jerrell Powe - If you've got some stilts, incredibly baggy clothes, and a few hundred pounds of unopened bags of sand, you can easily put together a spot on Jerrell Powe costume. Be warned, though; a lot of folks are going to ask you're if you're "that lame-ass monster from Cloverfield."

Tim Tebow's Heisman Hopes - Buy an orange t-shirt. On it, print "I existed before September 27th."

Houston Nutt - Wear a cassock or a robe with a stole. Aqua-net the mess out of your hair. Carry around a mirror so you can be sure to look at yourself in it while saying generally goofy, overly Southern things. You'll look crazy, but people will love you. And deservedly so, simply because you won't be dressed like...

Ed Orgeron - If you're barrel-chested and somewhat incomprehensible, this is the costume for you. Wear a skin-tight New Orleans Saints polo and a coach's headset (only for looks, mind you). Drink a gallon of Red Bull and take a dip in a bathtub of raw shrimp to capture the necessary energy level and smell, respectively.

Arkansas Straw Men - Part 3

Omigah like HaPpY hAlLoWeEn Y'a-wulll!!

Shazzam! The Ghost of Jay Cutler is gettin' ready for what is likely going to be the most bomb-ass weekend this side of Mardi Gras. A good but of us Red [REDACTED] Cuppers are going to be attending a wedding this weekend (one of us is getting married and, no, we're not saying who) and we're going to set a new standard for gettin' dranked. If Memphis is a smoldering pile of ash by Sunday morning, you can blame these assholes right here.

Anywho, if we don't do a whole lotta updatin' over the next couple of days, you'll know why.

Ok, well, having that been said, here's

Arkansas Straw Man Number 3: "Houston Nutt is the Devil... I mean, he porked a weatherlady!"

I would hope an SEC coach could do better...

To cover this, I'm going to use an excerpt from a swap piece we're doing with Razorback Expats which, as a member of the illustrious SEC Power Poll, is a damn great college football blog. No, I'm not bullshittin' ya. It really is a good blog and if you haven't been checking it out on occasion you really should. We were asked about the Houston Dale "honeymoon" and what our true feelings towards Coach Nutt were. Part of my response is below:

Look, we know that he says wacky stuff like "yehaw" and "special" all of the time. We know that he banged a weatherlady (go get 'em, tiger). We know that he's oftentimes self absorbed. We know all of these things. But here's what a lot of you Arkansas fans don't get: we've had fucking batshit motherfucking crazy son of a bitch as a head coach. His name was Ed Orgeron. He had the temperament, body odor, and IQ of a shrimpboat captain. He hated interacting with the fans and media. He bled Red Bull. He was unintelligible. He received counseling for his issues with domestic violence. He was arrested for getting into a bar fight… in Baton Rouge. All of this got him placed on probation from the Athletic Department of the University of MIAMI!

You Hogs love to talk about how horrible Houston Nutt was. Naw, lawya. We know horrible. Trust us. Houston Nutt doesn't hold a candle to Eddie O.

Arkansas fans really think they had it bad with Nutt. He (egads!) fibbed to recruits and (gadzooks!) had an extramarital affair (as if that has anything to do with coaching) and he even would make a goober of himself during press conferences! The horror! The agony!

Arkansas, we have no pity. This motherfucker was our head coach. Capiche? I've said it once before on a comment thread here, and I'll say it again: Arkansas may have had no shoes, but we Rebels had no feet.

And another thing: all of this finger pointing comes from a state that loves Bill Clinton. He can get his knob slobbed in the White House and everyone's all cool, but if a coach bangs a lady from the local news station, you're outraged? I mean, come on Arkansas. I've never seen more obsenely bizarre double standards come from anyone else.

Have a kickass weekend everyone, Rebels and Hogs.

Arkansas Straw Men - Part 2

Part two in my overly verbose series of dismantled Arkansas arguments begiiinnnssss....

NOW!

Arkansas Straw Man Number 2: "Houston Nutt is a despicable person for not putting his full effort into recruiting last season."

Here's an article in the Kansas City star which discusses the recruitment of QB Kale Pick. Pick was once committed to Arkansas, but decommitted after Coach Nutt told him that he and his staff did not have plans on coaching for Arkansas after last season.

Here are the crazies. A great deal of them are pretty gal-durned pissed off at Nutt over this. Some even cry "sabotage!"

Let's take a good look at this situation. To do this, I would like to put together an analogy and then utilize said analogy in an allegory.

Think of Houston Nutt as any old employee at any old firm, business, whatever. He's just a guy who sits in his cubicle all day long working on Excel spreadsheets and (hopefully) visiting The Red [REDACTED] Cup every half hour or so. Now, think of his supervisor as being the collective Arkansas Razorback fan base. I'd say that most could agree with this analogy because, in the end, the fans have the most control over a coach's job security. The fans buy the tickets, donate money to the athletic fund, and cover their whiny little kids in tacky gear from head to toe. They are the lifeblood of any sports program with SEC football being the premier example of this.

Now, imagine this allegorical employee is you. I would like for you to mentally put yourself in this situation. You walk into work one morning, slump down into you seat, and, before you can even pour your first cup of coffee, your supervisor storms angrily into the room and bursts into your cubicle.

"YOU!" Screams your supervisor. "You are the WORST God Damned thing about this place! FUCK YOU!"

"What?!?"

"You fucking heard me! You're the reason this place isn't where my unreasonable expectations would want it to be and I'm going to fucking can your shitty ass as soon as I get the chance!"

He then heads towards his office, but not before stopping at the receptionists desk and hanging a large "COPIERS AND FAX MACHINES DESERVE BETTER-FIRE [insert name]" banner from the ceiling. Never mind your successful quarterly evaluations and the great work you did with that color-copier (Wait, let me guess. "That color-copier was made in Little Rock! It was going to end up in this office regardless!" Right?) because you're done at this place.

You turn around, hang your head in confusion, and begin to contemplate your situation.

Your BlackBerry vibrates. It's a new e-mail detailing a FOIA request for your phone records. "Motherfucker, I've gotta get a new job," you mutter.

Honestly imagine what you would do under these circumstances. Imagine that this same supervisor then expected you to do your job above and beyond your traditional duties. Imagine that he, after being a Goddamn dick, would have the audacity to ask you to enthusiastically bring some new employees in to the organization.

I posit that, under these circumstances, most of us would be looking hard for a new job and, on our way out, we'd likely piss in the break room fridge and/or drop a whoppin' deuce in a filing cabinet.

Why is Houston Nutt somehow different than any of us?

Why, in the eyes of many of us, are coaches elevated to some sort of superhuman moral and ethical plane? Remember, Arkansas fans, you were the ones who gave Nutt hell for supposedly lying to Mitch Mustain and his posse of pussies. Now, you're giving him hell for telling a recruit the truth.... Think about that one.

Some of you do get this. I will recognize that. However a whole lot of you are still caught in that long lasting, Arkansas moonshine-induced high of Razorback fandom.


Marinate, ruminate, and anticipate Arkansas Straw Man 3.

Arkansas Straw Men - Part 1

The "Straw Man Fallacy" is a term used in the context of discourse to represent the deliberate construction of your opponent's argument simply for the purpose of either proving a point or misrepresenting your opponents true position. The name is derived from the idea that, in doing this, one creates a "straw man" which to attack as opposed to his or her opponent. In its most extreme sense, it's a diversion tactic. However, in its most basic sense, it's simply an attempt to make your opponent look foolish.

How have Arkansas fans used it? Well, many of them seem to think we're mindlessly enamored with our coach. I can even remember (and no, I'm not going to take the time to look) Razorbacks making claims in our comment threads that Ole Miss fans think Houston Nutt is "brilliant" and "the best coach ever." This maybe be true for the "OMG Hawtty Tawddy y'all WeAr RED!!!1" portion of the fanbase, but to come onto a blog which openly admits that Nutt is in the bottom half of the conference in coaching and make such claims is pretty damned ignorant.

You get it now? This argument is a straw man in that it purports a position which is not necessarily that of the target in an attempt (a failed one, at that) to misrepresent the opponents' (that'd be us) position and/or undermine their intelligence. I have yet to meet an Ole Miss fan who thinks Houston Nutt is "da best currch EVAR " and we've certainly never said that.

Within the realms of logic, reason, and debate, the use of a straw man is considered fallacious (hence the name) and frowned upon. I certainly don't like them very much myself, either.

This is why, over the next few days, I plan on demonstrating the absurdity of the common use of the straw man on the part of the Razorback fans by--you guessed it--setting up my very own straw men!

Now, this series won't be consistent of true straw men in that these are positions actually advocated by hoardes of Razorback fans. However, they will be straw men in the sense that I am bringing up these topics without (direct) provocation and arguing against them before my opponent(s) have an opportunity to directly state their position(s).

Also, I plan on really blowing this shit outta proportion.

Hypocritical double standard? You bet. I run this Goddamn blog, motherfuckers. You can just get over it.


Straw Man number 1: "Ole Miss has a talented football team."

Arkansas fans love to say this. They clamor on and on about the ever so talented Rebels. Of course, they do this to further perpetuate the idea that, with another (really, any other) coach, Ole Miss would have a much better record. In their eyes, Ole Miss is extremely talented and Hooten Day-yel is just fuckin' this one up royally. The examples are numerous. Just peruse our comment threads, woopig, hogville, and the like.

While the Rebels certainly have a few talented players (some at an All-American level) at certain positions, to say that Ole Miss, as a team, is talented is not true. Oher and Peria Jerry are perhaps the only players who consistently display high levels of talent. When Jevan's on a roll, Hardy has his magic shoes, and Dex hasn't been eating fried catfish while wearing his receiver's gloves they are certainly quite talented. However, a 1/1 TD to INT ratio doesn't scream "talent." Not starting because of your shitty attitude is, in my opinion, a demonstrable lack of talent. And you would be hard pressed to find anyone who would describe someone who turns the ball over as routinely as McCluster to be purely talented.

Does a talented team have to convert a wideout and halfback to cornerback just to be four-deep at the position? Does a talented team have two converted safeties at the outside linebacker slots? Does a talented team have a former wideout starting at free safety? Our lack of talent has made these changes necessary; not some imaginary boatload of talent, Razorback fans.

On what basis to the Hogs make these claims of talent? They, like many of us in Eddie O's first couple of seasons, were tricked by Rivals and Scout recruiting rankings.

For simplicity's sake, I'm going to be using Rivals.com data for this next portion where I look at the last few years of Ole Miss recruiting to decipher just how we ascertained such high, yet misleading recruiting rankings.

2004: 30th overall/8th in the SEC - Ok, this one doesn't really count because it was Cutcliffe's last year and it wasn't highly ranked, but the fact that, of the 14 3-star or higher rated players, 3 of them made it to their redshirt senior season (remember, Cut gave just about everyone a red shirt) says something about our retention rate. "Oh, but Ghost, those players graduated or are in the NFL, duh." No, sadly, not at all.

2005: 30th overall/9th in the SEC - This class featured Jerrell Powe. Keep that in mind. It also featured Peria Jerry, who was being counted a second time. Of the 11 3-star or higher players, only five stuck with the program. Remember Quenten Taylor, Jada Brown, and Kendrick Perry? Yeah, thought so.

2006: 16th overall/6th in the SEC - This was Ed Orgeron's best class by far... sorta. While looking through the reference links today I noticed this thread on Hogville, on which someone made the claim that we had "the best recruiting classes in the SEC." Sixth isn't the "best," you dolt. The reason this class was ranked so high was because of two 5-star caliber athletes: Brent Schaeffer (bust, only "played" two seasons) and Jerrell Powe (being counted for a second time). It also featured John Jerry being counted for a second time. Furthermore, 4-star Tery Levy, who never made it on campus was a part of this class. However, despite these setbacks, this class was still pretty good by Ole Miss standards. Many of those players are still on the team. Despite this relative succss, the 2006 class certainly isn't the type to completely support an entire program. Of the 24 3-star or higher players in this class, 7 are not a part of the program.

2007: 27th overall/8th in conference - This class was a complete bust. It consisted of six four stars, the three highest rated of which (Chris Strong, AJ Jackson, and Roderick Davis) aren't on the team. There were 18 3-star or higher athletes in this class and, after ONE season, a third of them are gone.

2008 28th overall/7th in conference - This was a half Nutt, half Orgeron recruited class and, say what you Razorbacks will, but four of the top five players in this class committed to Ole Miss because of Nutt.

So, of all of the highly rated Ed Orgeron years, we had several players whose star rankings counted twice, a five-star who played like a 1-star, and more than enough 4-stars that never even made it to campus. As of right now, we have 49 3-star or higher players to fill up 85 roster slots... ouch.

Those recruiting class rankings you see every spring are absolute bullshit. If you are an Ole Miss fan and haven't realized that by now, prayers have been sent.

All of this adds up to one, simple fact; and that is that Ole Miss is NOT talented. LSU is talented. Florida is talented. Alabama is (I regret typing this already) talented. This team didn't win a single damned game in conference last season. This team can't fill out its roster at certain key positions with natural players of those positions. Hell, some members (ahem) can't even put a pair of shoes on a damned bus. However, and as sad as this is to say, this is the most talented Rebel team in five years. Are they more talented than Arkansas? Yes. Yes they are. The Razorback faithful will say "well Houston Dale just gave up on recruiting!"

Well, well, well... What a lovely segue into tomorrow's segment of Arkansas Straw Men: "Houston Nutt is a despicable person for not putting his full effort into recruiting last season." Stay tuned, faithful Cup fans! Arkansas hate week rolls on!

Arkansas Hate Week - The Long and Winding Road

Rebel fans who have been with us longer than a year remember a time when "Arkansas Hate Week" would have been a pretty distant hypothetical. Sandwiched between a trip to Tuscaloosa (See: Alabama Hate Week) and an appointment with the Plainsmen, I certainly felt a little too swamped to be sweating the swine.

Nevertheless, here we are - renting airplanes.

And why? Because we here at RSC have visitors like Stephen Colboar (clever girl!):

Hotty Totty gosh almighty,
Houston's bout to shit the potty

ROLL TIDE

Or the ever-entertaining Gonzohog:

You might be wasting your time with these folks Yellow Tail, as I have. What does it tell you when thier listening to the mighty ESPN BS, over fans that's followed thier team for a lifetime? Drinking a lot of cool-aid down yonder in Rebel land these days.

The irony that Gonzo spelled "cool" correctly in the general context, but not in the specific context of Kool-Aid, is certainly not lost on me.

And those two gems paled in comparison to these great firestorms. The larger point is this - if you happen to be one of our loyal readers who objects to lewd and offensive language and/or inflammatory "logic," be prepared; there's about to be some hog slop in these parts.* And it may well be misspelled.

*Note: I've got nothing but love for our neighbor, Yellow Tail Swine. He's a misguided, belligerent Hog fan, but, by God, he can think and type at the same time. Huzzah!

The Red [REDACTED] Cup Officially DOES NOT Endorse the Proposed Fayetteville Flyover

Just in case anyone was curious, the Red [REDACTED] Cup does not and will likely never support something as asinine as flying a smack-talkin' banner over Donald W. Reynolds Razorback Stadium. Why? Well:

1. It's stupid. Just because they did it (to themselves, mind you) doesn't mean that we should.
2. I don't care if it's got coach Nutt's blessings. They treated him like garbage so I would expect him to say somewhat crazy, vindictive things about them. Have you listened to the man talk? He's wacky.
3. We're 3-4. You don't talk shit when you're 3-4, even if it is to another 3-4 team.
4. Just the thought of Ole Miss doing something this juvenile is insanely embarrassing.
5. The money raised for this little "project" could do plenty of better things. For example, you could donate to the Basketball Practice Facility. You could donate to the University's general scholarship fund. You could feed your fat fucking children. The list goes on.
6. The plans call for it to say "Ole Miss is NUTTS about Houston." Are you serious? You're going to spend a lot of money on something which is already a bad idea and, just when I thought it couldn't get any lamer, outfit it with a "Nutty" pun? We've been over this shit before; click the tag.
7. You think we're crazy? You think LSU is crazy? Try Northwest Arkansas in four days. That will be the craziest Goddamn shit you've ever seen. The zaniest, most delusional fans this side of Tuscaloosa will be as pissed as they've ever been. Why would you want to further incite an already savagely threatening environment?
   
8. I think it's safe to say that an overwhelming majority of Ole Miss fans are NOT in support of this. You may call us "bad" fans for saying that. Nevermind the fact that we run an Ole Miss sports blog and know more about football than you anyway, we don't like your shitty banner so we're "bad" Rebels.

Don't do it. Use the money for something else.

Having that been said, Arkansas hate week is on, y'all. If I've got time, my series of the "Arkansas Straw Men" will open today with Straw Man #1: Ole Miss is a talented football team.

Fun with Numbers

Not to distract from the main goal - beating Alabama - but since an impressive percentage of our reader base consists of adversarial Arkansas fans (excuse me while I call the Hawgs - "Houston Nutt" - there, that ought to bring them to the trough), I want to play some fun with numbers. In the first four games, Michael Smith got 54 touches in the Petrinoffense, while Arkansas limped to a 2-2 record with razor-thin victories over UL-Monroe (Roll Tide!) and Western Illinois and canyon-like lopsided losses to Texas and Alabama. In the last two games, a moral victory over Florida, in which Timmy and the Resurrected spent three quarters with their hands in their pants, and and actual victory over Auburn, Michael Smith, who would certainly have been the centerpiece of Nutt's offense from Day 1 had he been in Fayetteville this year, has rushed for 55 times for 318 yards.

185 of those came against what I called a historically good SEC defense. I'm wrong about some things. One of the things I clearly am not wrong about, though, is that, while Houston Nutt might not have left the Hogs locked and loaded for a run at the SEC Championship, he at least left them the thing for which he has become famous - a top-flight running back.

Am I calling out Bobby Petrino. Heaven forbid. That would indicate on my part a lack of integrity because I doubted Michael Smith at season's beginning. Of course, I'm not his coach.

Internets Available in Arkansas; Accessed by Hog Fans part V (rational clarity edition!)

Spirit and Rivals posters go goo-goo and gah-gah over the Wild Rebel. They yammer on and on about how Coach Nutt invented it, Sugar Bowls, Gerald Pow, etc etc.

Arkansas fans disagree. According to them, Gus Malzhan invented the offense, thus making him the single most brilliant coordinator Arkansas has ever hired. In fact, Arkansas fans love Gus Malzhan so much that they're secretly pulling for Tulsa on November 1 (it'll just be one more thing to hold over HDN's head).

Well, according to The Slophouse, neither man "invented" anything, but rather put modern twists on a decades old offense. The Wildcat/Hog/Rebel/Dolphin/Raider/LadyVol is nothing more than a fancified single-wing offense with a triple-option.

"Wait a gosh-darn minute," you may say. "How can this Arkansas site be so certain that Malzhan didn't invent this offense?"

Well, here's what Malzhan himself had to say about his supposed invention:

Wait, please don’t make it sound, you know, like I ’invented’ anything... Football’s a game where you use ideas that you see. I’ve used everyone’s ideas. This isn’t about me at all. Please don’t make it sound that way.

Who's been saying this all along? This guy, right here.

Post Scriptum - By the way, I do know what Houston Nutt did invent: the LOLCat offense!

Post-Game Report (finally)

So here we are: I had all kinds of things to write about last night, but most of them resided, along with the sick feeling in your gut that surely, all of us felt (at least those of us who actually follow the team. And/or smuggled Ziplock bags of Jack into the stadium). Beyond the terrible effort on display on the part of Jevan Snead and the Ole Miss offensive line (can't fault the receivers, backs, or the defense), we have a pretty significant quandary on our hands in Oxford: we can't possibly conceive a way to win a football game wherein a loss is a possibility. Not since South Carolina in 2004 has Ole Miss defeated a team with an equal or greater combination of talent, experience, and coaching. Don't even bring up wins against Memphis, State, and Vandy (2006). The talent gap makes it inexcusable to lose those games, despite our ability to always make it look close.

Before Hog fans (you lost by 5 touchdowns to Alabama. This should be enough to silence you for the week, but I know otherwise) come here to gloat: this isn't a coaching issue. Houston Nutt and his staff have demonstrated that they can coach fundamentals, concoct a good game plan, choose the right personnel, and generally put the players in position to succeed. And while Orgeron's teams lost all kinds of games, some of which can be put on his shoulders, he still was incapable of fumbling the ball, throwing interceptions, or allowing Derek Pegues to go untouched into the endzone on a critical punt return. He was on the sidelines. And please, spare me any talk of how part of coaching is teaching kids to avoid mistakes like these. Having to teach kids to hold on to the ball and to avoid throwing 5 interceptions in a game is like taking attendance and grading homework in a 500 level class. It should be fucking insulting, and an unnecessary waste of time that could be spent on conditioning, learning playbooks, and scouting. I can't blame Nutt for this one, as the game plan was there.

If Nutt is at fault at all, it is in his recent inexperience in instilling a winning attitude. He inherited players that were decent and knew how to win at Arkansas. He recruited some excellent players and instilled a continued winning attitude, and did a lot of great things, all while located in the asshole of America, Fayetteville (again, Hawg fans, don't talk, your town sucks, and don't say 'thank God for Mississippi,' because that's a crock of shit bolstered by misleading statistics. Mississippi > Arkansas as a good place to live). Anyhow, it is certainly an alien feeling for Nutt to teach a bunch of talented, habitual losers to win. I can understand that. What I can't understand, is how it got this bad to begin with.

Ole Miss has some incredible talent. For certain, the talent in the secondary, at tight end, and in the linebacking corps, leaves something to be desired by the standards of the SEC elite. However, there aren't many guys like Mike Oher, John Jerry, Shay Hodge, Mike Wallace, Dexter McCluster, Greg Hardy, Peria Jerry, Brandon Bolden, etc., in the SEC. We have some serious players, and good balance overall. We just haven't found the chemistry and resolve to pull out any solid SEC wins in the last four years. Losing feels inevitable to these guys, and I'm not sure what can be done about that.

With all that behind me, let's go to the actual game analysis:

7 penalties for 82 yards vs. 2 penalties for 20. Hard to believe that the home team had over four times the penalty yardage as the away team, especially given the subjective nature of most of the penalties. Late hits were called on the UM offense when I saw the same thug garbage committed by a VU defender on the same play. Not the reason we lost, but damn. Give us a dozen or so fairly officiated SEC games and we just might win one or two...

Snead is a talented head case. Get ready, folks. If a QB lobotomy isn't performed on Snead soon, look for Brent Schaeffer part II. Last night was possibly (with talent level taken into consideration) the worst underperformance by an Ole Miss athlete since the invention of the forward pass. The stat sheet says four INT's. It was actually five, as the one immediately stolen back by the Ole Miss receiver wasn't counted. Can't even recognize the guy that threw four TD's on the road at Wake Forest. Either way, the 4/5 INT's doesnt begin to tell the story of how poor Jevan was. He was Ethan Flatt at Wyoming poor. He was Brent Schaeffer at Kentucky poor... Need I go on?

McCluster and Green put too much weight on their shoulders to make plays. Both are dynamic with the ball. Both made critical fumbles last night. Green had no business trying to break all those tackles on the punt return. There was no seam, no extra yardage to be gained. Protect the ball in this situation. McCluster probably shouldn't have been the guy to take the ball through the middle of the defense in this situation. Send any of our top three RB's, who are much bigger and stronger and have demonstrated sure hands for the most part, into the thick of things when it counts, instead of a 5-8 scat back. I agree with running the Wild Rebel, but again, decision making wasn't all it could have been by McCluster.

Defensive line will be a star unit if they don't get bogged down by the rest of the teams fuckuperation. Hardy, Jerry, and Powe were all monsters. Could be time for Gerald Pow to do the Hotty Toddy on the Grove stage, because he's getting much closer to his expected impact (12 tackles, 5 sacks, 1 INT, and a pass touchdown per game, approx.).


The rest of the defense fed off of the increased pressure from the front four. I hate to get all optimistic here, but we may just be able to pull an upset by playing good defense and keeping the ball out of Snead's incapable hands.

The offensive line is still soft. Even with over 200 yards rushing, the line failed to impress, this time with the problem being in pass protection. I wonder if most of this wasn't caused by Snead's inability to audible and take advantage of/cover for the blitz. Still, these guys are talented and experienced, and need to maul some motherfuckers. Hasn't yet happened.

That is about all I have. Last night, I was pondering the abysmal lack of intestinal fortitude and mental strength by Ole Miss athletes since I arrived here in the Fall of 2004. It really is sickening, and I find myself wondering after a loss like this what draws us to be fans. Certainly, regional proximity and school loyalty are a big factor in what team you support, but shouldn't you also respect something about the resolve, the tenacity, the effort level and the spirit of the teams for which you so fervently cheer? Well, as it stands, I can't respect them until they come out and win a big game. No loss can be considered a moral victory, no good effort can be deemed worthwhile until a W appears in the stat column. Here it is, Rebs: I don't respect you. I've seen more resolve and mental composure in Club and Intramural level teams, and your consistent failure to seal a victory has made me question the worth of my years of support. I won't go to Gainesville with my crew next weekend, because I know that you won't show up in any better mental condition to beat Florida than would I and my drunken compatriots. Please, Rebels, at some point this year, prove me wrong. Make me believe again. Win six and get to a bowl. Being a jaded asshole just isn't fun. Goodnight, and Hotty Toddy.

A Bloggeur's Rant: The Houston Nutt Show

Yesterday evening, Whiskey Wednesday and were were bored whilst aimlessly ambling about the Square when we saw the Supertalk Mississippi stage set up at the Oxford University Club.

"Egads!" I exclaimed. "We should see the Houston Nutt Show in a few minutes."

"Gadzooks!" replied Whiskey Wednesday. "They have beer for a dollar!"

So, we went. Juco All-American came and we drank beer under the veranda, talked football with a few other fans, and enjoyed ourselves... That is, until the actual Houston Nutt show itself began.

Now, before you come all up on our blog and say "well we tried to warn you about NUTTY McNUTTbitch but u Webbilz woulddnt LISTEN Woooooooooopig," Houston Nutt honestly had nothing to do with our disappointment. A majority of the fans in attendance and a few of the folks who called-in simply blew our minds with their disrespect, ignorance, and kool-aid mustaches.

First and foremost, shut the fuck up. Seriously. This goes out especially to you old ladies. When Kellum and Nutt, while speaking into a microphone, are barely audible due to your gabby ass you've become a serious problem. I know that you may not give a shit about the proceedings and you may only be there to chat with "the gals" and/or because your cranky husband dragged you along, but I couldn't care less. You killed my buzz and gave me incentive to leave early. I know Coach Nutt was spilling the same old "yahoo, yippee, he's special, Enricky Davis" talk, but that doesn't mean that I wasn't trying to listen to him. It's the Houston Nutt show, not a wine and cheese party. You're a part of an audience; audience, you know, that word from the Latin audire meaning to listen.*

I looked around and saw folks sharing pictures, swapping business cards, and doing a bunch of stuff which certainly either could have waited or been done somewhere else entirely. Stop it. Even after Juco and I left, we tried to listen in his car and we could still hear your crap through the radio.

As for you who are actually paying attention, don't raise your hand to use the microphone or call in unless you've actually got something pertinent to say. Here are some actual questions or comments people had for ol' coach:

• How many years of eligibility does Jevan Snead have? I'd like you to do two things: meet my friend Google, and stop wasting people's time. Could you do that for me?
  
  
• Ummmm, hey coach. Uh, I just called to say go Rebels and, uh, don't go Vandy! Don't go Vandy? That's lame. That's about as lame as calling a radio show just to say "Go Rebels LOL ;)"
  
  
• When I was a Razorback, I hated you. Now that I'm a Rebel, I love you. Telling a coach you love him is one thing, admitting to once being a Razorback is another.
  
  
• Coach, I just wanted to say that we're happy you're in Oxford (extended lovefest removed for brevity). Now, for my question: what color jerseys are the Rebels going to wear on Saturday? Are you serious? You actually flagged the girl down so you could get the microphone, wait for your turn, and address our coach on a live radio show just to ask that? They'll either be red or blue, pal. What, are you going to boycott the game based on coach Nutt's response? Do you have an extreme aversion to certain colors? I'm still just befuddled as to why a person would stand up just to ask somebody what color jerseys our team will be wearing. Ask about practice. Ask about recruiting. Ask about Vanderbilt. Don't ask this crap.

Don't get me wrong. There were plenty of folks who listened and kept the question and answer portion of the show as relevant as possible. Kudos are certainly in order to you few. As for the rest of you, you're on notice. I wanted to drink cheap beer, hear what HDN had to say about practice 'n' shit, and generally get pumped about his weekend. You all ruined that for me.


*Before somebody calls me out on it, I know that's a Bill Maher joke.