New Poll

The "what will our record be" poll has ended. If you're curious, 7-5 won with 35.6% of the vote. Hopefully our Rebels can live up to those expectations (and then some).

Now, our poll offers a question whose answer may not be so hopeful. With the injuries along our defensive line, we could have serious trouble putting pressure on opposing quarterbacks. The Florida game is when we're most likely to see a defensive line made up of nearly 100% healthy first teamers so the poll's question is "how many sacks will we put up before the Florida game." Answer and, if you deem it necessary, opine on this matter in our comments box.

Rebel Roundup

Hurricanes! It's always hurricanes! The Rebels, after having survived a record-setting three-year human tropical storm, now have their eyes firmly set on the Atlantic Ocean worrying about how Tropical Storm Hanna will effect their Saturday afternoon game against Wake Forest.

And on that note. David Brandt points out how difficult it will be to play in the rain against a team known for creating turnovers.

So what does Jim Grobe think? Well, here's what Jim Grobe thinks. The newspaper calls it "cautious optimism." But, when you've got Wake positioned as the top dog in a BCS conference, I'm thinking Jim is more optimistic than he is cautious. And for good reason.

What's the HTML command for "knocking on wood? The Bleacher Report says if anyone has a chance to make some noise this weekend it's Ole Miss. Why? The hurricane, stupid! Ole Miss has four or five big-time runners, while Wake Forest has a pass-heavy offense. Rain favors the running game.

Rain favors the running game?


Hallelujah, baby! Make it rain!

SEC Power Poll: Week 1

The full Power Poll should be up soon but, for right now, we'll fill all of you in on our ballot. As per usual, the completed poll can be viewed at Garnet and Black Attack or the new official website of the Power Poll.

Anyway, here they are, 1-12:

1. Florida - Wow, what a beatdown. Hawaii didn't even have a chance. The exixtence of Tebow and the injuries being endured by Georgia vault the Gators to the top spot.

2. Georgia - They had a comfortable enough lead to sit their starters... at halftime. What is this, the NFL preseason?

3. LSU - Neither Tiger quarterback was too impressive, but they weren't terrible. LSU's defense is pretty stellar, as per the usual. Although the QB question still lingers, it's hard to rank the Bayou Bengals any lower.

4. Auburn - Auburn's running the spread? Really? Well what kind of spread puts up 300+ rushing yards on anybody? While they handily defeated ULM, either Kodi Burns or Chris Todd needs to get a solid grasp on Tony Franklin's offense if Auburn expects to live up to preseason expectations.

5. Alabama - BAMA'S BACK MOTHERFUCKERS! No, not like last time, or the time before that, it's for REALS this time! RTR! (HT: Erik of DeepSouthSports) Ok, ok, defeating Clemson was impressive and what not, but this is fairly typical of both teams as of late. In the last few seasons, Bama has played some teams up and some teams down while Clemson has routinely faceplanted to ruin their hopeful season.

6. South Carolina - Whoopin' up on NCState isn't nearly as cool as one may think it is. Ellis Johnson is a helluva coach and their defense will be ready to play, but many SEC teams will not be forgiving to a 4 interception performance at quarterback.

7. Ole Miss - So that's what a competent offense looks like? Fantastic, I say! If we can continue to improve offensively we should have no trouble scoring on anybody. However, we gave up way too many yards against Memphis to rest on our laurels. Our defensive front needs to get healthy and our secondary needs to make a few more clutch plays during SEC play if we're to go bowling this winter.

8. Kentucky - On paper, a 27-2 defeat of a rival is pretty impressive. In reality though, Kentucky failed to impress many this weekend. They made some plays with their defense but their offense needs serious improvement.

9. Tennessee - The conference's best secondary allowed a 3rd string, Pac-10, JUCO transfter quarterback throw all over them during the second half. Tennessee certainly was outcoached by Nieuheüßellenbürg (I have no clue how to spell his name) and Chow, but I think they also outcoached themselves a little bit.

10. Vanderbilt - Being Vanderbilt hurts. Honestly, they're only lower than Tenn because of our expectations for the rest of the season. Chris Nickson could give folks fits this season as he ran the ball all over the place against Miami (OH).

11. Arkansas - I'm sure that all of this is somehow HDN's fault. Nevermind the fact that the playcalling was suspect or the fact that Western Illinois is enjoying their inaugural season in Division I because, dammit, "Hootie left the cupboard bare!" Right?

12. Mississippi State - Last season, LA Tech was shut out by the worst team in the SEC. We told you Croom was terrible, but none of you would listen. I hope you Bullpups have a grand time forking out large sums of money for an awful coach over the next few years. But, it's alright, you've got that character problem solved!


Whaddaya think?

Tuesday Question

Generally, we are the "authors" of "content" around here - "here" being a blog and not a message board. Recognize, we do, that you've come here not to contribute, but to consume. Nevertheless, there is the sporadic occasion where, either for our benefit or for to exercise the thinkifiers of the masses, we ask you a question. Today's question is ...

Can we/How do we/What if we don't put pressure on Riley Skinner?

Wake Forest has a good quarterback. His name is Riley Skinner, which, unfortunately, does not sound like the the Norse god of street cred, but does sound sufficiently like somebody who might be Avril Lavigne's sk8trboifriend.

Meanwhile, Ted Laurent and Jerrell Powe averaged half a tackle between the two of them, Peria Jerry will be all of about 21 days removed from surgery and probably have all the mobility Wilford Brimley on a Rascal even if he's back on the field, and Greg Hardy is still getting blazed and playing Xbox rehabilitating.

Skinner is more of a pocket presence than either Will Hudgens or Sir Arkelon Lord Hall the Planet-eater were. Perhaps, Kentrell Locket's speed will be more of an asset this weekend. We might not sack the quarterback, but we have to force Skinner to make some mistakes.

Discuss.

Rebel of the Week: Bowlin' Bolden

Alright, all corny names aside, Brandon Bolden showed the Rebel faithful what our future at tailback is going to look like. The kid's quick (but not a blazer), makes good decisions, never shies away from contact, and is harder than hell to bring down. Also, connecting with Jevan on that pass play was pretty damn cool.

All things considered, I'd say Brandon Bolden had the best week of any freshman in the SEC... Wait, what's that you say? You mean the SEC already said so! Well fantastic! Great work Brandon on winning the SEC Freshman of the Week and the coveted Red [REDACTED] Cup Rebel of the Week prize.

Congratulations!

Rebel of the Week, it's back y'all.

Pick 'Em Standings

After week 1, the top of our pool standings looks something like this:

Rank	Member	W-L	Pts
1	royrwhite	9-1	53
2	Hud	8-2	50
2	cwsreb	8-2	50
2	olemiss21	9-1	50
5	1826 N. Broad	8-2	48
5	twellis1	8-2	48

Congrats are in order for royrwhite for taking an early lead in the pool. As far as Red [REDACTED] Cup contributors go, Whiskey Wednesday is 11th, I'm 16th, One Man To Beat is 23rd, and Juco All-American is a pathetic 49th.

And OleMissHalitosis, I'm terribly sorry. Not only do you have horribly smelling breath, but you're also last in the pool as of right now.

However, to all, there is no need for worry or resting on your laurels because we've still got a whole lotta football left! If you haven't yet joined the pool but would still like to play then go ahead and visit FunOfficePools.com and look for the Red [REDACTED] Cup pool (I'm sure it's linked on the main page). The upcoming week's games should be available for picking sometime soon so get them in before the weekend starts.

One of These Things is Not Like the Other.

Question:

What do Alabama, Arkansas, Auburn, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana State, Ole Miss, South Carolina, Vanderbilt, and Tennessee (but, then again, maybe) all have in common?

Answer:

They are not the walrus.


I am the walrus.

Who Is this Guy? Riley Skinner

Efficiency is the name of the game for the man destined to be the greatest quarterback in the history of Wake Forest football - Riley Skinner.

Stop laughing.

Okay, laugh a little bit.  Heck, Skinner did:

"It's not too impressive of a record, I guess," said Skinner, who rifled a career-best three touchdown passes to lead the victory. "It feels nice. I just hope I can add onto it a little."

Nevertheless, a team like the 2008 edition of the Rebels cannot afford to overlook the "best in the history" of anything. So, Skinner's performance (27-36-220, 0 INT, 3 TD) against the admittedly pedestrian Baylor Bears is notable, if for no other reasons than Baylor can't be much worse than the hapless Tigers and Skinner's stat line reads better than Jevan Snead's traditionally ordered string of numbers (10-22-185, 0 INT, 2 TD). And, in fact, Skinner connected on 17 of his first 19.

If you're still laughing about the winningest quarterback in Wake Forest history, perhaps your revelry will subside with the knowledge that Skinner returns for his junior season after being the nation's most efficient quarterback in 2007 - 72 percent of his passes were completions.

Whoopity-doo, Basil, what's it all mean? The Rebels will be lucky if they get an interception off of this guy. But, the aggressive style of aerial defense employed against Memphis will hopefully force Jim Grobe to turn to his running game, which gained a respectable but deficient when compared to the Rebs' 156 yards against Baylor.

NEXT: Who Is this Guy? Alphonso Smith.

Post Scriptum: Clearly, I Google Imaged "Riley Skinner" to obtain the photo reproduced above. Google Imaging "Riley Skinner" is neither family-friendly nor safe for work. And while that link is SFW, I would follow the chain no further.

This is what you lost to

Good work, State.


A few observations:
-Ruston, Louisiana
-"Yea wassup whodi!" Whodi? Seriously? Master P was cool 10 damn years ago.
-Tiny stadium that's only half full for a nationally televised game.
-Ugly women
-College kids who look like they're 15.
-"Dey say we couldn't beat 'em! Dey say we couldn't beat 'em! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT!"

The LOLCat Offense

The Wildcat. The Wild Rebel. The McClusterfuck.

Whatever you call it, the new triple-option offense we ran every few downs on Saturday is exciting. It worked at Arkansas and it's looking like it will work here. Dexter McCluster is quick and elusive. Brandon Bolden is hard as hell to bring down. Jevan Snead doesn't suck ass. All of these factors combined make this offense truly dangerous.

A couple of weeks ago, Whiskey Wednesday and I were drunkenly babbling about football (an incredibly common occurrence, believe me) and came up with the 2nd best* name we've heard describe this offense yet: The LOLCat offense.

What is a LOLCat? Check it, lawya.

We derived this name from our (incorrect) theory that our version of the Wildcat would either be highly ineffective or fail miserably. This theory sprung from our personal tendencies to prefer a pro style offense and our team's lack of one Darren "Getter of dat Wood" McFadden, esq. Also, we're still a bit burnt by Brent Schaeffer's 5-star rating and have become hopelessly immune to optimism.

So, anyway, we were horribly wrong and we couldn't be more delighted about this fact. The offense worked well, netting us 14 yards per attempt out of the formation and two touchdowns. If Dexter McCluster and Brandon Bolden stay healthy for the remainder of the season, we should see a touchdown or so every game out of the LOLCat. I'm serious.

Oh, and as one would imagine, we've made our very own Dexter McCluster LOLCat. You may be seeing these every now and then until a cease and desist order is issued.


NOTE: Thanks to Danny Klimentz of the Associated Press for not yet sending us a nasty email for shamelessly lifting your photo.

*The best is, of course, the McClusterfuck. NAFOOM came up with that one first, Arkansas trolls.