A note to our beloved baseball coach....

Hey Mike Bianco, here's an idea! Hire Ron Polk! I know that sounds silly, but Polk has mentioned that he would like to return to baseball as a volunteer coach (which is the position Matt Mossberg currently holds). I think he is qualified:

1) There is probably not anyone who hates Mississippi State more right now than Ron Polk.

2) More CWS appearances as head coach than Mike Bianco can dream of. Also, he has taken 3 different teams to Omaha!

3) Has forgotten more about baseball than Mike Bianco knows.

4) Can get even the worst of teams to Omaha (read: 2007)

If you don't think this qualifies Ron to be our assistant, you are either lying or stupid.



Note: I didn't want to put a picture up of him in
his Mistake uniform. I actually kind of like UGA.

New Coach at MSU

The Mittittippi Tate Bulldogs are holding press conferences tomorrow to announce a new head coach for Bulldog Baseball. This comes from a very reliable source: the Clarion-Ledger Blog

"Press conference parade points to Cohen being the man (updated, 2:33 p.m.)
Posted 6/6/2008 2:25 PM CDT on clarionledger.com
Here's what The Blog can confirm right now, per MSU spokesman Mike Nemeth:

Mississippi State will hold a press conference at 1 p.m. tomorrow at the Bryan Building in Starkville "to name the next head baseball coach at Mississippi State," he said. MSU will hold another press conference at 5 p.m. tomorrow at the Mississippi Sports Hall of Fame and Museum in Jackson for the same purpose.

Now, we turn to the blog of Brett Dawson, who covers Kentucky for The (Louisville, Ky.) Courier-Journal.

Brett reports that UK has called a press conference at 3:30 p.m. CT, and the school is expected to name a new baseball coach at that time.

Can we now safely say that all signs point to John Cohen being named Mississippi State's next head coach?"

"Hi, I'm Ron, and I have a problem."

"Sometimes, son, all you can do is cry. But, remember, save some tears for Tuesday - we're gonna need 'em."



Something in Starkville smells like Dudy Noble.

This weekend, Vanderbilt, a team that provided the meatiest portion of the Rebels late nine-game win streak, scored not one, not two, but thirty-five runs on a beleaguered Bulldog team that is quickly becoming the Baylor Northwestern New Mexico State Mississippi State of Southeastern Conference Baseball.

This unhealthy beat-down was Vandy's first SEC road sweep since 1993. George W. Bush was still a coke-head the last time Vanderbilt swept a road series. Paula Abdul was sleeping with men her age the last time Vanderbilt swept a road series. Billy Brewer was the head football coach at Ole Miss the last time Vanderbilt swept a road series.

Considering the teen pregnancy rate in Mississippi, there are children alive right now (probably reading Red [REDACTED] Cup) whose parents weren't alive the last time Vanderbilt swept a road series. And this weekend, they did it by scoring thirty-five runs.

If Vanderbilt's runs this weekend were standard twelve-ounce cans of beer, Nick Nolte would be hammered a little buzzed.

And, to continue the use of metaphors, if Mississippi State's improbable run to the 2007 College World Series was the Blame It on the Rain of Ron Polk's career, the fantastic implosion of 2008 is probably this.

Oh, and by the way, the 14-21 Bulldogs face Ole Miss tomorrow night at Trustmark Park in Jackson Flowood for the Mayor's Governor's Cup. If the 'Dogs win, I'll stop believing in baseball.

Jackie Sherrill, Senior SEC Analyst for R[R]C, who was the head football coach at Mississippi State the last time Vanderbilt swept an SEC road series, said of Polk's disastrously sweet career-ending decline, "Don't give up, Ron. Driving Mississippi State athletic programs into the ground is a pleasant and rewarding experience - almost therapeutic. I endorse this practice with my highest regards."

What'd I Do?

Only a little over a week after kicking himself out of baseball generally, Mississippi State Head Coach Ron Polk was prematurely retired against his will from not one, not two, but three games in the weekend series against Kentucky in Lexington. Polk's ejectment was a fun fact unfortunately omitted from both the official Mississippi State Athletics press release and the article by The Clarion Ledger.

Of course, this comes as no surprise to long-time followers (not to say "fans") of Ron Polk. He comes from rambunctious stock. When asked about Polk's legendary temper RSC Senior SEC Analyst Jackie Sherrill, a former colleague of Polk's at Mississippi State, said, "He's fortunate that he's not as creative as me or there might have been to this day a great number of "fixed" SEC baseball officials.

Insider Analysis: Ron Polk Resigns

After the surprise resignation of Mississippi State University baseball coach Ron Polk on Thursday, many diamond-ball fans in the Magnolia State have wondered why the all-time winning coach in SEC baseball history is hanging up his pantaloons...again. Rumors abound, of course. Some posit that the 'Dogs embarrassing record might be a reason for Polk's decision to return to Munchkinland. Others point to Polk's on-going feud with the NCAA.

But those with first-hand experience know best.

The Cup's Senior SEC Insider Analyst Jackie Sherrill, former MSU head football coach and instructor in bovine husbandry, has the inside scoop:

Red [REDACTED] Cup: Coach Sherrill, you are well acquainted with the athletic program in Starkville, why do you think Coach Polk is finally retiring?

Jackie Sherrill: Well, there are a number of reasons, not the least of which is Starkville. I mean, a guy can only go to Mugshots so many times until he just gets tired of the smell there. And, the facilities are nice, but what with the free-grazing cheerleaders and all those retarded tree-houses in the outfield, it's next to impossible to keep the stadium in respectable shape. I don't know how he maintained the success he did without cheating.

R[R]C: Well said, good sir. Who do you think State will hire to replace Polk?

JS: Tough question. One difficulty State always has when it faces hiring situations like this is the long-standing tradition of employing funny-looking people. And, of course, they don't get much more funny-looking than Sylvester Croom, so finding someone that matches the hillarious physique of the other members of their athletic staff will be hard. I think they will also be looking for someone whose name is conducive to a demeaning catch-phrase. And, I know this guy isn't technically a baseball coach, but I can think of one man I'd love to see back in the SEC in practically any position.

R[R]C: Interesting. Any insight on what Coach Polk might do in retirement?

JS: Sure. I've talked to Coach Polk. I think his first priority is to spend some quality time with his family. As you might know, he hasn't seen them in 35 years, as they flat-out refused to ever enter the city limits of Starkville. I've also heard that he might rejoin the Lollipop Guild. I'm just just glad that he's getting out when the time is right. Some coaches just don't realize when it's time to go, and they end up running a program into the ground.

R[R]C: Like you did coach?

JS: Exactly.

R[R]C: Fantastic! Well, thanks for talking with us, coach. Take care!