Bobbie Massie Spurns Alabama, Incites Riots...

...and likely subsequently gave very little of a fuck about it. You can't scare Bobbie Massie.



HT: RidgeReb of NAFOOM

Ole Miss at 'Bama: A game the Rebels might steal

Alabama doesn't have a fantastic basketball team this year, but neither does Ole Miss, especially after losing players to every knee injury imaginable. Our luck could only improve if another player doesn't go down before the year is out. 

Alabama lost their first regular season game of the year to the Mercer Bears from the Atlantic Sun conference. No kidding. It's not the first time the Tide has fallen to an A-Sun team as they fell to the Belmont Bears 85-83 last season. Mark Gottfried needs to lose his damn job just because of those two losses. Seriously, don't lose to private Southern Baptist funded schools in basketball when you're in the SEC, jackass. That's like losing to an intramural team...lots of short white guys chucking threes like Jeff Hornacek. I bet you forgot about that guy.

Starting for the Crimson Tide:

Alonzo Gee- leads team in scoring and rebounds

Senario Hillman- throws up more threes than anyone except Ronald Steele, but only shoots 18% from behind the arc

Ronald Steele- 38% from 3 point land and averages 12 ppg

JaMychal Green- leads team in blocked shots

Justin Knox- averages 20 min/game

Mikhail Torrence(did they draw letters out of a hat to get this first name?) comes off the bench and is a spark plug for the team.

Ole Miss has had back to back spectacular appearances from Terrico White. I think it's way past time to anoint him as the starting point guard for the rest of the season. 'Bama, like many other teams this year, will outrebound the Rebels as our big men are still learning how to play at a higher level. Murphy Holloway is showing some signs of talent and promise for the future. Hopefully, he'll get a little more consistent and not wait until we're down by 28 to start making plays.

I've been to Alabama for a basketball game before and their fans are pretty apathetic towards basketball. The students wear houndstooth basketball shorts and all kinds of ridiculous attire to show their support. If you look closely, you can see one fan yawning from boredom. PUT ON SOME DAMN PADS AND HIT SOMEBODY!!! ROLL TAHD!!!! 

Their crowd won't be very into this game because:

1.) It's Wednesday and the crowd won't be there.

2.) They're playing Ole Miss and expect to win.

Final score prediction: Alabama 74 Ole Miss 66

SEC West Grades

The grades are in. All over the SEC blogosphere, our seasons are being commented on and criticized and it's about time for the Red [REDACTED] Cup to jump in. The SEC West is today and the SEC East will come sometime after the BCS Championship Game.

Alabama: A

Nobody expected Alabama to go 12-0. Nobody. You Tiders all clamored on and on about how "Bama was BACK" and "motherfucking roll motherfucking TAHD" but we didn't listen.

"John Parker Wilson is still your quarterback, remember?"

"You really think a freshman wide receiver makes that much of a difference?"

"Haven't you been 'back' every preseason for the last few years now?"

Well, kudos, Bama fans. While a roster made up of mostly paraplegics and small children would have garnered a 12-0 prediction from a slew of your faithful, you've still earned your due credit. The lack of a plus to accompany your "A" is obviously due to your losses in the SEC Championship Game and Sugar Bowl. Thanks for pouring more gasoline on the already trite "OMFG teh BCS suxx" fire and giving people reason to badmouth the SEC, jackasses.

Next season should see some dropoff for the Tide as they lose two All-American offensive linemen and their three-year starter at quarterback. However, despite these losses, Alabama will be favored by many to win the West once more.

Ole Miss: A-

Obviously, I'm a homer. Pointing that out in the comments would be akin to letting everyone here know that the sun will rise over the eastern horizon tomorrow morning. Save us all the time.

Ok, now, on with the explanation: based primarily on preseason expectations and how well they stack up against the season's actual results, it's hard to give Ole Miss a lower grade. While the losses to Wake Forest, Vanderbilt, and South Carolina still make my head asplode, the six-straight victories to end the season (with each victory literally being more impressive than the previous) made it clear to everyone that this Rebel season was a work in progress. The Rebels who won the Cotton Bowl would certainly defeat Wake Forest, Vandy, and South Carolina on any field, neutral or not. They'd hang tough with Alabama and, as ironic as it may be, more than likely lose to Florida.

Remember? Tebow, tears, "won't lose again," etc? Ole Miss is the reason the SEC will take home it's third BCS title in a row.

This is a good Ole Miss team. Hopefully the success to end this season can be used as momentum into the upcoming season. Double-digit regular season wins should be attainable for the 2009 Rebel squad.

LSU: C+

The Tigers should not have lost five games. While a close loss to Bama is respectable, being on the receiving end of a Georgia Bulldog blowout isn't. Jarrett Lee proved to be one of the conferences most successful touchdown passers but, unfortunately, he wasn't very discriminatory as to whose team was scoring the touchdown. Jordan Jefferson looked much better towards the end of the season and the mudhole-stomping defeat of Georgia Tech in the Peach (Chik-Fil-A, I love you, but don't mess with our bowls) Bowl should give LSU hope for a win or two more next season. Also, former Volunteer John Chavis should have LSU's relatively weak 2008 defense in much better shape for 2009.

Arkansas: C-

When the season began, everybody was pretty sure that you were going to suck. Thank you for not disappointing.

Arkansas' season was, in many ways, akin to Ole Miss'. They started poorly, nearly losing to directional-Illindianachigan or something like that and ULM but finished on a somewhat strong note by defeating LSU on a neutral site. Over the course of the season, Arkansas' offense became one of the SEC's best, with Casey Dick putting up respectable numbers and Michael Smith earning ALL-Sec honors at tailback.

But why a "C?" Well, as I said before, nobody expected much out of the Hogs this season and, if Ryan Mallett can be the quarterback the Fayetteville wacky-asses Faithful hope for Arkansas should be much improved next season.

Mississippi State: F+

Thank God for this season. I was getting incredibly fed up with folks in Starkville talking about how "Nutt'n good happens in Oxford" and how Croom was somehow going to win them an SEC title.

We at the Cup have been saying for quite a while that Sly Croom wasn't much of a coach and, finally, the world realized the clarity of our truth. His Gulf Coast offense continued to put up paltry numbers and his defense failed to force turnovers.

Their F gets a plus because they did beat a top-25 team in Vanderbilt, knocking them off of their wacky hotstreak, and earned a much less impressive win over Arkansas. The jury is still out on Dan Mullen as far as gameday coaching is concerned, but he's done a fair job keeping most of the talent Croom had recruited for this upcoming class.

Auburn: If the analogy lent to the use of letters past F, one of them would apply here

Hiring Tony Franklin, only to have him fired before the season's end because Kodi Burns isn't all he's been cracked up to be, really set the stage for the debacle of Auburn's head coaching search. Tommy Tuberville has been disliked by the GOB's in charge on the Plains for quite some time now (remember that whole Bobby Petrino fiasco a few years ago?) and, once both parties were equally fed up with one another, they finally were able to part ways.

Both of these coaching situations made it apparent to coaches across America that if you can't deliver on exorbitantly outrageous goals set forth by a group of bitter, old white guys you won't last long at Auburn, nor will you enjoy your time there. If that weren't the case, they would have hired someone just a hair better than the worst coach in the Big XII.

Hey, at least Arkansas fans have convinced themselves that you're going to soon be badass! Granted, it really has nothing to do with your players, school, or coaches outside of Gus Malzhan but, in times like these, you'll take what you can get.

Auburn could win anywhere from 4 to 8 games next season for two reasons: they're Auburn, and they're Auburn. The situation there is so messy that it's incredibly difficult to prognosticate but they've got the talent on both sides of the ball to make some things happen.

SEC Power Poll All-SEC Team: Terrence Cody, presented by Sir Issac Newton

If ye ever discover thyself so braeve as to delve into mine Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica, ye will not conclude my fascination with one Lord Terrence of Cody to be unusual. For, as a scholar of the most basic physical characteristics of all worldly mass, Terrence of Cody affords me both incredible excitement and luxurie.

Please, allow me, if you could, to explain. In the physical scientificum, "masse" refers to the degree of acceleration a body could acquire when subject to a force. Within this realme, acceleration is the term which describes the changes in velocity over time. In the purest words, we compute this value by calculating the derived form of velocity with respect to time, or equivalently as the second derivative of position. This is, quite natureally, a vectored quantitie.

Ah but, prithee do observe my faire student, I have yet to divulge into the mystical combination thereof: FORCE! Of upmost importance, force is that which can cause an object with masse to accelerate. Of course, the sciences surrounding this "force" are still so premature that a measurable unit thereof has yet to be assigned a proper, noble nomenclature!

Lord Terrence of Cody exploites his victimes through the unmerciful use of one of the most fear-inducing levels of force on the fields of battle. He possesses in a set the powerful combination of masse and acceleration which, as even the most plebian of plebians could observe, would naturally lead to Earth shattering force. Here, read my formulations:


Lord Terrence of Cody therefore becomes, as you vilest of men from the newest of worldes would have him referred in your most peculiare vernacular, "one scary motherfucker." If the words surrounding his desires to remain on the noble fields of Tuscaloosa are indeed of integrous fiber then his myraid of foes ought greatly to fear their darkened fates.

Lord Terrance of Cody, inspiration of the unwashed, huzzah to thee, sire!
(ed: Cody was a unanimous selection to this poll)

I'm a big Ole Miss fan... but damn.

So... apparently, against all odds, Alabama fans are actually CRAZIER than we believed.

I don't want to poke fun at what was obviously a sick, sick thing happening. I mean, two people died. That's just insane. What brings someone to do that? While trying to avoid too much humor, I can't fathom how the conversation went.

LSU fan: Well, y'all won, but we sure did put up a fight.

Bama fan: Bear Bryant would have won by more points over that faggot quarterback y'all have down there.

LSU fan: Take that back, or I'll shoot you.

Bama fan: Too late. BLAM.

I mean, if my everyday life contained the possibility of being shot whenever I insulted someone or felt insulted, I would be dead. Also, I would move.

It's things like this that give the South the reputation it has for its obsessed fans, and in this instance, they're very right. Alabama fans, you may not be crazier than Arkansas fans, but you're close.

Late Report from Bryant-Denney

I have a great many observations to make about the gameday experience of Tuscaloosa, for those who have never had one. First of all, I need to congratulate the Tide on their exceedingly loose enforcement of the Southeastern Conference's ban on alcohol in stadiums. Bravo, Alabama. Because of my experiences in Vaught-Hemingway, I walked cautiously toward Gate 30 with my student guest ticket, noting security guards perfunctorily request every sixth or seventh ticket-holder to raise his pant leg. I had chosen the time-honored "pint at the small of my back routine" and stuck my shaker in my belt.

The disadvantage, obviously, was that many of the 92,000 Tide fans found themselves absolutely wasted at this game, including the most obnoxious football fan with which I have ever had the misfortune of gameday contact. I noted that he must be an Alpha Kappa Lambda because he occasionally held a corner of the AKL flag brought into the stadium, a practice I thought to be totally NF.
Frat, brah! Uh-uh-uh!

His crimson and white pom-pom whisked often near my head, and he must have told me how terrible the Rebels were at football after every Glen Coffee two-yard run. I cannot say that I was exceptionally pleased. I cannot, though, pretend as if he were the norm. I sat in the student section, and the vast majority of fans there were rational, even hospitable. I am absolutely used to homer fans that tell me after a Rebel "moral" victory how tough we played, but even when Jevan Snead was leading what I, ultimately knew, would be a disappointing final drive, 'Bama undergraduates were complimenting Snead and our running back by committee (never thought I'd mention that positively). It makes sense, though. The vast majority of obnoxious Alabama fans are, I feel certain, the high school dropout type that never darkened the doors of any university facility besides Bryant-Denney; the type that haven't even entered the Bear Bryant Museum because it's called a "museum."

Good experience. Not the most disappointing game.

Post game tidbits

Whiskey Wednesday will (hopefully) deliver his usual, profanity-laden post game report as soon as he wakes from his somewhat comatose state. Until then, I'll give you these post game tidbits.

1. Terrence "Mount" Cody is an overrated pile of adipose tissue with skin stitched over it. He was certainly not the factor he's been made out to be. Also, we ruined his knee which is one of those things that makes you, as an Ole Miss fan, shamefully grin. We've gotta take 'em where we can get 'em. Below is some footage of Mount Cody in Tuscaloosa yesterday.


2. Jevan Snead stepped it up big time against the Tide. Those runs in the 4th quarter were ballsy and took real athleticism. He showed great arm strength and stood tall in the pocket despite fighting a tough uphill battle. The incomplete pass to end the game was likely a communication issue between he and McCluster. That's a nice segue into my next point...

3. Dexter, srsly... Don't throw the ball anymore. Stop fumbling. Ole Miss fans really love you. We at the Cup love you. But you've gotta stop ending crucial drives because of thoughtless slip-ups.

4. Greg Hardy wears special shoes? What the fuck is that all about? Considering his recent foot surgery it makes some sense, but just the idea of a big scary bastard like Hardy needing "special" footwear is silly and (honestly) kinda funny. Seriously though, he either doesn't give that much of a damn about his NFL prospects or is too full of himself to realize that he's pissing away big bucks with this kind of crap. As fans, we think Greg Hardy is great. Watching him really lay into quarterbacks is some of the most exciting stuff we Rebels have to look forward to every Saturday. But he needs to play with some effort if we're going to show him any more respect. Greg, if you're reading this, take a lesson from Patrick Willis' "school of giving NFL scouts a boner." The guy was the best linebacker in college football, yet still practiced and played like he was trying to earn a starting spot. NFL scouts love that kinda stuff and P Willie with his Bentleys, house on San Francisco bay, and platoon of ladyfriends can attest to that.

EDIT: For shiggles, I Google image searched "Special Shoes" and got these. If anybody sees any of these in or around Oxford, deliver 'em to Hardy because he's apparently misplaced his.



EDIT^2: Let's throw some YouTube in there, for good measure.

5 Keys to Beating Alabama.

Do you remember our 5 keys to beating Ole Miss? Well that was a part of a link exchange we're doing this week with the Bama Sports Report. Would you like to see the 5 keys to beating the Tide? Clicky clicky.

Beat Alabama - Part IV (Fresh Wounds)

The spin that everyone is missing in examining the Ole Miss-Alabama game is that the Rebels feel entitled.

Well, not everyone is missing it.

Moreso than Mississippi State or LSU, the Rebel playmakers - Oher, Hardy, McCluster - feel entitled to a win over #2 Alabama. They must want it, and they surely deserve it. The wound is still fresh.

Media outlets across the country have noted with the glee often accompanying an obscure statistic that the Rebels - "somehow," they must be saying to themselves - have been bested by three points in each of the previous three contests against the Tide. That statistic is, put lightly, less than obscure among we, the faithful.

Emotion, obviously, can only make the difference in a game where the teams are reasonably evenly matched. And, even then, a little luck is additionally required. One or both of these teams is a little lucky. Perhaps, it is the Crimson Tide, who appear to have the closest thing to an easy schedule in the SEC. Or, perhaps, it is the Ole Miss Rebels, who find themselves perched near respectability despite myriad blunders.

The Rebels will no doubt call it "just another tough SEC game" in the papers. No need to fan Alabama's flames. Nevertheless, the man who strives, who sweats, who claws only to land just short once, and then again, and then, illegitimately, even a third time will, naturally, be motivated in a way that the repeated victor by the razor thin margin can never grasp.

It's the way the Tide must have felt when Tuberville raised the index finger on his second hand and the way Florida must be stewing over the infamous Jacksonville celebration of 2007. But, then again, the Tide no doubt felt the same way when Tommy raised that fifth finger, and that didn't stop the Plainsmen. Similarly the Gators must have wanted to taste a little blood in the remainder of their 2007 cocktail, but never drew it. So, emotion will not be the determining factor for the intelligent wagerer.

Nevertheless, it brings no small measure of entertainment (at least from now until Saturday) to engage in a time-honored tradition, passed down through SEC generations - hating Alabama.

Dearest John Parker Wilson

What's that you've got over there? Yeah, there. You know, right there in your man-purse between the Axe Body Spray and Aquanet...

Ooooh, nice. Your hopes. Wow, let's see, you've got your SEC Title hopes, your BCS Title hopes and... what's that? Wow! Heisman hopes! Boy oh boy, Johnnie, those sure are nifty. It'd be a shame for something terrible to happen to them...

Hey, have you ever heard of Tim Tebow?

Ah, never mind. I don't wanna get off topic here.

So where were we? Ah yes, your hopes! Y'see, they don't mean a damned thing to me. This is because I've got my own hopes and dreams and, while not as lofty or widely known as yours, they're certainly just as, if not more, noble. Yes, noble; such as my goal of getting a fat-assed NFL paycheck in a few months or gettin' the skins from that fly-ass blonde chick in my exercise science class.

Oh, John, you have a future alright. You may have a brief stint in the NFL, marry whoever it is you get pregnant first, and end up coaching high school football in Homewood; but that's not what my future is gonna look like. No, not at all. For me, I'm either living the NFL glory life and Lawrence Tayloring your buddy Brodie every season or I'm selling Brent Schaeffer brand jackets (shiv included*) out of the back of a Ryder truck.

You want this. I need this.

I'm more ready for this than you could imagine. I've been doing my homework.** I've been studying my playbook. This bitch is gonna be on national tv which means that it's more on than it's ever been between the two of us. I'll be poppin' up outta trap doors like the tigers in Gladiator. I'll get all Nightcrawler out there in Tuscaloosa, flashing in and out-shazzam, shazoom-and then it's your ass that's eating turf. When the cameras are on, and the whole nation is watching, I'll turn this bitch all the way to ELEVEN!

Oh, and it's not just me. Peria Jerry, one of the other big sons-of-bitches that's going to drain your bladder, has been spending hours on end at the New Hunan. Nothing adds mass like Moo Goo Gai pan, motherfucker. Kentrell Lockett's been hurdlin' SEC East left tackles day after day with hopes of scrambling that Andre Smith fella's brain. Jerrell Powe's been ridin' his scooter all over the damn place lookin' like Bowser from Mario Kart with the biggest, angriest damn frown you've ever seen on his face. Mount Cody? He's Jerrell Powe's Goddamn foothill. Chris Bowers? He's been, you know, getting his degree 'n' shit.... so... Tillman! He's as angry as a handful of hornets and just about as crazy. I hope you're not allergic, you pansy.

Get 'cha popcorn ready.


Sincerely yours,

Gregory Hardy, Archduke of Sackenstein



P.S. - Fuck you. See attached.

This shit's funny to me, John!

*HT: RichardZinya
**Before you put some "OMG how could u write that??? :( WEAR RED!!1" in our comments thread do us all a favor and lighten up.

Beat Alabama - Part III (Is Alabama Overrated?)

Hopefully that title will be posted on Alabama message boards far and wide, expanding the reaches of the Red [REDACTED] Cup.

The answer, though, is, "Probably, no."

I say "probably" because it obviously hinges entirely on what one thinks about this Tide team. If one is an Alabama fan that looks at the remaining schedule for the Tide, sees only an LSU team that got trounced in the Swamp this weekend, and, consequently, feels entitled to an undefeated national championship season, then, yes, I think one's expectations might be a bit lofty.

If one looks at the starting roster for the Tide and boldly asks, "What weaknesses have we?" then, likely, one might be overrating the Tide a bit. Previously mistake-prone quarterback John Parker Wilson has been largely error free. Is this a sign of maturity, or a sign that he's due? Andre Smith, the sophomore, is leading a surprisingly dominant offensive line. But the opponents against whom it has been best exhibited, Clemson and Georgia, have not been lauded for their power or speed up front. Admittedly, Alabama didn't have to play its best ball against Kentucky, Tulane, or (in the second half) Georgia, but that admission does not erase the fact that in those circumstances, Alabama looked exceedingly mortal. So, either this team is inconsistent, or Coach Saban is taking his foot off the pedal now and then.

The point is Alabama has questions. I'll try not to step all over the upcoming preview feature, but those question include things like:

• Why are they down in the pass defense cellar with the Rebels at 211 and 228 yards per game, respectively?
• What effect will a kickoff coverage team with one touchback have against the best kickoff returner in the conference?
• Why has your, supposedly, dominant offensive line allowed three more sacks than has the Rebel line?
  

I don't mean to insinuate that the Rebels have some statistical advantage against Alabama. In most respects, they are the statistically superior team. And in the only statistic that counts - wins and losses - Alabama is holding court as the only remaining unbeaten in the Southeastern Conference. That means something.

Tide fans, though, for their own health, should not excise the memory of the 2005 season in which "'Bama was back" under Mike Shula (though, apparently like Aslan or Galactus they came and went seemingly irrationally) with an 8-0 start. That team's strengths were drastically different from this edition's. Yet, like the 2008 team, the 2005 Tide was talented but not deep. The loss of a playmaker (in 2005 Tyrone Prothro; in 2008, potentially Wilson or Coffee) could dramatically alter the course of the season. Not unlike the Rebels, the Tide seem to live and die by a select group of players.

Overrated? Certainly not. Let it never be said that I accused their strong resume of being inflated. But dominant? The claim cannot be made. Unbeatable? Quite a shaky contention. A more learned questioner might offer two queries: Will this team lose at some point? Probably. Will that point come this weekend? I'll defer to my honorable colleagues, those who will compose the Friday preview.

5 Keys to Beating the Ole Miss Rebels

1. Throw the ball on first, second, third and fourth down.
This just in. The last time that Ole Miss could effectively stop the pass was when Ken Lucas was playing corner for us. That was a long time ago. Every time the ball is in the air, I get scared. We had to convert a running back and a wide receiver to cornerback just to get “four deep” at the position. I put four deep in quotation marks because there’s only one player who I like at corner, Dustin Mouzon, and he doesn’t even start.
Seriously, our secondary made Chris Smelley look like Jevan Snead was hyped to look. I shudder to think about what JPW will do against us.

2. Stop Dexter McCluster
McCluster is our entire offense. If you can stop him, you can stop us. Unfortunately, McCluster is a player by whom we live and die. The biggest playmaker on the team with the ball in his hands, McCluster is a budding SEC star.
If you can somehow take McCluster out of the equation, you remove most of the YAC yardage that Jevan has. Absent a deep pass to Shay or Mike, we’ve got no playmakers other than McCluster. Sure, other players have had moments, but when it’s 3rd and 8, I want to throw to Dexter McCluster underneath and let him pick up the first.

3. You don’t have to disguise blitzes.
Jevan Snead appears to be unable to spot blitzes even when defenses leave him with plenty of time to change plays. He just snaps the ball, gets flustered and has to throw it away.
Really. How many times have we seen a linebacker or corner creep up to the line with ten seconds left on the play clock only to see Jevan fail to adjust and end up with a blitzing defender right in his face? Sure. If the called play is a screen, this is a great situation. If it’s a play action pass though, this is terrible. He has to pay attention to the opposing defense to make that next step.

4. Double team Greg Hardy and Peria Jerry.
Yeah. I know that means you have to block Hardy with an OT and a TE, but that’s just what you’re going to have to do. I don’t care if Andre Smith is God’s gift to man. He can’t take Greg Hardy one on one for an entire game.
But Hardy, as you know, isn’t the only one to worry about. Peria Jerry is a monster this season. I would like to see a defensive line with Greg Hardy, Peria Jerry, Jerrell Powe and Kentrell Lockett. The speed/size combination there would be strong enough to get through any offensive line.

5. Show up to the stadium.
We have beaten Alabama twice in Tuscaloosa. Twice. With the rebels’ inability to win games against teams with equal talent, it’s extremely unlikely that Ole Miss could take the superiorly talented Crimson Tide. I feel like Alabama only has to attend the game to win. If I end up eating my words for some reason, I’ll be absolutely thrilled, but it’s not going to happen.

Tuesday Question

Generally, we are the "authors" of "content" around here - "here" being a blog and not a message board. Recognize, we do, that you've come here not to contribute, but to consume. Nevertheless, there is the sporadic occasion where, either for our benefit or for to exercise the thinkifiers of the masses, we ask you a question. Today's question is ...

Why has John Parker Wilson failed to totally screw up a game so far?

Say what you will about Sarah Jessica Parker Wilson (I say that he cares more about his 'Bama bangs and that cute boy in Chemistry class than he does about SEC football), but to this point, the hero of the 2007 UL-Monroe game has yet to totally blow it. He has managed games and gotten the ball to playmakers, letting Glen Coffee provide the perk in Alabama's offense. This is not to say, JP has been Craig Krenzel. He has 853 passing yards on the season, and only 9 fewer completions that his counter-part for this weekend, Jevan Snead. The really surprising statistic, though, is that Wilson has only thrown 2 interceptions. And, I hate to break it to the Rebs, but he actually has a better completion percentage (59.8) than Snead (55.2).

In fact, Jevan's current statistics are pretty similar to Wilson's 2007 campaign, thus far. In 2007, JP completed 55.2% of his passes (OMG, it's the exact same! LOL!), and averaged 218 yards passing (compared with Jevan's 212, so far).

So, what gives? What can the Rebels do to force some mistakes by the senior?

Bama Hate Week - YouTube!

Have you a few minutes to kill? Are you an Ole Miss fan? Do you hate Alabama? Perfect! This should brighten your day a little bit.

HT: BHamReb


This makes me kinda sad. You know this motherfucker likely has kids to feed and, instead of buying groceries 'n' shit, he put a few grand worth of horribly drawn ink in his body.


Trey Parker and Matt Stone get it.


The shrill shriek of a banshee is exactly what expect to hear at a football game.


No comment (NOTE: Shitty extraneous background music. Our apologies.)

If you've got some, leave 'em in the comments box. This could get fun, fast.

Beat Alabama - Part II (Reasons Alabama is Overrated Depicted in Word Puzzles)

This first word puzzle is a bit of a confidence-builder. Like getting fair calls from officials during games against Alabama, the difficulty increases as the game progresses.

Word Puzzle #1: What is the number one reason Alabama is totally overrated?

Answer: Tommy Bowden!

Okay, so that one was pretty easy. Here's one that is a little more difficult:

Word Puzzle #2: What is the number two reason Alabama is totally overrated?


's
MINUS "ROCK FROM THE SUN."

Beat Alabama - Part I

To the tune of "Yea, Alabama!"

Beat, Alabama! Screw the Tide!
All of 'Bama fan's are nut-jobs;
We've not lied!
Go get a tatoo of the Bear,
And, if you believe in Saban, please beware
that if Detroit has an opening,
He could bolt!
A thousand dressed in t-shirts
'Bout recruiting might revolt!
On 'Bama don't bet the condo,
Remember the game versus Monroe!
Hey! You're overdue,
For a slide,
A Rebel check of pride, Crimson Tide!
ROLL TIDE! ROLL TIIIIIIDE!

Corralling the West, Week 1

We won. You should know this by now. More to come later whenever Whiskey Wednesday shakes off his hangover.

They're also the third best engineering program in all of Louisiana!  You know how a lot of teams like to schedule division II (screw whatever they're called nowadays, that shit is stupid), mid-major, or low-level BCS teams for their opening games?  You know, for a sorta faux-preseason stat-padder to ease the fans and players into the season?  A sure win and what-not?  Well, not so much.  It's ok State, they were the 91st best defense in football last year which, as Wesley Carroll can tell you, is certainly more than enough to make the game competitive.  Coach CroomS has just shown the Bulldog faithful exactly how one earns a raise + contract extension in Starkville.

Not so fast, Hogs.  You're on notice, Arkansas.  Of course, you won and you've gotta get whatever credit is due for that... but Western Illinois?  Seriously?  Would Nutt have trailed them in the 4th quarter with whatever athletes are up in Fayetteville?  But hey, Casey Dick thew the ball 41 times which is exactly what you crazy assholes wanted in the first place, right?

The Big Ten is horrible.  LSU, in a much more roundabout manner, proved this once again last night by downing Appalachian State with an ease that Michigan couldn't.  Michigan, the winningest football team in the HISTORY OF FOOTBALL dropped a season opener again yesterday, this time to the Utah Utes.

It's ok to hate Nick Saban.  Damn you, Bama.  I wanted to you to lose and lose bad but, instead, you showed that you may be a true candidate to represent the West in Atlanta.  I know it's early for these kinds of things, but they seriously shut Clemson down big time and proved that their preseason ranking of 24 wasn't undeserved.  

Speaking of Bama and upset victories.  Auburn beat ULM the way they're supposed to be beaten making the hearts of many a Bama fan weep deep, deep down inside their chest cavity (just past the adipose tissue).

11 Days until Kickoff

Memory lane for the last four years of Rebel football has been filled with construction delays and potholes. After a day's absence, we continue the countdown with the 12th and 11th worst moments of the last four years.

12th Worst Moment of the Last Four Years: 2004 Loss at Alabama, 28-7

ESPN 2 chose to televise this thorough beat down of our beloved Rebels. It should have been on the Ocho. I was in attendance for game two of the post-Eli era, and after losing our opening game to Memphis, I was hoping we would at least give the Tide a good game. The Rebels have about as much success in Tuscaloosa as Dennis Miller has in Starkville. 

Ethan Flatt sparked the Rebel offense to their only touchdown that day while Michael Spurlock had a tough day throwing roughly a baker's dozen interceptions. 'Bama burned down the clock once they had a 21 point lead and ended up taking a knee inside the five yard line as time expired. That's how bad they felt for our team...and it's 'Bama, 'nuff said. 

11th Worst Moment of the Last Four Years: 2004 Matt Jones and Arkansas deal 32 point loss to Rebels

I hate to post this just because of how ravenous Arkansas fans are for any positive press to use in their propaganda towards convincing themselves and others that they could still make a national title run. But here it is for all to see.

SEC Traditions: The Best and Worst - Alabama

Alabama is rife with tradition. legacy, fanfare, and history. How on earth can one pick a single "best" and a single "worst?"

Actually, it's quite easy. They're one in the same.

Best Tradition: Paul W. "Bear" Bryant. He is the greatest coach in the history of college, nay, all of football. He won conference championships at three different schools and national championships at two. His successes are synonymous with the Alabama Crimson Tide and one cannot begin to mention the history and tradition of the SEC without mentioning Bryant. Honestly, is anyone surprised that The Bear's victories would be named as Alabama's best tradition?

Worst Tradition: Paul W. "Bear" Bryant and the worship thereof. Just look at this picture on the right. The sad thing is that this guy thinks his tattoo was the most badass couple grand he's ever spent. "Fuck groceries! I need the Bahr on mah back!" Sure, it's neat to pridefully wear Coach Bryant's signature houndstooth hat and he most certainly deserves to have a museum erected in his honor, but seriously, the guy is dead. Let him rest in peace. He undoubetdly has earned respect and reverence, but not a religiously fervent following.

Another problem I have with this obsession with Coach Bryant comes with the constant comparisons to The Bear every subsequent Bama coach has had to endure. Coach Bryant won 6 national titles and 13 conference titles during his 25 year tenure at the University of Alabama. Impressive, I know. But here's something a lot of Tiders cannot get through their skulls: that. will. never. happen. again. anywhere. EVER.

Nobody will ever be as successful as Bear Bryant. I don't mean "ever at Alabama;" I mean "ever ANYWHERE." College football has more parity than ever and, thanks to the BCS, we're not crowning a half dozen national champions every season. Alabama fans think it's totally awesome that they put together a $4 million annual contract for Ol' Saint Nick. But what are they paying for? A 6-win regular season? An Independence Bowl birth? Another loss to Auburn? Oh yeah, recruits, of course. Silly me. Julio Jones is totally worth it. Honestly, the constant comparisons to Bryant and an absolute lack of job security demand an incredibly high salary. If coaching at Alabama is the highly sought after job that Crimson Tide fans want to beleive it is, they wouldn't have to make whatever coach they hire the highest paid coach in football just to get him to sign the dotted line.

Poor* Saban. Even if he were to coach in Tuscaloosa for 24 years, winning 5 national championships and 12 SEC titles, he'd still be in The Bear's shadow.

* Perhaps "poor" isn't the best way to describe a man making 4 million dollars a year to tell 20-something year olds to run around and throw things. Even if it is in Tuscaloosa.

The Wish List: Richard Scruggs

Now that Ole Miss alum Richard Scruggs has been sentenced for his role in a Mississippi judicial bribery scandal, he has caught the eye of the staff here at Red [REDACTED] Cup.

We're sure that Scruggs will be spending most of his time with his family until he has to report to federal prison on August 4. We also know, though, that Richard Scruggs is a pretty big Ole Miss football fan. The Rebels' last two coaching searches have been performed from Scruggs' personal jet.

So, considering the extra time you have before prison, the fact that you're a solid Ole Miss fan, and the reputation you no longer have any need to protect, maybe you could get about bribing a few folks for us.

Mike Slive
The fate of The One of which We Shall Not Speak lies in the hands of The Commish. Getting that guy qualified would improve our defensive line, improve his quality of life, and really piss off a bunch of State fans and the Orgeron. This is a win-win-win!

Willie Herenton
The Mayor of Memphis can do one important thing for Ole Miss football to ensure the happiness and well-being of our fans for a generation - bulldoze the Liberty Bowl. After five (going on six) autumns in Oxford, I've had the misfortune of starting everyone with either a visit to or a visit from the Tigers. I know Pete Boone promises that this will be the last meeting between the storied rivals mismatched teams, but there's more than one way to skin a cat. No Memphis football stadium = no Memphis football.

The officials scheduled to work the Alabama game
Obviously, some of us are worried about other games, but this guy really wants to beat Alabama. And I want to cheat at it. I don't want to win fair and square, not even by twenty points in Tuscaloosa. I want to go to Bryant-Denney and snatch victory illegitimately from the jaws of defeat. Because as Bret Maverick says, "There is no more deeply moving religious experience ... than cheatin' on a cheater."

So, there it is, Dickie. Three pretty easy targets, none of which will earn you any more time in the clink, but any of which will cement your place among the Order of Rebel heroes.