Rebel Roundup

If you think Ray Poole couldn't roundhouse kick Chuck Norris into next Saturday, think again. Ray Poole, an All-SEC Defensive End at Ole Miss and former assistant coach for John Vaught (who, by the way, interrupted his football career at UM to go fight the Japs in Dubya Dubya Eye Eye), passed away yesterday. Poole Drive, on the campus of the university, is named for Ray and his brothers, Buster and Barney, who were also Ole Miss football greats. Rest in peace, soldier.

Well, now that we've beaten the worst team in Tennessee... Ole Miss "surged" past Memphis yesterday to steal a 5-4 win over the 11-16 Tigers. Surge is an accurate description of what Ole Miss did to Memphis last night, because this team is starting to remind me of the War in Iraq. The Diamond Rebs will make up the Tuesday game that was rained out on April 29 at Nat Buring Stadium, Memphis' home "field." Ryan Perrilloux, Michael Brown, and Quinton Wesley will escort the team to provide security. The Rebels face Vanderbilt this weekend. That should turn out well.

Golf. Paul Katool writes about how we are okay at it.

Les Miles: You Only Thought He Had Cajones.

This is ... this is just ... just too good to be true.

So, we all know how much Ryan Perrilloux totally blows. The answer: a lot. And, just in case you're too busy to click the links (which are absolutely incredible, by the way), here's, more or less, what happened: Perrillouxzzr was just trying to get dranked at a local brew-pubbery, when this guy, or someone like him, refused this modest request because "they were closed."

I just can't imagine this happening in Oxford. Here's the scenario: Jevan Sneed walks in to Parrish Baker's house at, I don't know, 3:47 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Would you expect Parrish to (a) call the cops, (b) have an intervention with the young man, or (c) tell Jevan that of course it's still Whiskey Wednesday and, by the way, this one is on the house!

I know what I'd do.

I mean, I hope El Sombrero isn't so gosh-darn embarrassed by Perrillouxzzr that he boots this guy right out of the State of Louisiana because a train-wreck like Ryan Perrilloux is certain to do more damage to this football team. This is, literally, the only pop culture reference I can think of that accurately reflects the recklessness of even letting this guy on a college campus, much less on the football team. And, of course, word is that The Mad Hatter has telephoned the owner of the establishment and the police offering his apologies.

Needless to say, there's two extra scoops of crazy in Baton Rouge right now.

EDIT: Apparently it's all just a clever rouse (Rouxzze?) and the restaurant is denying the aforementioned event ever occurred.
















"Err, yes.... that's the story.... nothing happened, nothing happened at all...."

Baseball Recruiting: A Pick Me Up

I saw a post by Yancy on Ole Miss Spirit that links to all the profiles of our baseball prospects. Because I was bummed on the baseball team, I thought it important to look and see whether the inbound prospects are any good.

Newsflash: They're amazing. Or at least, their offer lists are the best of any class we've signed. I'd like to point out that I'm not divulging any information that requires paying Scout. I don't believe in doing that. They work for their information.

That being said, we signed ten prospects. One of the most glaring differences about this class is their height. We're about to get tall.

First is 6'5" RHP Aaron Barrett out of Wabash CC in Illinois. Aaron's fastball tops out at 94 mph. His self-proclaimed best pitch is his slider. His other offers were from Kansas, Kentucky, Louisville, and Miami. So far this season at Wabash, Barrett has a less than stellar ERA of 4.18 in 23.2 IP. However, he has 26 Ks and only 9 BBs.

Next is 6'0" LHP Kyle Barbeck out of Blue Spring HS in Missouri. Barbeck is in Baseball America's top 100 prospects. His fastball tops out at 94. His other offers were from Arizona State, Missouri, and Wichita State. I can't find any information on his senior season thusfar, but just know that this kid is incredible. He's the high school ace we recruited this year (since we only get one a year even though we could probably get two or three if we set our sights higher). He and Pomeranz will be an excellent duo of left-handed speed pitchers.

But wait... there's another high school ace! 6'3" RHP Brett Huber from Althoff Catholic HS in Illinois is another solid arm with solid offers. Along with his offer from Ole Miss, the pitcher picked up offers from Clemson, Missouri, South Carolina, and Virginia. Perfect Game USA rates him as a 9.5 out of ten. According to their scale, we should worry about losing him to the pros.

6'4 RHP Kyle Thornton is the first in-state prospect on the list as he is from Tupelo High School right here in the dirty dirty. Thornton's other legit offer was from Mississippi State. Throwing in the low 90s, it's incredible to think that he will be near the bottom in speed of all the pitchers we sign this year. Much like Will Kline, this is the type of player from which you just have to get production, a Mississippian who has always liked Ole Miss.

Memphis University School gives us a 6'1" RHP who stepped in for Michael Park this year in Blair Wright. Sure, he's not as decorated as Park and had no other offers, but it's good to see a guy like this want to follow a teammate. Still... I wonder about players like Wright. I'm sure he's fine, but he appears to be filler. In a college baseball world where the scholarships are so tight, it seems strange to tie one up for (at least) four years in a guy like this. EDIT: Blair Wright is on an academic scholarship, thus not counting towards the 11.7. Thanks NAFOOM.

6'2" Righty Chris Corrigan from San Jacinto CC in Texas adds even more solidity to the pitching class. While his ERA as a freshman at San Jacinto was just above 4.00, he faced more batters than anyone else on their staff, and he was only a freshman. Expect that ERA to go down as he builds on the experience he gained last season.

That's it for the pitchers. Then there's the matter of the four remaining signees, and all of them are outstanding.

Probably the biggest name remaining is 6'1" C Taylor Hightower out of Cartersville HS in Jawjuh. Hightower was recently named the #1 Catcher in his class. While not a legitimate home run threat, Hightower brings a solid average to the plate. With great ball speed from home to second (1.84 seconds), he should be the best of both worlds offensively and defensively. Hightower's other offers are from Auburn, Georgia Tech, North Carolina, and Virginia. In his Perfect Game Profile, he is rated a ten out of ten. This means he could go VERY early in the draft. Pay attention when it rolls around.

6'3" 1B/OF David Phillips of Texarkana CC is a guy who we may never see on the field. I feel like he could be lost in the depth chart for his years here. His other offers were from Kentucky, Nebraska, and A&M. His numbers just aren't monumental, and he's a first baseman. We have Matt Smith and an incoming outstanding freshman.

Now we get to my personal favorites, the twins.

At 6'5", brothers 1B Matt Snyder and 3B Mike Snyder from Westfield HS in Virginia will be towers at the corners of the infield. Both were heavily recruited, with Matt's other offers coming from Clemson, LSU, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Vanderbilt. Mike's other offers were from Alabama, Clemson, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Vanderbilt. Matt was rated the #74 player in his class by Baseball America. Mike was only in the top 250.

You're, You're-You're-You're, You're-You're-LAME!

Praises be to Jehovah our season is over. Yes, it may sound like I am being a bit of a NAFOOM for saying such a thing, but you've got to be kidding yourself to say that this season was anything other than an embarrassment.

"Yeah, totally! Like, OMFG NIT!?! We could have totally been in the tournament and Dubya-tee-eff is with Georgia in the SEC tourney huh??? LOL!"

Ok, yeah, that in its own right was embarrassing. We had some games in which we played like legit SEC title contenders (Vandy, TN) and some others which were bad enough to completely obliterate our chances at an NCAA berth (SoCar, Auburn^2). However, this is not the embarrassment of which I blog. Nay, I am talking about this embarrassment.

Your Honor, Exhibit A

Although that guy completely exemplifies the source of this rant, he is most certainly the tip of a ginormous, proverbial iceberg. Ever since we fired Rod "Yawn-sketball" Barnes and hired Andy Kennedy there has been a serious influx of douchitude in our Basketball fan base. Now that our team is somewhat successful (a stretch, I know), more exciting, and down with the "hip-hoppers" these asshats come out of the woodwork to support it. You know who they are, they show up über-early so they can get up close and get on CSS for all of their parents and community college alum friends to see and marvel in their extreme fandom. They jump around and rap along to whatever hip noise is causing the Rebelettes to shake their groove thang. And, yes, they will question your legitimacy as a fan if you're not as willing to act as retarded as they are.

NOTE: I bought season tickets and Hotty-ed every Toddy, you assholes. I don't need to prove anything else to you. What's even worse is that you yell at our old, Sunday-school teaching alumni to stand up and scream like crazed banshees even when the white kids are on the court (see: winning handily). Just because we're not all gussied up like the Ultimate Warrior to see an exhibition game against Delta State does not mean we don't care.

What is even worse are the incredibly unoriginal and less-than-inspiring cheers this group has bestowed upon us. Borrowing anything from the New York Jets is pathetic and that nonsense they do when people foul is incredibly embarrassing. Watching the NIT semifinal game on ESPN and hearing that racket literally made me ashamed to both cheer for the Rebels and to have ever been in the same student section as those clowns. Have you wondered why the only people that participate in these cheers are either a) in the band or b) standing within their immediate vicinity? I'm willing to guess it has to do with the fact that nobody wants anything to do with that shit, yet somehow they persist and persist upon doing it as if it is going to catch on like the HIV of cheers. They think they are great pioneers or trend setters in the unchartered waters of the Ole Miss basketball student section when really they are just pushy and annoying.

And you know what is the worst thing of them all? Many of these kids don't really care about Ole Miss sports or basketball like the lot of us. A great deal of them are just attention whores. Take for example "highlighted-shirt-boy." HSB here likes being on TV so much that he decided to show up extra early to get a front row seat right by the cameras. But that is not where his reign of douchedom ends. HSB thought that, instead of wearing a red shirt like EVERYONE ELSE, it would be rad to wear a highlighter yellow shirt so everyone at home on TV could see him. Oh no, dear reader, he hasn't only done this once or even twice; he's done it EVERY TIME WE ARE ON TV! It is this extreme level of pompous, supercilious bullshit which embarrassed me and many others to be associated with Ole Miss basketball these last few seasons. We're not Duke; we don't like basketball. We don't paint our faces or listen to techno or whore ourselves out to the Jefferson Financial cameraman. We drink, curse, and make love to our women and, on occassion, attend a basketball game if it doesn't interfere with our busy schedule of drinking, cursing, and making love to our women.

Yes, jackasses with goofy cheers, we have a fairweather fanbase and yes, nobody in Oxford really gives two shits about basketball. It sucks. But you know what sucks even worse? Having to put up with people who think they can do something about it.

"Hey-oooooooooooooooooooo!
S-T-O-P STOP! STOP! STOP!"

Message Board FrEnZy

Instead of doing homework, it is better to surf the message boards in search for really funny posts.

Here are three:



"Ole Miss Needs A Women's Gymnastics Team, We Really Do"

--Network Reb



"Should we put all our money In the Tennis program? and at least be a national power in one sport?"

--Jimbo65



"Could it be that one person's posts on here are an April Fool's joke? Surely, no one can be this ridiculous"

--Imarebel

MIKE!

Rebel fans are getting restless with the baseball team.


The trip to Alabama was quite disappointing.... The Rebs almost lost the last game of the double header, but a gutsy effort from Cody Satterwhite, Justin Cryer, Fuller Smith, and Logan Power sealed up a 2-1 win. Even after being really bad for about two weeks now, Ole Miss still sits atop the West at 4-5. Alabama and Auburn are tied for the lead in the West as well.

So, what's up with the baseball team? On paper, this is supposed to be the best Rebel team....EVER. I hope either: 1) This is not the best Rebel team because we have nothing to look forward to in the future or 2) They have not played to their potential yet.

Lance Lynn is solid when his breaking balls fall in for strikes, and he has tough innings when the hitters can zero in on his fastball. Pomeranz was great in his first start, but Bianco left him in too long. Satterwhite did a dang good job on Sunday.

No offense, Mike. Seriously, we do not have an offense. Hopefully the ship will get righted tonight against Memphis.

Memphis is terrible.
Here are the numbers:
RPI: 182
Record: 11-15
Defense: 5.7 runs per game
Current streak: 5 losses

Pitching match-up:
Philip Irwin RHP 2-1 (4.12 ERA)
vs
TBA for Memphis

Prediction:
Philip Irwin does a great job for the Rebels, and Ole Miss finds enough offense to survive.
Rebels 4-3

Hooray for Mediocrity

The Ole Miss Rebels managed to be one of the last 18 teams playing in college basketball this season as they advanced to the Final Four in the prestigious National Invitation Tournament. Unfortunately for the Rebs, they ran into some stiff competition in New York, themselves. Themselves disrupted the Rebels offensively which led to their dismal shooting in the first half and gave the Rebels a 27 point deficit. Themselves also forced 20 turnovers and themselves' lack of effort on the defensive side of the ball allowed Ole Miss to be out rebounded by 5.

Still, Ole Miss received solid contribution from DAHVEED Huertas who had a solid night from beyond the three point line and Chris Warren who delivered 19 points.

Rebel senior Dwayne Curtis went out in style with a 5-13 night from the floor with a 2-6 performance from the line, way to lead your team to vic...oops, nevermind DC.

When asked about the performance of the team Andy Kennedy set the record for most consecutive obscenities before concluding that, "It was just a shame Jamont Gordon and Charles Rhodes could not have made an impact for this team."

Rebel Roundup

Olé. Is it okay to laugh at the International Herald Tribune's headline for its coverage of tonight's HUGE game between the Ohio State Buckeye and the Mississippi State Bulldogs Rebels. In short, the International Herald Tribune has justified its existence.

Gimme dat board. Parish Alford writes about the Rebels' bread and butter - rebounding. If Ole Miss can keep snatching boards 2-to-1, they might be okay. This is not, however, firm evidence that Parish Alford actually watches Ole Miss athletics.

Dwayne Curtis couldn't be with us tonight. He is busy still playing basketball games. Mittittippi Tate's Jamont Gordon won the Cellular South Howell Trophy last night. No real surprise here, though, I would have picked Jarvis Varnado for the third finalist instead of Charles Rhodes. Quick! Can anyone name any player on Southern MIss' basketball team? No? Well, To the Top, anyway!

Every day is April Fool's day for Perrillouxzzr!

Ryan Perrillouxzzr continues to think he's too cool for school and is yet to practice during LSU spring drills. Apparently, Les "El Sombrero" Miles set forth a set of guidelines for the Bayou Bengal quarterback which he must hurdle in order to be allowed back on the practice field.

He hasn't.

I know, I know, we're all shocked.

"What!?! Perrilouxzzr a rulebreaker?!?"

USA Today: A Respected News Source

Does anyone want a job at USA Today? According to this article, it's as easy as creating a blog on Blogger. EDIT: The article has been changed. An excerpt of the original article:

"Mississippi figures to provide a challenge to an Ohio State team that plays solid defense as the Rebels have four players who have scoring averages in double figures. Senior forward Charles Rhodes leads the way with 17.5 points a game, followed by junior guard Jamont Gordon (17.1), sophomore guard Barry Stewart (11.7) and sophomore guard Ben Hansbrough (10.2).

Mississippi is also strong on the boards, a spot where Ohio State is vulnerable, as Rhodes is averaging 7.7 rebounds a game and Gordon is averaging 6.5 to go along with 4.9 assists a game."

Seriously, how much work does it take to realize that Jamont Gordon, Charles Rhodes, Little Brough, and Jarvis Varnado (pictured here) are not Rebels? Just read one article about the "Mississippi Rebels". It would be much easier to understand if the journalist had just mixed everything up and written "Mississippi State Bulldogs", but to call the team the "Rebels" and then list players who are Bulldogs just seems like it would be a hard mistake to make.

In speaking with a friend of mine who knows a lot more about journalism than I do, I found out that this mistake is absurdly common for the two Mississippi Schools. Apparently, when Mississippi State was very good at basketball and we were just awful, we received votes every week in the top 25.

Still, I would hope that USA Today would have better knowledge of college athletics than that of Bumpkinville, ME's Bumpkinville High Beat Writer (who, though not real, was recently awarded a vote in USA Today's College Basketball Polling).

I could also understand it if our basketball program were laughable this season, but we were making national headlines often early on in the season.

I'm not asking for some absurd SMB(Spirit Message Board)-style boycott of USA Today. It just upsets me when a nationally-distributed paper's NIT beat writer can't spend 5 minutes figuring out which two teams are half of the tournament's final four.