Patrick Willis' Pick Six

Patrick Willis owns you.



Patrick, I'm sorry O couldn't win you some more games.

Patrick Willis: So Effing Chill

Patrick Willis is a chill dude. And, in case you had forgotten just how awesome he is, this fluff piece from the San Francisco Chronicle should be an adequate refresher.

Here's what the NFL's Defensive Rookie of the Year said about his 2007 season performance:

"Last year was all right. But I didn't do good. I kind of look at it like, first you do well, then you're good, then you're great. This year, I want to be good. I have to do better."

Do you not just love this guy? I mean, he is just the walking around embodiment of exactly why we should listen to everything our grandmothers tell us.

You want some racial reconciliation in Mississippi? I want to find a white dude in Mississippi who wouldn't jump for freakin' joy if his daughter brought Patrick Willis home. In fact, Patrick, when you get done being the best linebacker in the history of the 49'ers organization, just feel free to come on home and solve racism in Mississippi.

I'm sure he'd be glad to do it. Because you know who this racism is not killing on the inside? Patrick Willis. He is just way too chill.

Red/Blue/Manning/Willis/Fireworks/ChangingtheCultureofAlcohol Preview!!!!@3

So if you're looking for a great weekend in Oxford this spring... this may not be it. Avett Brothers headline Double Decker, and will easily be the best act in DD history, as far as I'm concerned. Unlike the past few years though, the DD headliner probably couldn't start at quarterback and/or cornerback on the football team. So if you like, I dunno, sports and shit, maybe this weekend will be ok...

I have a beef with the Ole Miss PR 'machine' this weekend. By declaring Manning-Willis day this weekend, we slight two recent Ole Miss greats, Deuce 'Volkswagen' McAllister, and Derrick Burgess. Like Manning/Willis, they had great collegiate success on underachieving Ole Miss teams, and went on to do great things in the NFL, McAllister being an integral part of the best Saints team in history, and Burgess leading the NFL in sacks two years ago. Also, Deuce has already supplied the University with a significant monetary contribution, and with all of his dealerships, he looks to do the same in the future, as well as send his kids here to pledge Phi Delta Theta.

So anyway, here are two lists of observations/predictions to look out for this weekend, one of which is likely to happen, one of which, if it happens, don't say I didn't call it...

Real predictions:

1. Greg Hardy does something ridiculous. Whether he kills Billy Tapp in cold blood or chases down Mike Wallace on a deep route after shaking off a Michael Oher Block and getting chop blocked by Corey Actis and Chaz Ramsey, expect Greg to do something to assert himself as the most dominant class skipper on campus.
2. Dustin Mouzon turns in a solid performance, solidifying his top spot at CB, leaving Vaughn and Green to battle it out for the other spot. My vote goes to Green, based on his having been taught to, I dunno, catch the ball sometimes.
3. Tony Fein makes a good push as the starter at Mike 'backer. I think Cornell or perhaps Trahan get the eventual nod here, but Fein is instinctive, and will likely do well against our offense. Spread and/or spread option offenses will kill him, but he'll at least be in the conversation until we come across one for realstown. Staff sources indicate that despite his speed limitations, Fein's wicked awesome tattoo could start at outside 'backer in a pinch.
4. Allen Walker/Jamarca Sanford/an errant observer might hit Dex so hard he dematerializes. I'm really excited about him being so involved in the offense. But please, Coach, don't put him in until SEC play.
5. Jevan Snead will NOT throw an interception to Mike Dzura, as he did last spring. Mainly because Dzura got, like, hardcore busy with frat stuff and isn't on the team anymore. Seriously, though, if Snead throws picks, it'll only be to legit DB's, ya'll. I am worried about his Brett Favre tendencies, but hopefully he learns to trust his offense enough to help him score without throwing up garbage.
6. Offensive line gets beat up, gets called various effeminate names by Markuson. I think they'll be fine, especially when John Jerry gets rid of whatever unsavory medical condition currently ails him. However, Peria + Hardy + Tillman + Laurent + Stevens + Lockett = a disconcerting amount of sacks for an offensive line coach. This will also cause folks to be underwhelmed with Cordera Eason, but again, I'll give him a pass for now.
7. Assuming that teams are divided into first team O/second team D vs. second team O/first team D, I'm picking the first team O, since the defensive line backups will dominate their offensive counterparts, and the deep receiving corps on the second team won't have many good passes come their way. 17-7, first team O, decided in regulation...

Fake predictions (but don't blame me if they happen):

1. Tracy Rocker and Jerrell Powe get bored on the sidelines and ingest Dexter McCluster. Though not as high in protein, Nutt will appeal to Powe to snack on private school kickers in the future.
2. Rory Johnson, Mico McSwain, and Jamal Harvey drop by to watch their former teammates, but are quickly evacuated as the APR reactor reaches critical mass.
3. Andy Kennedy and Mike Bianco make a special guest appearance to speak to the team about reaching their potential... various NAFOOM posters suffer irony-related aneurysms.
4. Houston Nutt will express his continued optimism towards the team saying that, although he is excited about the progress of the team as a whole, "we're really just waiting on Hunter Miller."
5. Make your own... It is damn near 2:30 A.M., and I'm almost sober.

Audience Participation!

If you had to choose which of these men to whom you would submit yourself in idolatry, who would it be?






This weekend marks the university's zenith of past-glorification - Eli Manning/Patrick Willis Day, known to the rest of us as "The Grove Bowl" or if you're a hippie-loving, "We are ... Ole Miss" saying, Coulour Reuvoult-listening wrist-cutter, the "Red-Blue Game." Though, they haven't really done anything special this week, there is obviously some effort to recognize the contributions of Patrick Willis to football and Eli Manning to ... a well balanced diet? It's well-deserved. Willis led the league in tackles or something. Manning led the league in miraculous catches by David Tyree. Much love to each.

My question is, should RSC honor Manning or Willis (or neither) as Rebel of the Week. Which (if either) deserves deification and immortality at the hands of The Cup? Respond below (or don't ... at your peril!).