Stanley's mom has got it goin' on

THIS JUST IN: Nathan Stanley, one of our newest quarterback signees, has a hot mom.M.I.L.F.

At this point, I don't care about how many stars he had or where his offers were from. I just want to get tickets within 50 feet of the Stanleys for the next few years. O's recruiting ability never got us anything like this. Thank you, Houston Dale Nutt.

I now leave you with a scene from everyone's favorite obscure Tom Hanks film: Bachelor Party. You'll soon see why.