Be My Valentine, The Darkness of Nightfall

Hate me...

Here I sit. Alone. Deeply, darkly, blissfully alone. You would laugh at me. Oh would you ever laugh at me. But it is I who has the last and most soulful laugh on this day, a disgusting day. While you and whatever vapid tramp you're dragging around-stuffing her face with shitty pasta, chocolates, and appletinis-are about, feeding the corporate guilt war machine with your own wealth all because you hope to get laid, I, xxgr3gxx, will be suffering through true bliss.

Loneliness, that is my bliss. Oh, sweet darkness, envelop me, take my soul. Make me bleed inside. How do you fight loneliness? You smile all the time and laugh at every joke. Hah. Pathetic. Loneliness is for the honest, the ones who are not afraid of their own anguish.

I pity you.

Have a horrible Valentines day, motherfuckers. I'm going to sit alone at Huddle House and drink decaf for two or three before going home to slip into some girls jeans and flat iron my hair. Oh, and I'm going to weep to my new Girl Talk CD.


-emo Greg Hardy

Rebel Roundup: Links 'n' Links 'n' Links (EDIT, new link)

We have all been terribly busy lately and therefore have not been bloggin' like we should. We would apologize but, come to think of it, we're not your damn clown. We'll entertain you on our own time.

Alright, that was a bit harsh. I'm sorry. We love you. Especially you, You TOOL, please continue to demonstrate your genius to us all.

Here are some links to peruse during this Inauguration Day. Go America.

Ole Miss is the 24th most Prestigious Program EVAR - Considering the fact that we have the 25th highest winning percentage of all time, this shouldn't be too shocking. ESPN.com's college football section had a cool graphic which included Archie Manning in the dead center. Thanks, ESPN. I don't know why you've all of the sudden grown some wondrous Ole Miss boner (save for the ever-impotent Mark May) but we at the Cup are down.

Can Dan Mullen Win? - Ivan Maisel ponders this in his newest piece on ESPN.com. He not only explores the differences between the Mississippi State program and the Florida program, but also the somewhat ridiculous expectations we all place on incoming coaches.

Sports Illustrated Declares Ole Miss a Draft "Winner" - Greg Hardy's decision to stay has earned us some positive press. The angst-riddled Archduke of Sackenstein should be an all-American next season. Jordan Jefferson, Ryan Mallett, Tyler Russell, and others beware. Along those same lines, SI's Stewart Mandel feels that the large number of returning juniors with great NFL potential are showing that it's "cool to stay in school." I personally doubt that Greg Hardy is trying to send that specific message but, whatever, sure.

EDIT: Stewart Mandel also has a Rebel Boner - We're his preseason #5. The pressure's on, Rebs.

Greg Hardy will be back

We said it before, but then heard otherwise, but then heard otherwise once more, and then we found some angst-filled poem or some shit scrawled out on a moleskine page which confused us even more so....

Well, shit. I'm not even willing to say he's coming back anymore. Word is that Coach Nutt has, in fact, convinced Hardy to return, heal up, be a badass, ruin quarterbacks, and make big time NFL dollars in next years draft.

Believe it if you will. I'm waiting until after the draft as a precaution to preserve my fragile, Rebel expectations.

A moody, introspective letter to Graham Harrell

Graham:

You don’t know me… No one really does, I suppose, but you, Graham: you will soon be privy to the smitten rage of my most blighted of hearts. You see, Graham, you are everything that my soul loathes. Heisman candidate, Texas All-American boy, the popular kid with the golden arm at quarterback… You were on my mind just the other day, while I was listening to the new Juliana Theory album that just leaked while taking pictures of myself from skewed upward angles. And it made me hurt inside, Graham. It just isn’t fair. I crouch in a tiny desk in graphic design class, as big as any three of the other kids stapled together, and none of them invite me to the Airships shows on the weekends. None of the guys on the team let me go to the Library with them after practice. Coach makes me go to class, or else play behind Chris fucking Bowers. I just don’t fit in, you see. I’m a freak. I spend all my time chasing you. You and your superficial pretty boy counterparts, with your clean jerseys, your waving locks of auburn hair. All I want is to catch you. Drag you down into the ground, make you taste the dirt that is my filthy, reprehensible existence. And I WILL catch you, Graham. That left tackle there? The crew-cut heifer who’s sworn away twenty years off of his strangled life, busting buffets, pushing sleds, lifting weights and pounding back protein to protect his precious Golden Boy? He’s a fucking suit. He’s corporate. He lines up inches from my wretched face, but he can’t know me. What was that move, he’ll ask? The one where I double-fake with my head, start to swim inside, then spin outside, leaving him standing there, a depleted mess of a man-mountain? Oh… don’t worry. It’s some move you’ve probably never heard of. You wouldn’t appreciate it the way I do. I am a fallen soul, Graham, but I can drag you down with me. Your victorious ride into the sunset is about to get wrecked. No bowl victory for you, Graham, no Texas gunslinger’s grand finale, no vapid blonde bimbo on your arm. I’m here to take all that away, Graham. I’m six foot five, 265 pounds, faster than some of your receivers, my dad hates me, and I haven’t taken my pills IN A FUCKING WEEK AND A HALF!!!!!!!! Your happiness ends here, Graham. I haven’t been this upset since The Dismemberment Plan sold out and signed a big record deal.

It reminds me of this poem:

two shots of hate from a mouth as loud as a gun,
like an assasin ... who does it for fun.

two deafening blows in a war that has just begun,
life gone away...i'm done.

two red roses sitting on my coffin, the wind blows, leaving only one
the world i know disappears...like the setting sun.

God, it makes my soul bleed. My heart is a blackness, LoveIsToTheDeath,

emo Greg Hardy

f0t0$h0ppe courtesy of the Ghost of Jay Cutler

RSCumor, and it's a BIG one

According to a source of ours who is very well connected to the football program, Greg Hardy is going to stay in Oxford for his senior season. Please, please, please let this be true, sports Gods. You absolutely owe us.

Post game tidbits

Whiskey Wednesday will (hopefully) deliver his usual, profanity-laden post game report as soon as he wakes from his somewhat comatose state. Until then, I'll give you these post game tidbits.

1. Terrence "Mount" Cody is an overrated pile of adipose tissue with skin stitched over it. He was certainly not the factor he's been made out to be. Also, we ruined his knee which is one of those things that makes you, as an Ole Miss fan, shamefully grin. We've gotta take 'em where we can get 'em. Below is some footage of Mount Cody in Tuscaloosa yesterday.


2. Jevan Snead stepped it up big time against the Tide. Those runs in the 4th quarter were ballsy and took real athleticism. He showed great arm strength and stood tall in the pocket despite fighting a tough uphill battle. The incomplete pass to end the game was likely a communication issue between he and McCluster. That's a nice segue into my next point...

3. Dexter, srsly... Don't throw the ball anymore. Stop fumbling. Ole Miss fans really love you. We at the Cup love you. But you've gotta stop ending crucial drives because of thoughtless slip-ups.

4. Greg Hardy wears special shoes? What the fuck is that all about? Considering his recent foot surgery it makes some sense, but just the idea of a big scary bastard like Hardy needing "special" footwear is silly and (honestly) kinda funny. Seriously though, he either doesn't give that much of a damn about his NFL prospects or is too full of himself to realize that he's pissing away big bucks with this kind of crap. As fans, we think Greg Hardy is great. Watching him really lay into quarterbacks is some of the most exciting stuff we Rebels have to look forward to every Saturday. But he needs to play with some effort if we're going to show him any more respect. Greg, if you're reading this, take a lesson from Patrick Willis' "school of giving NFL scouts a boner." The guy was the best linebacker in college football, yet still practiced and played like he was trying to earn a starting spot. NFL scouts love that kinda stuff and P Willie with his Bentleys, house on San Francisco bay, and platoon of ladyfriends can attest to that.

EDIT: For shiggles, I Google image searched "Special Shoes" and got these. If anybody sees any of these in or around Oxford, deliver 'em to Hardy because he's apparently misplaced his.



EDIT^2: Let's throw some YouTube in there, for good measure.

Dearest John Parker Wilson

What's that you've got over there? Yeah, there. You know, right there in your man-purse between the Axe Body Spray and Aquanet...

Ooooh, nice. Your hopes. Wow, let's see, you've got your SEC Title hopes, your BCS Title hopes and... what's that? Wow! Heisman hopes! Boy oh boy, Johnnie, those sure are nifty. It'd be a shame for something terrible to happen to them...

Hey, have you ever heard of Tim Tebow?

Ah, never mind. I don't wanna get off topic here.

So where were we? Ah yes, your hopes! Y'see, they don't mean a damned thing to me. This is because I've got my own hopes and dreams and, while not as lofty or widely known as yours, they're certainly just as, if not more, noble. Yes, noble; such as my goal of getting a fat-assed NFL paycheck in a few months or gettin' the skins from that fly-ass blonde chick in my exercise science class.

Oh, John, you have a future alright. You may have a brief stint in the NFL, marry whoever it is you get pregnant first, and end up coaching high school football in Homewood; but that's not what my future is gonna look like. No, not at all. For me, I'm either living the NFL glory life and Lawrence Tayloring your buddy Brodie every season or I'm selling Brent Schaeffer brand jackets (shiv included*) out of the back of a Ryder truck.

You want this. I need this.

I'm more ready for this than you could imagine. I've been doing my homework.** I've been studying my playbook. This bitch is gonna be on national tv which means that it's more on than it's ever been between the two of us. I'll be poppin' up outta trap doors like the tigers in Gladiator. I'll get all Nightcrawler out there in Tuscaloosa, flashing in and out-shazzam, shazoom-and then it's your ass that's eating turf. When the cameras are on, and the whole nation is watching, I'll turn this bitch all the way to ELEVEN!

Oh, and it's not just me. Peria Jerry, one of the other big sons-of-bitches that's going to drain your bladder, has been spending hours on end at the New Hunan. Nothing adds mass like Moo Goo Gai pan, motherfucker. Kentrell Lockett's been hurdlin' SEC East left tackles day after day with hopes of scrambling that Andre Smith fella's brain. Jerrell Powe's been ridin' his scooter all over the damn place lookin' like Bowser from Mario Kart with the biggest, angriest damn frown you've ever seen on his face. Mount Cody? He's Jerrell Powe's Goddamn foothill. Chris Bowers? He's been, you know, getting his degree 'n' shit.... so... Tillman! He's as angry as a handful of hornets and just about as crazy. I hope you're not allergic, you pansy.

Get 'cha popcorn ready.


Sincerely yours,

Gregory Hardy, Archduke of Sackenstein



P.S. - Fuck you. See attached.

This shit's funny to me, John!

*HT: RichardZinya
**Before you put some "OMG how could u write that??? :( WEAR RED!!1" in our comments thread do us all a favor and lighten up.

Is Greg Hardy out?

There are all kinds of rumors floating around concerning the status of Greg Hardy as an Ole Miss Rebel. We all know he is a major primadonna, but if the rumors of the team voting him off Survivor style are true then this has gotten way outta hand. Check out NAFOOM if you would like to read the thread concerning this.

We're likely not going to post something until it becomes made factually clear to us.

"What's that," you ask. "Integrity?"

No, not really. We're just lazy.

New Poll

The most recent poll has concluded. For those of you with shorter memories, this poll inquired as to how many sacks our defensive line would have by the Florida game. The winner was three which, beleive it or not, was nearly dead-on.

Our D-Lin had two-and-a-half sacks before Saturday... That's it. Only two-and-a-half sacks in four games. After the Florida game they had a total of five. The difference maker was, without any doubt, Greg "I'm on the cover of SI, what did you do this week?" Hardy.

Those are some nice Heisman hopes you've got there, Timmy.

This new poll will run until the picture of Ole Miss' post season hopefully becomes much, much clearer (let's, for simplicity's sake, say 4 weeks). This question is as follows:

Ole Miss' postseason will most-likely involve which bowl game?

Now get your ass (cursor?) over there and vote! Of course, as some of you may have guessed, the next few weeks of this blog will see a fair deal of hog slop so ignore the inevitable fact that "Ole Miss won't bowl" will be the poll's "winner."