Post Game: Cotton Bowl

Sorry this didn’t go up last night, but the day started for me at 6 AM after precisely zero hours of sleep. A brief work shift, lunch at KFC, an awesome football game, and Evan Williams white label put me out cold until almost midnight. Having said that, here is a hastily thrown-together set of post game observations:

1. Texas Tech did not play a poor game. Your team was not prepared for the intensity that Ole Miss brought on every play. Sure, a lack of talent in the secondary caused us to give up some points, but Graham Harrell's pocket was usually a small and unpleasant place to be. The receivers got jammed hard, and manned up by guys who should not be able to hang with them athletically. The linebackers occupied throwing lanes and chased down guys in space. There were none of the wide open spaces that Tech had become used to. And the defense? Tech's defense was far worse than I could have hoped for. Assuming that Tech had an average SEC offense, and played in the SEC (so they wouldn't be helped by getting a lead early, time of possession, etc.), they would have had the worst defense in the conference. Bank on it. So no, you didn't play poorly, you just got beaten.

2. Pat Summerall is a bad overbite away from being Lou Holtz. Terrible. He made many mistakes about personnel on both teams. Oh well. It starting being amusing when we stopping being terrible and took control. I especially enjoyed hearing that Michael Oher might be a first-round pick in NEXT April’s draft, and hearing about Ole Miss running back Inrick Davis.

3. Tech is a good team, and offensively, the game didn't go much differently than they predicted. Obviously, Crabtree wasn't 100%, and would have had more production had he been healthy, but the main thing that limited him was pressure on Harrell. I love that we got to see one of the nation’s most hyped quarterbacks flinch in the face of pressure, throwing errantly off his back foot and hoping for the best. Still, their offensive line did a much better job of holding back Peria Jerry and company than I expected, and the receivers displayed good hands and good routes for the most part. We just robbed them of the ability to make plays in space, and they weren’t able to dink and dunk it forever.

4. The Ole Miss offense is for real. We didn’t show it early, but the lucky convergence of Jevan Snead, Michael Oher, Dexter McCluster, Shay Hodge, Mike Wallace, Kent Austin, and Houston Nutt makes Ole Miss the 2^nd best offensive unit in the conference, and one of the better units nationally. It is hard to scheme against a team that can literally do anything with the football like the Rebels currently can. They were certainly the reason we won this game, and putting up 38 points (47 minus the pick-6 and safety) against anyone when you have three turnovers is pretty good.

5. Big XII fans are silly. Honestly, look at yourselves. Put away the hand signs, the hair gel, the silly outfits… Talk to most self-respecting SEC fans, and you’ll talk about the upcoming football contest, not about “How BAD UR teems gonna L00se, SUCKER, LOl.” Of course, there are fans all across the country that put far too much personal pride on the line when their team takes the field, but this crowd of Red Raiders seemed to take this game as something personal, and their collective psyche had a hard time considering that maybe their team wasn’t as awesome as they’d first thought. I dunno, maybe Rebel fans are just used to realistic expectations, and realize that sometimes things don’t work out like you’ve planned. We’re only occasionally used to this whole ‘winning’ thing, and I hope that if it continues, we’ll continue to handle it gracefully.

6. The national media is silly. Dear ESPN: stop talking about the teams that look cool and have interesting, feel-good stories, and start talking about the teams that know how to play football. I guess sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s who, but by now, it seems like the SEC is usually the most dominant conference, it’s usually easy to tell who the best teams are in other conferences, and there are only a few BCS buster teams worth talking about, ever (Boise, TCU, and Utah). I hate seeing undeserving teams get coverage because of their location and/or the size of their fan base.

7. Rankings. Here’s how I’d stack up the top 10 or so (I know the games haven’t been played out yet, more on that later). I’m basing this on (get ready!!) how good each team is RIGHT NOW, rather than penalizing a team for losses that happened in September.

1. Florida (provided they beat Oklahoma)

2. USC

3. Utah (hard to choose between 2 and 3, but hard to argue against USC’s late dominance)

4. Texas (provided they beat Ohio State)

5. Oklahoma (provided they don’t get blown out. Flip-flop UF and OU if OU wins)

6. Ole Miss (I’m not backing down here. These 5 teams are the only teams that could beat a healthy, well prepared Ole Miss team right now)

7. Oregon

8. TCU

9. Penn State

10. Alabama

11. Georgia

After that it gets fuzzy, but I defy you to claim that Ole Miss, right now, isn’t a top 10 team. And that’s pretty cool.

We’ll probably post more about this game and its ramifications in the future, but for now, I’ll stop taking it about and bask in the awesomeness just a while longer.

Ole Miss 47, Texas Tech 34 - Postgame Ruminations

I'm certain Whiskey Wednesday will provide a more in-depth, vulgar, and somewhat intoxicated postgame report but, for now, I'd like to offer my thoughts.

We dominated Texas Tech. If you nullify our mistakes (a pair of fumbles, Jevan's pick-six, and Marshay's stepping out of bounds) we would have been able to easily win by a margin greater than 13. Don't get me wrong; a 13-point victory over a top-10 team is fantastic even if it is, at times, sloppy.

Our offense was fantastic. Our defense, considering the high caliber talents on Tech's offense, got the job done. Our special teams were serviceable.

Most noteworthy, though, was our coaching. The offense was an excellent blend of conservative, traditional plays and innovative plays which utilized misdirection and spacing to create mismatches in the open field. We also managed the clock almost as well as one possibly could. At the half, we had more than double the time of possession and towards the end of the game we began to see the real benefit of holding onto the ball for as long as we were able to. In the second half, Tech simply could not stop our running game. Their defenders were sucking wind and absolutely depleted.

Defensively, we blitzed early and often. This surprised me in that one would assume that to be a pretty bad defensive tactic against a Mike Leach offense but it worked. Certainly, it left some folks open and gave up some big plays but, as with our offensive strategy, it served well to weaken their offensive line.

Simply put, we defeated Texas Tech by wearing their lines down.

Wasn't really "feeling the Cotton Bowl"

Of course, this is a huge win for our program. Not only have we lifted ourselves out of the SEC cellar, but we have also proven that these coaches can have us prepared for almost any game. The national news media (especially a certain fat asshole), recruits, and, most importantly, the rest of our conference are definitely taking notice of our victory. We embarrassed a top-10 football team which many felt was a worthy contendor for the BCS Title. Leading up to the game, just about every member of the major sports media, the Texas Tech fanbase, and even a few of their players predicted a blowout victory for the Red Raiders.

They deserved better than the play some 8-4 team in the Cotton Bowl. They were going to do to us what we would do to Oklahoma State. This guy was somehow going to scare Peria Jerry.

We heard it all month long but we nor our players listened. Yesterday we had a confidence and swagger that I could have never imagined as an Ole Miss fan. If an Ed Orgeron led team had fallen behind by two touchdowns in the first quarter, would they have turned around and won by 13? This team isn't afraid to play anyone and that attitude is what won our 9 games.

Shocking Texas Tech and the 90-something percent of folks who thought we didn't have a chance gave me (and, I imagine, all of us) an incredible feeling. Watching Graham Harrell put his head in his hands, seeing the Tech OL rack up personal foul penalties because they couldn't handle losing, and reading the meltdown on some Tech websites were all incredibly satisfying.

We were foolishly doubted. We had our program dogged by everyone outside of the Southeast. You won't see that happening next season. Ole Miss is here. Get 'cha popcorn ready.

Post Game: LSU

I have no desire to analyze this game. None. The weekend we experienced in Baton Rogue was a masterpiece. Perfection. Never have I had more fun at a sporting event, and never have I felt more proud of the collective effort of a team of Ole Miss Rebels. For the first time in an untold number of years, we are good at football for reasons not named Manning. Weird. To couple with my lack of desire to analyze this game, I am equally unqualified to do so. I was drunk as hell, and sitting at a low angle, in the Ole Miss section of the endzone, behind a sousaphone. So though I can tell you how weird the whole city smelled, how awesome the jambalaya tasted, and how elated the players looked while directing From Dixie With Love after the game, if you saw it on TV, you saw far more than I did. That being said, for many of the same reasons above, I am WAY cooler than you for having been there and experienced firsthand the most glorious ass-kicking I have ever vicariously been a part of. So that's the story I'll tell.

We spent Friday night in the small Burg of Hattie, home of LSU's non-accredited western campus for theater majors and other people with hair gel. JUCO, Tower, OneMan, yours truly, and three other non-important compatriots ventured RedStickward bright and early that morning, anticipating stifling game day traffic, of which there was surprisingly little. Turns out that cities of over 230,000 can hold up to an influx of SEC visitors better than our fair hamlet of 10,000 townies.

On the highway, we saw (and were subsequently jeered at by) a modified school bus with the back roof removed to reveal 2 dozen or so purple-clad pre-gamers. When we got closer to town, our brave driver, in his preoccupation with glaring and waving his middle finger around, almost had a wreck or three as traffic stopped and started, causing an SUV full of LSU guys to mockingly slam on their brakes and make scaredy faces at us. Well played, guys. It was all in good fun, but at the same time, it was officially on. Before we got out of the car. We wove through traffic, parked at an LSU friend's apartment (thanks), finished off our 22oz bottles of Blue Moon (A great invention, or the greatest invention? You decide.), and struck out to find some more crunk juice.

And find it we did. At least I did. Before we left the apartment, two stout screwdrivers (as stout as something with OJ can be, anyways), a pint of Wild Turkey, and something else I don't remember, all came to party with the beer already in my bloodstream. I grabbed a to-go cup, and thusly marched towards the epicenter of all Cajun-dom: Tiger Stadium.

Tiger Bait. Yes, we heard you the first forty-two times. Tiger Bait. You almost lost to Troy. Tiger Bait. Georgia hung 50 on you. Tiger Bait. So did Florida. Tiger Bait. You smell funny. Tiger Bait. You dress like a 10 year old. Tiger Bait... ENOUGH ALREADY. It was at this point that I made the rapid transition, in the estimation of my colleagues, from: the Affable Companion with the Likable Sense of Humor, Lovable Quirks, and a Heart of Gold to: the Fucking Drunk Asshole who is Going to Get our Asses Kicked. I don't remember with exact clarity all that I said or did, but suffice it to say that most of it was vulgar, loud, sometimes clever, more often mean-spirited, and within spittin' distance of many, many LSU fans. My Whiskey Wednesday Quasi-weekly Awesomest Drunk Guy in my General Vicinity Award goes to me. Hands down. No complaining. For the most part though, people realized that I was harmless, and all shit-talk was good natured. Of that I am appreciative, make no mistake, ArTiger and friends. So I got to the stadium safely. As for the game...

We kicked LSU's ass. For sixty minutes. In all three phases of the game. No doubt in mind. The only people who thought the game was close were the Rebel faithful themselves, who aren't accustomed to such a feeling. Dominance? Of an SEC team? In football? Well ok, if you insist, Houston.

But you already knew the result of the game. What I'm here to tell you is that if you felt irrationally giddy, like something in your life had been fulfilled or re-affirmed: you weren't alone. The elation in the players, coaches, fans, and band was palpable and amazing after the game. LSU fans had retreated back to the swamps, and left us to celebrate in their vast government-funded hell-hole from which few escape, and fewer emerge convincingly victorious. Ahlee Palmer hoisted the Magnolia Trophy while Powe, Allen Walker, and others directed the band. It was amazing. I can't talk. The beer and pizza that night tasted incredibly sweet and delicious. The sketchy hotel sheets felt inviting and warm. The drive home was blissful and comfortable. All was well, all was right and beautiful. I couldn't watch the replays on TV frequently enough, but watching on TV was somehow still terribly unsatisfying in comparison with the way the stadium atmosphere did funny things to your stomach and to the hairs on your neck. If I ever feel that good after a win again, it will surely be a special day. Thanks Rebs, thanks to the gracious (???) LSU fans, and to the die-hard Rebs that came down and yelled their vocals into oblivion Thanks Houston, Peria, Dexter, all the players who spurned LSU to come to UM... It was a hell of a weekend. Please feel free to add any good stories from this weekend below. For me, I am done. Hotty Toddy, and goodnight.

Post Game: Auburn

11:30 AM kickoff the day after Halloween? Ouch. Friday night ended at 4:00 AM for this devoted bloggeur, and 9:30 rolled around far too soon. JUCO and I had debated not attending the game, and instead watching on TV and taking game notes for my report (media passes were hard to come by this week, so no sideline tomfoolery…). Appropriately for this blog though, rabid fandom prevailed over any attempt at serious journalism, so we embarked on the long walk to the stadium, stopping at Abner’s on the way over to procure the best hangover cure known to man: french fries. Despite our decision not to take careful game notes, we made a conscious decision to pay more attention and play less grab-ass. Here is my set of (hopefully) insightful observations:

1. Jevan Snead looked about as groggy and out of it in the first half as I was. I really do wonder if we push him too hard early on in a game. From what I’ve seen, he is far more likely to put a pass in the dirt or hang one up in the air during the 1^st quarter than the 2^nd. His ability to compensate for blitzes is still lame. Maybe it is harder than I imagine to be able to audible successfully at the line after only a few months in a new offense. This, and other intelligence-related development by Snead, might determine whether or not we win the West before he leaves. A truly exceptional QB would have put us in Atlanta this year, despite our other faults. We know Snead can do it, let’s just hope he does.

2. Run blocking tenacity has improved. Significantly. Markuson seems to be slowly making his players want to completely dominate their men, and it has paid off the last two games when it counted. Cordera Eason is doing really well, but I love to see the freshmen get the rock. Enrique Davis needs to see the field more. I want him to see some payoff to his work in practice now so he doesn’t get frustrated and lazy.

3. This was a less than stellar game for the receivers, Shay Hodges’ badassness notwithstanding. A couple of times, I feel like they weren’t where Jevan expected them to be because they ran softer routes or didn’t finish them. Also, there wasn’t as much separation as Jevan is used to. He threw to some pretty well-covered guys because men weren’t getting open. I’m glad we’re seeing more receivers out there, but I can’t tell yet if they’re going to produce this year.

4. GERALD HARRIS CAUGHT A PASS!!! AND DIDN’T LOOK TERRIBLE!!!

5. For awhile there, I was less than enthused about the playcalling, specifically the passing routes. It’s possible that it was only the routes that Jevan was throwing to that were poor decisions, but there didn’t seem to be as many obvious check-down options available to him.

6. Dear Greg Hardy: if you aren’t careful, Kentrell Lockett might make us stop missing you out there. He was excellent on the pass and the run. Peria Jerry is playing better football than any tackle in the conference right now. No, he isn’t an absurd physical freak, he isn’t 375 pounds, and he doesn’t have a Cajun last name, but Jerry is our best player right now. Overall, we’re playing run defense like some of Brewer’s better teams. Now about those cornerbacks…

7. I was watching the first half of the game on DVR last night after dinner, and when the TV crew announced the names of our linebacking corps, they said something like, “they don’t have a star, they just run to the ball.” I’m ok with that. Palmer, Walker, and Trahan are all more than serviceable. None of them may get a chance to play on Sundays, but don’t count out any of the three. They are all plenty fast and like to hit. Nothin’ wrong with that. The Mike LB’s aren’t as solid, but I still like watching Fein’s scary-ass tattooed arms maul defenders (from the safety of my 18^th row S. Endzone seat). Now about those cornerbacks…

8. What can you say? Defending a pass intended for a taller, stronger man in open space is one of the more simple-yet-difficult things to do in sports. It requires speed, great strength and body control, great vision and anticipation…And we don’t have anyone that is particularly good at it. Start recrootin’, Chris Vaughn…

9. Jamarca Sanford: I can’t decide whether I’ll miss him next year or not. Until I see him hit somebody. I love the contact in this game, and Jamarca Sanford is the only guy on our defense who can consistently get the F=MV² equation to work in his favor. Kid can bring it.

10. Dex won the game. No doubt. I'd dogged him before, but he's fixed his fumble problem, and I don't think he'll lose the ball again all year. He has a vise grip on the rock, and he was stellar this weekend.

11. SEC replay officials completely disregard the part in the rules involving incontrovertible evidence. I'm glad I didn't have a media pass. I don't know what I'd have said if I'd been in that booth within earshot of the replay asshats.

Other miscellaneous gameday notes:

1. I like navy more than red. Keep it up, coach.

2. My new favorite Grove accessory: Deez Nuttz stickers, which were being handed out at a tent near the Alumni Center. Clever.

3. Razor scooters. I hate them. Your child does not need transportation in the Grove. I’m dutifully trying to get my drink on in the AM, and these little bastards are whizzing all around my legs, making me slosh my purple drank around. Unacceptable.

4. Nice Jumbotron, Pete. Even getting better at using it.

5. I’m glad we didn’t collectively dress up like the Joker like half of Texas Tech’s fans did. Lame. Also: you wanna know what MSU and USM combined would look like? Well, they’re #2 in the country, and they’re in Lubbock. Gross. Crabtree should get some Heisman looks, though. That last play was skraight gangsta.

6. State lost, lolz.

7. Going to Athens, GA next weekend. Expect a full damage report upon my return.

Hotty Toddy, and goodnight.

p.s., a little Youtube goodness that kept me going all week...

Post game tidbits

Whiskey Wednesday will (hopefully) deliver his usual, profanity-laden post game report as soon as he wakes from his somewhat comatose state. Until then, I'll give you these post game tidbits.

1. Terrence "Mount" Cody is an overrated pile of adipose tissue with skin stitched over it. He was certainly not the factor he's been made out to be. Also, we ruined his knee which is one of those things that makes you, as an Ole Miss fan, shamefully grin. We've gotta take 'em where we can get 'em. Below is some footage of Mount Cody in Tuscaloosa yesterday.


2. Jevan Snead stepped it up big time against the Tide. Those runs in the 4th quarter were ballsy and took real athleticism. He showed great arm strength and stood tall in the pocket despite fighting a tough uphill battle. The incomplete pass to end the game was likely a communication issue between he and McCluster. That's a nice segue into my next point...

3. Dexter, srsly... Don't throw the ball anymore. Stop fumbling. Ole Miss fans really love you. We at the Cup love you. But you've gotta stop ending crucial drives because of thoughtless slip-ups.

4. Greg Hardy wears special shoes? What the fuck is that all about? Considering his recent foot surgery it makes some sense, but just the idea of a big scary bastard like Hardy needing "special" footwear is silly and (honestly) kinda funny. Seriously though, he either doesn't give that much of a damn about his NFL prospects or is too full of himself to realize that he's pissing away big bucks with this kind of crap. As fans, we think Greg Hardy is great. Watching him really lay into quarterbacks is some of the most exciting stuff we Rebels have to look forward to every Saturday. But he needs to play with some effort if we're going to show him any more respect. Greg, if you're reading this, take a lesson from Patrick Willis' "school of giving NFL scouts a boner." The guy was the best linebacker in college football, yet still practiced and played like he was trying to earn a starting spot. NFL scouts love that kinda stuff and P Willie with his Bentleys, house on San Francisco bay, and platoon of ladyfriends can attest to that.

EDIT: For shiggles, I Google image searched "Special Shoes" and got these. If anybody sees any of these in or around Oxford, deliver 'em to Hardy because he's apparently misplaced his.



EDIT^2: Let's throw some YouTube in there, for good measure.

Post Game: South Carolina

Well. Here we are again, Rebel fans. Sunday has come and gone, and the post game report is well overdue. There will generally be two reasons for this: 1.) incredible, party-inducing upset. 2.) ridiculous, hope-killing loss. Football is a funny game. With 85 scholarship players, 22 guys on the field all at once, there are just too many variables to predict it. Sometimes you go on the road and beat the #4 team in the country, sometimes you get embarrassed at home by a quarterback who previously couldn't find his own ass with both hands and a mirror.

If there is any silver lining to this dark cloud of a game, here it is: I was on the field, and you weren't. I figured that it'd be a unique experience, and I'd have a good time. I was wrong: I had the most unbelievably kickass time maybe ever, until we lost. Even then, I had a far easier time getting out of the stadium than you did. You can bet your ass that I'll be back on the field at the next available opportunity. If you ever have the opportunity to start a sports blog, feign legitimacy, and gain inside access to sporting events, I'd highly recommend it. Pictures from on the field will be posted in the near future, but I've still got 75 or so pictures to sort through and edit. They're a little bit too far away due to the limitations of my lens, and we'll have that problem fixed in the future.

As far as the actual game goes...

1. I can't believe that Smelley passed for 327, even against this secondary. Cassius Vaughn was certainly the goat of the day. Pressure was good early on, but really absent later. It seemed like Spurrier really picked us apart out there, rather than South Carolina's average receivers or Smelley's average arm.

2. Turnovers. It seems like these aren't really careless turnovers we keep having, but caused by guys trying to make something happen. Its got to be hard to balance the intensity you need to hit the hole, to run the crisp route and bring it in, to scramble out of the pocket, with the smarts to just tuck it in and go down. Still, Nutt's got to find ways to get guys to protect the possession.

3. I understand why McCluster is the quarterback in the Wild Rebel, but I really want to see Boldin take more snaps back there. Breaux and Devin Thomas have both proved decent playing out wide in that formation as well, I'd like to see more of them.

4. Boldin is still pretty badass. Let Eason be a 3rd down back or whatever. Let Boldin tote it 20 times a game.

5. I think that we were overall caught off-guard by how well USC's offense played, and how mediocre their defense was at times. I think we were expected a tight defensive game, and it didn't end up that way.

6. Replay blows. It has improved the accuracy of the calls only slightly, and takes too much time. This, along with media time outs for a game that was only on friggin' pay-per-view, made for a slow, agonizing game.

7. Still waiting for Mike Wallace to have a breakout game, and to see more of Andrew Harris and Markeith Summers. Those guys are all ballers, but they haven't produced much on the field.


8. To the State Trooper on the sideline who cussed and yelled at the Field Judge along with the rest of the Ole Miss crowd: props to you. I hate cops, but that guy's OK.

So that's all I've got, really. Analysis from field level is a little more difficult. The closeness of it all is awesome, but you lose some perspective. I can't be sure what to expect out of this Rebel team for the rest of this season, but here is my early prediction: we upset either Bama or LSU, and then lose the following game (Arkansas or MSU). We beat ULM, and the difference between a 6 and 7 win season comes down to Auburn. I can't pick Ole Miss right now in that game, but it should be really close. We go bowling, but with the rotten taste in your mouth that comes with spending the holiday in Shreveport. Bye week coming up, everyone, enjoy next Saturday. Ole Miss can't lose. Hotty Toddy, and goodnight.

Post Game

Once again, sorry for the late post game. Too busy enjoying what many have called the best weekend in the history of the University. Those of my friends that are aware of my writing on this here website have been calling me out on last week's post game report, asking what kind of ass I feel like for passing up on tickets to the game, calling out the team right before our biggest win in decades, etc., etc. Well, here it is folks: I'm a huge Rebel fan, always have been, and I don't have a bit of regret for being proven wrong by a tenacious Ole Miss team on the road. I don't regret watching this game in a bar full of my friends, getting tow' up, screaming Hottdy Toddy at anyone who cared to listen, and drunkenly trying to explain the significance of this win to the wait staff at Rancho Grande. I had a hell of a time. I know Ivory Tower and co. had a hell of a time. The Rebels played inspired defense and mistake free (enough) offense and got to mock-chomp the Gators, dreadlocks victoriously blowing in the Southern breeze.

On to actual post game observationizations.

The defensive line is the best in the SEC. No doubt. We have at least four, probably more, NFL players on this line, and they're starting to play like it. Of course, Tebow saw all kinds of blitz packages, but you really can't replace that Jerrell Powe-shaped dent in the pocket on every play. Speaking of Powe's emergence, Ted Laurent showed why he's still technically the starter alongside Jerry. He's a beast, though this picture makes me giggle because he looks like a Macy's day parade float drifting angrily towards Tebow. And say all you want about the athleticism of guys like Knowshon Moreno and Percy Harvin: to me, the best SEC athletes are guys like Greg Hardy and Ricky Jean-Francois- guys that are just too damn big to be that damn fast.

The rest of the defense played well above their shoulders today as well. Sure, Florida gained a lot in the air, but there's a lot to be said for having those short passes over the middle met immediately with three or four white shirts and stopped dead. You can't let teams run after the catch on you all day, and the Rebel secondary didn't. Percy Harvin got his yards, sure, but at full health, he'll get them against anyone. The coverage skills of the corners are still less than Champ Bailey-esque, but I'll take that effort every time.

I was growing skeptical of having Eason in the game with Bolden and Davis on the bench, but he made one of the more athletic plays of the game with his 18-yard catch, run, hurdle, pirouette, and score. Brandon Bolden is still pretty badass, though.

Shay Hodge is also pretty badass. Hodge is the best overall receiver for Ole Miss maybe ever. Chris Collins would have been the 3 or 4 receiver on this team, Espy and Grant Heard may not have fared any better. On the topic of Hodge: I was under the impression that video review was adopted to determine the correct outcome of a play. It was in fact invented to fuck over Shay Hodge. Sorry Shay, you caught that ball. And you were forced out. And the other guy touched it first. Fuck you, Doyle.

Is today the first time Bolden has taken some snaps in the Wild Rebel? I haven't noticed before now, and I like it, especially in short yardage spots.

Marcus Temple certainly came out of nowhere today, even stopping Tebow on 4th and 1 to ice it. It is rare for me to have to check my program to see who a player is when we're five games into the season, but his playing time today was a real surprise.

Kentrell Lockett. That is all.

Overall, the team still showed a lot of youth and a little hesitancy with the game within their reach. I was more than a little disappointed in the 3 and out by the running game at the end that forced a punt and eventually put Florida just a 51 yard field goal away. Two first downs there, and Tebow doesn't touch the ball again. Still, the plays were made, the Rebs won, and there's no taking that from them. I'm glad we get a home game against a weaker offense next Saturday. I don't think you can expect two weeks of rabid defense from a team still learning to win, so I'm counting on the offense building on their success in this upcoming game. Good weekend indeed. The Rebels are back. Hotty Toddy.

Post-Game Report (finally)

So here we are: I had all kinds of things to write about last night, but most of them resided, along with the sick feeling in your gut that surely, all of us felt (at least those of us who actually follow the team. And/or smuggled Ziplock bags of Jack into the stadium). Beyond the terrible effort on display on the part of Jevan Snead and the Ole Miss offensive line (can't fault the receivers, backs, or the defense), we have a pretty significant quandary on our hands in Oxford: we can't possibly conceive a way to win a football game wherein a loss is a possibility. Not since South Carolina in 2004 has Ole Miss defeated a team with an equal or greater combination of talent, experience, and coaching. Don't even bring up wins against Memphis, State, and Vandy (2006). The talent gap makes it inexcusable to lose those games, despite our ability to always make it look close.

Before Hog fans (you lost by 5 touchdowns to Alabama. This should be enough to silence you for the week, but I know otherwise) come here to gloat: this isn't a coaching issue. Houston Nutt and his staff have demonstrated that they can coach fundamentals, concoct a good game plan, choose the right personnel, and generally put the players in position to succeed. And while Orgeron's teams lost all kinds of games, some of which can be put on his shoulders, he still was incapable of fumbling the ball, throwing interceptions, or allowing Derek Pegues to go untouched into the endzone on a critical punt return. He was on the sidelines. And please, spare me any talk of how part of coaching is teaching kids to avoid mistakes like these. Having to teach kids to hold on to the ball and to avoid throwing 5 interceptions in a game is like taking attendance and grading homework in a 500 level class. It should be fucking insulting, and an unnecessary waste of time that could be spent on conditioning, learning playbooks, and scouting. I can't blame Nutt for this one, as the game plan was there.

If Nutt is at fault at all, it is in his recent inexperience in instilling a winning attitude. He inherited players that were decent and knew how to win at Arkansas. He recruited some excellent players and instilled a continued winning attitude, and did a lot of great things, all while located in the asshole of America, Fayetteville (again, Hawg fans, don't talk, your town sucks, and don't say 'thank God for Mississippi,' because that's a crock of shit bolstered by misleading statistics. Mississippi > Arkansas as a good place to live). Anyhow, it is certainly an alien feeling for Nutt to teach a bunch of talented, habitual losers to win. I can understand that. What I can't understand, is how it got this bad to begin with.

Ole Miss has some incredible talent. For certain, the talent in the secondary, at tight end, and in the linebacking corps, leaves something to be desired by the standards of the SEC elite. However, there aren't many guys like Mike Oher, John Jerry, Shay Hodge, Mike Wallace, Dexter McCluster, Greg Hardy, Peria Jerry, Brandon Bolden, etc., in the SEC. We have some serious players, and good balance overall. We just haven't found the chemistry and resolve to pull out any solid SEC wins in the last four years. Losing feels inevitable to these guys, and I'm not sure what can be done about that.

With all that behind me, let's go to the actual game analysis:

7 penalties for 82 yards vs. 2 penalties for 20. Hard to believe that the home team had over four times the penalty yardage as the away team, especially given the subjective nature of most of the penalties. Late hits were called on the UM offense when I saw the same thug garbage committed by a VU defender on the same play. Not the reason we lost, but damn. Give us a dozen or so fairly officiated SEC games and we just might win one or two...

Snead is a talented head case. Get ready, folks. If a QB lobotomy isn't performed on Snead soon, look for Brent Schaeffer part II. Last night was possibly (with talent level taken into consideration) the worst underperformance by an Ole Miss athlete since the invention of the forward pass. The stat sheet says four INT's. It was actually five, as the one immediately stolen back by the Ole Miss receiver wasn't counted. Can't even recognize the guy that threw four TD's on the road at Wake Forest. Either way, the 4/5 INT's doesnt begin to tell the story of how poor Jevan was. He was Ethan Flatt at Wyoming poor. He was Brent Schaeffer at Kentucky poor... Need I go on?

McCluster and Green put too much weight on their shoulders to make plays. Both are dynamic with the ball. Both made critical fumbles last night. Green had no business trying to break all those tackles on the punt return. There was no seam, no extra yardage to be gained. Protect the ball in this situation. McCluster probably shouldn't have been the guy to take the ball through the middle of the defense in this situation. Send any of our top three RB's, who are much bigger and stronger and have demonstrated sure hands for the most part, into the thick of things when it counts, instead of a 5-8 scat back. I agree with running the Wild Rebel, but again, decision making wasn't all it could have been by McCluster.

Defensive line will be a star unit if they don't get bogged down by the rest of the teams fuckuperation. Hardy, Jerry, and Powe were all monsters. Could be time for Gerald Pow to do the Hotty Toddy on the Grove stage, because he's getting much closer to his expected impact (12 tackles, 5 sacks, 1 INT, and a pass touchdown per game, approx.).


The rest of the defense fed off of the increased pressure from the front four. I hate to get all optimistic here, but we may just be able to pull an upset by playing good defense and keeping the ball out of Snead's incapable hands.

The offensive line is still soft. Even with over 200 yards rushing, the line failed to impress, this time with the problem being in pass protection. I wonder if most of this wasn't caused by Snead's inability to audible and take advantage of/cover for the blitz. Still, these guys are talented and experienced, and need to maul some motherfuckers. Hasn't yet happened.

That is about all I have. Last night, I was pondering the abysmal lack of intestinal fortitude and mental strength by Ole Miss athletes since I arrived here in the Fall of 2004. It really is sickening, and I find myself wondering after a loss like this what draws us to be fans. Certainly, regional proximity and school loyalty are a big factor in what team you support, but shouldn't you also respect something about the resolve, the tenacity, the effort level and the spirit of the teams for which you so fervently cheer? Well, as it stands, I can't respect them until they come out and win a big game. No loss can be considered a moral victory, no good effort can be deemed worthwhile until a W appears in the stat column. Here it is, Rebs: I don't respect you. I've seen more resolve and mental composure in Club and Intramural level teams, and your consistent failure to seal a victory has made me question the worth of my years of support. I won't go to Gainesville with my crew next weekend, because I know that you won't show up in any better mental condition to beat Florida than would I and my drunken compatriots. Please, Rebels, at some point this year, prove me wrong. Make me believe again. Win six and get to a bowl. Being a jaded asshole just isn't fun. Goodnight, and Hotty Toddy.

Post-Game Report: Samford (seriously??)

A well distributed factoid around the Ole Miss camp this week was that the last time Samford played a BCS opponent, a mediocre Georgia Tech team with a soon-to-be unemployed coach hung 69 points on them. So we, being the good little sports god-fearing Ole Miss fans we are, optimistically hoped for a 50-spot on our side of the box score and a few passing attempts by Billy Tapp, as well as some kids from the Make-a-Wish Foundation getting late snaps at wide receiver (did I just make that joke? What is wrong with me?). Well, guess who scored the first touchdown of the game, to take a first quarter lead? That would be the Bulldogs of Samford. Guess who had to pass downfield to have a decent chance at a first down, because running up the middle garnered mixed results at best? That would be the Rebels of Ole Miss. What went wrong here? I've got an idea or three:

Jevan Snead: please tell me you got plastered and slept with four different sorority girls last night. Please? Honestly, the pass rush was in his face all night (and how embarrassing is that, Michael Oher and co.?), but Snead didn't do a great job of making checks at the line to adjust for blitzes. Hopefully, this was just a result of vanilla playcalling and lack of motivation. And seriously, Jevan, Lionel Breaux is STILL hung out to dry on that five-yard hook. Bring that shit down.

Running backs: Really? We have five backs on our team that would, in theory, start for Samford. None were impressive tonight. Eason hits the hole with all the tenacity and timing of a 16 year old in the back of his mom's borrowed minivan on prom night (last Dennis Miller-esque joke of the night, promise). Bolden appeared to be limited, and his primary vehicle, the Wild Rebel, was left in the garage. And as a note to all 5 backs: shoestring tackles need to be broken, folks. This is the SEC you're playing in.

Offensive line: as it stands, probably the most overrated unit in the SEC. 'Soft' would be a compliment, a goal to strive for, at this point. Almost 1600 pounds of bulk spread out amongst five men with over 100 starts between them in the SEC, and we can't beat down Samford's defensive line? Markuson isn't sleeping well right now, and neither is Michael Oher.

The offensive playcalling was extremely boring, and that shouldn't have mattered. Just execute. Execute against a team with less talent than the scout team that impersonated them all week.

Defense... Where do you start here? For most of the second half, Samford held a 5-minute advantage over UM in time of possession. Blame this on a defense that was unable to stay on assignment all night. Sure, we busted a few plays in the backfield, but where were the turnovers? There wasn't a play that seemed close to a Samford turnover. The desire to actually hit someone seemed a tertiary goal, at best. Houston Nutt can't be happy with Tyrone Nix, can he?

Special teams: glad to see Marshay take a punt to the house, and in impressive fashion. I still haven't decided if that makes up for the punt he should've taken back earlier. Let me set up this scenario for those who missed it: Green takes the punt, finds that his blockers have completely sealed off their slower, more Baptist counterparts, and the only thing between him and the endzone is a portly little fellow in white and a speedy blocker in blue. What happens? An awkward, three man collision, you say? Well, how did you guess? Seriously, folks, I'd have taken that punt back in my flip flops without losing my Aviators or getting my polo sweaty.

Enough with the detailed statistical analysis, though. What all this boils down to, scientifically, is that this game was a load of HORESESHIT! Defense, don't come waving your arms around trying to pump the fans up in the face of this all-male pillow fight. Entertain me. Hit someone so hard that they regret the day they first touched a football. And offense? This was supposed to be an All-You-Can-Score Buffet, and once again, I left hungry, and pissed off at my townie waiter. Did Nutt do this to the team on purpose, so he could yell at them all week in preparation for Vanderbilt? Did he take off all week to help his least-attractive daughter make a diorama of the solar system for school? Here I am, wracking my brain, thinking of ways NOT to score 40 against Samford, and I got nothin'.


On a brighter note:

Narrowly edging out rH0d3$+@r, a bow-tie-clad fratter named Vince gets the weekly 'Awesomest Drunk Guy in My General Vicinity' award. Thanks for your light-hearted yet caustic display of profanities; it made me want to gouge my eyes out a little bit less. Congrats, Vince, and thanks to all of those who played.

fUcK yOu oHiO sTaTe, and Fight On, USC. That is all. I'm really dying to see USC take on Florida or Mizzou in the BCS championship.

Dear MSU: I have to admit it. I don't trust you to lose games in the fashion to which we all became accustomed. You played a hell of a defensive game against Auburn, apparently, and I had to see the body to really believe you were dead. Still: HA HA HA... HA.

Post-'Game' Report

Well Ole Miss fans... wonder why 'game' is in quotations in the title? Games have a set system of rules, adhered to in the spirit of equitable competition. Then there was this 'game...' It started with 7 free points awarded to Wake. Apparently, it is a sound and legitimate strategy to push a punt return blocker into his returner after a fair catch, cause a fumble, and recover. Seven free Wake Forest points. Fine. Continue to the rest of the game, where Ole Miss beats Wake 28-20. No matter, however, officials to the rescue! Pass interference call on Marshay Green on Wake's late drive. Marshay has the position, and his eyes on the ball. Usually, pass interference on the defense does not occur in this situation, unless the officials have interest vested in the outcome of the game. 15 yards, automatic first down. Also, thanks for reviewing the obvious Ole Miss TD beforehand, just to make sure. Glad to know we're interested in the fair outcome. So then, with seconds left and 41 yards to the FG, Skinner drops back IN THE POCKET, throws the ball out of bounds, 15 feet over the receiver's head, and flags remain in pockets. While Wake fans are well-versed in rules involving double-dribbles and moving picks, they (and officials) might be surprised to learn that such a play is the classical rule-bending situation that constituted the inception of the INTENTIONAL GROUNDING rule. Penalty at the spot of the foul, loss of down. Instead, 10 free points. Wake (read: Duke basketball) fans may not be convinced, but Ole Miss wins this game with legit officiating 8 of 10 times. We are the better team. You have no Snead. You have no McCluster. You have no Bolden. You have no Hodge. You have an arbitrarily assigned pre-season ranking, protected as long as you are the only ranked ACC team. Enjoy it.
Ole Miss gets fucked out of a game a year, on average, and you've already cashed in.

While Ole Miss won this game on the field, here are a few observations that may have caused us to win by two or three touchdowns:

You have to wonder why we kept it in the Wild Rebel so often. Dex throws a stupid pick, we get stuffed a couple times... Also, why not run it more often on 1st and 2nd down? We have a clear physical advantage. We are better on both lines. Use it. Use Bolden to his strengths. Don't make Jevan win the game for us in the air. No doubt, Jevan did win us the game, but ended up losing the 'game.' Guess you have to play with the hand you're dealt, which meant giving Wake as few offensive plays as possible, even though we stopped them three times more than the scoreboard indicated (the personal foul kicker interference on Trahan was Busch League).

Tackle better. This is something that has improved more, but must improve more if we are to beat SEC teams. Watching Auburn today, the reason they won despite some turnovers was their sound tackling and quickness to the ball. We were lax in that department probably six or eight times, allowing a couple of first downs that shouldn't have been converted, and a sack or two that should've been wrapped up.

Whether you or an Ole Miss or a Wake fan, you have to agree: we have the players and the coach in place. This game was winnable, but, fair or not (I say bullshit), the breaks went Wake's way at home as the only ranked team in a BCS conference struggling for validity. Ole Miss will win some SEC games. Wake, an ACC title contender, would win three or four in the SEC.

I still feel good about the Rebs. Wake, enjoy your 'win' in this 'game.'

Post-game Analysis

I had surgery Friday morning under general anesthesia. Not only was I still tired and sore Saturday, I couldn’t drink, what with all the painkillers swimming in my system. I tell you that to tell you this: my intent is for these weekly postgame write-ups to be drunken, shit-talkin’ rants, hopefully with enough analytical observations to differentiate it from an SBR post on NAFOOM (which was particularly inspiring this week, by the way). This week, however, life, as well as hydrocodone, got in the way…

All of that aside, Memphis: don’t let the door hit you in the ass. Have fun with your basketball team full of choke job criminals, and don’t ever come here again. We’ve got BCS teams to play, and (hopefully) a coach that can beat some of them. Here’s the thing Tigers: we didn’t even play that well, save for Shay Hodge, Dexter McCluster, and Brandon Bolden. Snead, Wallace, and essentially the entire defense had an off night, and you still got run over. Garrett Ryan and Chris Bowers played extensively. We used five running backs. Andy Hartmann almost scored. You suck completely (though apparently, you’d have knocked off State or Texas A&M yesterday). A few other observations not involving how much Memphis sucks…

Offensive play-calling was exceptional. Not sure how often Snead changed plays around, but it seemed like Nutt and Austin always had guys in place to make big plays.

Run-blocking was a little disappointing. Still want to see Oher, Jerry and co. knock people around. We had trouble running up the middle. This might have been a result of Memphis trying to make Snead beat them. Or we might still be soft.

It was disappointing that we only had big performances from two receivers. Wallace was open deep a lot, but couldn’t haul it in, and Summers, Harris, and Breaux were non-factors. Jason Cook has nice hands, and I love having that option in the offense. It’d be great if the tailbacks could get involved in the passing game, too.

So yeah, about Enrique Davis being a second team all-SEC back? Not gonna happen. Bolden will steal lots of carries. Kid has great skills.

Defensively, defending the spread is a pain in the ass. You pretty much have to recruit against it, and we haven’t been doing it. You don’t want to bring out a defense built to stop bubble screens against teams like LSU and Georgia. Still, defense was disappointing on a number of levels.

In the trip receiver sets that Memphis almost always ran, we had the flanker shadowed by a safety lined up several yards back, allowing him to catch it with room to build up a head of steam and hide behind his blockers. If we know they want the screen, why not jam up all three receivers? Could be totally off base here, I have never personally defended the spread.

Emmanuel Stevens and Kentrell Lockett are adequate starters, but may not be much more. We won’t be generating many sacks without Hardy. We tried to disguise blitzes, but didn’t execute them very well. There isn’t any substitute for pressure generated by the front four. Garrett Ryan knocked down a pass at the line. Hell yeah, Ryan, that’s a story to tell your grandkids. Also good to see Bowers out there; he’s played whenever he’s been healthy, so hopefully he’ll finish up the year and continue to contribute.

Linebackers: hit somebody. Please. Jamarca Sanford and Kendrick Lewis are upstaging the linebacking corps (that’s ‘linebacking core,’ Yancy Porter fans) that we’ve been excited about recently. Lamar Brumfield is going to get picked on. Coverage skills don’t look so hot, and if offenses can draw him in, his side will be vulnerable to outside runs. Deer Allen Walker: pleez to git all better soon. Kthnxbai.

Corners weren’t awful. Most of the time, they did a good job of keeping the play in front of them, but you’ve got to step up and be aggressive sometimes. I’d like to see more of Marshay Green. His athleticism and toughness are great assets. The corners got burned a couple of times, but Hudgens threw some really good balls, and all along we knew the Memphis receivers would get theirs. Calhoun would probably be our best receiver. If Shay Hodge wasn’t such a badass.

That about does it for the postgame analysis, save for a few side notes:

Jumbotron. Good job, Pete. Also, I appreciate the ribbon boards much more than I did last year, especially when they bring to me good tidings of State going down in flames.

Parents. I know you love your children. Please understand that everyone else hates them. Don’t let your kids bring scooters to the Grove. They go from being mere nuisances to fearsome pre-pubescent projectiles of death for old people, cripples (like me!), and oblivious sorority girls everywhere. Cut. That. Shit. Out.

Officials. Offensive pass interference. Carlos Singleton is still pushing off on Dustin Mouzon. Call it.

Memphis fans. Has our teasing finally hurt your feelings? I saw fewer pairs of jorts than ever before. I saw nary a jort/mullet combo all day. And I was a little sad inside.

Rh0d3$t@rzorz (or however you spell it). You win the 'Best Drunk In My General Vicinity' award. Party on.

Wake Forest. Now that we have a method of getting Shay Hodge and Dexter McCluster the ball consistently (the ‘accurate forward pass method,’ specifically), you best watch it.

Until next time.