More Gifts for the Obamas

After seeing the piece of luggage gifted to then-Senator Obama by our beloved university and how much our President appreciates it (see: just enough to actually use it) I decided that we should all pitch in and snag a few of the following for the Obama family:

For Michelle, a lovely set of bed linens and drapes. Trust me, Madame First Lady, they look much better with the lights off. ;) ;) :P
For Sasha and Malia, a pair of terrific backpacks! Now you can carry all of your schoolbooks in style! Whoah! Slow down there girls, don't fight over 'em! There are plenty of backpacks to go around!
And for Barack we'd like to gift a t-shirt to commemorate the weekend of the Presidential Debate at Ole Miss!

Send any and all thank you letters stimulus checks to Andy Kennedy's defense team.



P.S. - Damn, I hate our marketing department.

Saturday Evening Scrimmage Report

Today's scrimmage in Vaught-Hemingway was certainly a let down. While many players had good days and showed great potential, an upsetting large majority of the scrimmage was dedicated to third team vs. third team plays which is pretty damned boring. Here are our notes:

1. Jevan Snead didn't throw very much. He was only in for a couple of drives and most of the plays called during his drives were either runs or short pass plays. The same goes for Tapp. Stanley was in for a half-dozen drives or so and threw a great deal more than the other quarterbacks. He was mediocre as he threw a few picks (at least one was most certainly the fault of the receiver) and occassionally underthrew his targets.

2. All of the runningbacks had great days. Brandon Bolden and Devin Thomas got a lot of reps and both ran very hard. Bolden played especially well as he continued to demonstrate just how hard he can be to bring down.

3. Andrew Harris, while currently on the third team, showed incredible athleticism and was able to evade several defenders after the catch. Yeah, the defenders were also third teamers, but some of the moves he made took a great deal of skill.

4. I saw no fewer than three different t-shirts which utilized some sort of Houston Nutt related pun. Everything from "The Rebels are NUTTY" to "Welcome to the NUTT HOUSE" is seemingly printed on a t-shirt. Thankfully I saw nobody older than 13 wearing one of these shirts but I was still a bit disappointed. Seriously everyone, stop buying these damned things.

5. Jerrell Powe was a wrecking ball out there, against an offensive line made of walk-ons and freshmen. We, as a fan base, have shamefully hyped this kid to mythical heights. He's got potential and most certainly can contribute on our defensive front, but he's no messiah. During the scrimmage he got an encroachment penalty called against him for jumping the snap early and knocking Billy Tapp (who was wearing a red jersey) to the ground. Shortly after this penalty, several hundred people cheered, clapped, et cetera. One woman in my viscinity even said she was "glad to have him here." What the Hell, people? He committed a damned penalty and knocked over a guy who he wasn't even supposed to touch. That is absolutely nothing to cheer over.

6. Joshua Shene did not miss a single field goal. Being as how we haven't had a seriously capable kicker in several seasons, it would be nice to see Shene show up as a true special teams weapon this fall.

7. Jeremy McGee took a big hit and was escorted off of the field after being attended to for a couple of minutes. Hopefully he's alright.


Honestly, that's about it. Having third teamers practice against one another does not really lend to noteworthy practices or detailed and relevant practice reports. I understand that the coaches didn't want to have a lot of potential starters out there in order to avoid the injury bug so I'll forgive them, this time.

Nutty jokes have made their way to Starkville

Per NAFOOM:


This t-shirt was sold at a recent Jackson area Mississippi State alumni event. If you have yet to read our power rankings of the SEC fanbases (shame on you), check out number two and tell me I wasn't dead fucking on with that one.

If you see someone wearing this shirt, be sure to let them know just how much of a moron they are for dropping a Hamilton on it.

Black Bears?

I've seen a lot of posts on message boards (OMSB) about changing our mascot to the black bears. Seriously, almost every visible post on the board is a suggestion of how we should change our mascot. Because of the whole crappy athletic department t-shirt thing we have going at Ole Miss and on this blog, I thought I might show you the reason that we shouldn't change to any of these. Click on the t-shirt designs for necessary biggification.

Black Bears

Labs

Rough Riders

Catfish

As you can see, no matter what our mascot's name is, there will always be these ridiculous sayings. That's why we should be the Ole Miss flood... then the worst you get is this...



Wow... on second thought... maybe we should just stick to the Rebels...

T-SHIRTS!

It's at least possible that some or all of these already exist. As previously referenced, there is literally no limit to the shenanigans possible when college football fans release their creative juices on innocent casual wear.

Now, the most common name-pun tee is the one that takes an otherwise common colloquialism that includes some element of the head coach's name and implies success on the gridiron. See Exhibit A:


The less common type is the sexual innuendo tee. These are not as marketable because grandparents are especially susceptible to name/pun/tee predators. These tees are funny, but you would feel uncomfortable if you saw Mrs. Paterno wearing one. See Exhibit B:


This final type is the antagonistic tee. The example below is not a traditional name-pun tee, but it accurately represents a distasteful sentiment toward a certain team and/or coach. See Exhibit C:

Thanks for ruining my day, Pete Boone/Doyle Jackson

I woke up today to this shit in my inbox.  I go check NAFOOM, and it's there too.  I even got a smart-assed Facebook message (yeah, I'm 16) about it.  Of course I'm crazy (dare I say, nuts) about Ole Miss football and I'm very excited about the arrival of Coach Nutt but, as all of you know, I'm about ready to hang myself over these puns.

And, if that's not bad enough, CSS was showing this last season's Alabama game on replay. I know it's rather masochistic of me to have sat there and watched it, but I did.  Seeing us work our way down field by converting multiple 4th downs just to have Nick Saban and that asshole referee snatch it away from us made me sick to my stomach.  

One final note: I love the Lexington brothers. They're right, it is OK to hate Doyle Jackson.