I'm fairly certain that the end of the season Power Poll won't look too different than this ballot (or the results which will come your way noon-ish). Georgia/LSU, Ole Miss/South Carolina, and Vandy/Kentucky/Arkansas are all interchangeable within their respective "sections" of the poll but, other than that, we're all pretty certain how well or poorly this season will end up for each squad.
That is, until Bama gets a greasy deuce dropped on their forehead season by either LSU or Florida.
Rank
Team
Change
Comments
1
Alabama
---
Florida is closing in on the Crimson Tide. I'm curious though, why aren't they in the top spot? Hmmm... CHOMP CHOMP MOTHERFUCKERS!
2
Florida
+1
I watched the WLOCP at a bar packed to the hilt with Georgia fans. At halftime, I could have sworn I had stumbled into a suicide cult meeting.
3
LSU
+1
Beating Tulane isn't impressive enough to jump in the polls, alright? You're only here because Georgia shat the bed bigtime on Saturday.
4
Georgia
-2
Georgia will, on occasion, let their opponents score in bunches. This "gameplan" is perhaps the worst possible option against Florida.
5
South Carolina
---
Stephen Garcia, when not gettin' his swerve on, seems to be what South Carolina needs.
6
Ole Miss
---
The Rebels could very realistically win out, earning a 5-3 SEC record and a New Year's Day bowl berth... What? Seriously... stop laughing. I can only hope we don't look past ULM because, as Nick Saban can tell you, that would be a bad move.
7
Vanderbilt
---
If being an Ole Miss fan isn't miserable enough for you, you could always root for Vanderbilt! Who else has two seasons starting 4-0 and 5-0 end up at 5-7 (I'm callin' it) within a period of a few years?
8
Kentucky
---
Well, at least they're going bowling.
9
Arkansas
+2
Is a bowl berth possible for Petrino's Porcine Posse? It's certainly likely, but I wouldn't bet the farm on it because that FUCKING PIG DOG HOOTEN DALE DIDN'T RECRUIT WORTH A DAMN! WOOOOOOOO!
10
Auburn
-1
It's sad when your "wins" are a 3-2 "victory" over State and a 14-12 "victory" over Tennessee.
11
Tennessee
-1
The next couple of months should be interesting as we'll be able to discern just how attractive the head coaching job at Tennessee truly is.
12
Mississippi State
---
The Western Division Bulldogs look no better nine games into Sylvester Croom's fifth season than they did nine games into Herr Walrus' first season.
Over the last couple of weeks, we've gotten some kickass feedback. The two following sets of photos arrived in our inbox much to our delight. Enjoy.
First, a couple of self proclaimed "displaced Rebels" were responsible for the Ole Miss related signs at the ESPN College Gameday which was held on the Vanderbilt campus a month or so ago. Their email and photos follow.
Dear Red [REDACTED] Cup,
As you may be aware, Vanderbilt University recently had the privilege of hosting ESPN's College GameDay. Like any dedicated SEC football fans would do, we fought our way tenaciously to the front lines on that shockingly early Saturday morning (5:00 am). As you would expect, our friends carried witty signs against the opposition of the Auburn Tigers, such as "I got my G.E.D. at Auburn" and "My GPA > Auburn's PPG." Other signs, in a self-deprecating manner, made fun of Vanderbilt's propensity for studying, to wit the sign that read, "You People Are Blocking The Library." Though deeply proud to be Commodores, we took the opportunity to proudly informed the nation:
"Tim Tebow Wears Greg Hardy Pajamas."
And with our voices steady, we called "Jevan Snead for Heisman" and lamented how "Phil Fulmer Ate My Other Sign." Additionally, we announced JerrellPowe's Heisman candidacy and fearlessly observed that "Tommy Tuberville Has Big Ears."
- Two Displaced Rebels.
Dont_Forget_Patridge, another loyal reader of ours, observed this absolutely frightening Auburn fan in the Grove last weekend. If you thought Florida's jort epidemic was bad, then you ain't seen nothing yet. Speaking of Florida and Auburn, seeing this makes it pretty darned clear that the Original Bulldogs' rivalries have sprung out of the Georgian hatred of poorly thought out leg wear. Who knew? The best part about these pictures is that this WarPlainsGer seems to just be awkwardly and uninvitedly standing in someone's tent in the first photograph; almost as if he just walked up and said "War EAGLE can I have some chicken strips?" to no response. In the second photo, folks are talking to him but at quite a noticeable distance. Normally folks with really awful body odor have more intimate conversations than this fella is having with man-holding-bottled-water.
Daddy, why is the scary man eating our sausage-n-cheese balls?
Oh, bye week, you're so going down on Saturday. Peria's Legion, the Powe-Ped, and da Lil' Bastid have got it out for your blood. We're gonna stomp your ass so deep in a mud hole that you....
You know what, forget it.
I was going to try to talk shit to our upcoming opponent of nobody, but I can't muster up the energy. Furthermore, I really don't mind bye weeks all that much. While I'd certainly love to see Ole Miss on Saturday, I feel that this gives me an opportunity to let my hatred for LSU and those DAMNED ULMWARHAWKS fester to genocidal proportions. And, since Ole Miss can't possibly lose, I'll undoubtedly have a good time.
However, I will be facing a bit of a dilemma.
With regards to the LSU/Bama game, I haven't a clue as to who I should pull for. Barring the apocalypse or, at the very least, a huge sub-Baton Rouge sinkhole falling through, someone will leave Tiger Stadium victorious. While seeing LSU slip to 3rd in the West after we trounce them in a few weeks (you bet your ass I'm callin' it) would be sweeter 'n Grandma's coconut cake, watching Alabama's national title hopes geaux down the shitter would be just as wonderful.
What is a furtive bloggeur to do?
Eh, well, either way I'll be glued to a TV; something grilled in one hand, something potent in the other, and sporting a snide-ass grin on my face.
Remember, we're taking a week off from winning while State's taking a week off from losing. Refreshing, isn't it?
In this morning's Rebel Roundup, I referred to our Defensive Line as "Peria Jerry's Legion of Despair." To see what how I envision these kinds of things while I sit in my cubicle, click the below picture for biggification.... if you dare.
Steve Spurrier has been accused of lots of things during his almost 20 years in the Southeastern Conference. What he has rarely been accused of is graciousness to Phillip Fulmer or Tennessee. But for the man who put the U-T in Citrus, he viewed Fulmer's glass as remarkably half-full:
"Some people will say it's sad that he couldn't go out on his own terms but if you retire, you don't hit the lottery," Spurrier said. "You could say he hit the lottery after getting that contract extension. Now he gets the money and he doesn't have to go through any more crap, everybody after him."
No Masked Individuals Allowed in VHS? - So says The Ghost of Chucky Mullins. While Colonel Reb is most certainly not my mascot, I've always been alright with his attendance at sporting events as a common ticket holder. Last Saturday, a new "policy" kept him out of VHS. Was this a misunderstanding, or has the administration finally put the proverbial nail in the proverbial coffin?
Yet Another Moral Victory - According to the USA Today Sagarin rankings, the Ole Miss Rebels are the 30th best team in America and can boast having the 9th toughest schedule to date. If Vanderbilt and Wake had decided to not have late season collapses, I seriously imagine our strength of schedule rating would be in the top 5. Oh, and Mississippi State is 97th. Schadenfreude is fun, dammit.
For the Math Nerds - If you're a statistics dork like myself, you'll love SECSports.com's incredibly detailed statistics. While perusing the Week 11 Sunday Notebook, I found the following to be quite noteworthy:
The SEC currently holds a .816 non-conference record, the best in Division 1
The Air Force Academy has the 4th longest streak without being shutout. The last team to shut them out, you ask? Why, the Ole Miss Rebels in a 13-0 victory in the 1992 Liberty Bowl, of course.
Since 2000, the Ole Miss/Florida series has been the closest in the conference with the average margin of victory sitting at a mere 3.4 points.
Ole Miss leads the conference in tackles for a loss with 75 this season (8.33 per game). This is, of course, due to our truly dominant-run stoppers along our defensive front. As you saw during the Auburn game, Peria Jerry and his legion of despair have been ruining SEC halfbacks all season. Oh, they also made Tim Tebow cry which, no matter how many times I mention it, will never cease to amuse me.
And finally, from the "really?!" file comes this: Derek Peagues is the conference's all time leader in kickoff return yards. Of course, this has just as much to do with the fact that State's opponents kick off to them an awful lot as it does with Peague's athletic ability, but I still found it to be pretty noteworthy.
11:30 AM kickoff the day after Halloween? Ouch. Friday night ended at 4:00 AM for this devoted bloggeur, and 9:30 rolled around far too soon. JUCO and I had debated not attending the game, and instead watching on TV and taking game notes for my report (media passes were hard to come by this week, so no sideline tomfoolery…). Appropriately for this blog though, rabid fandom prevailed over any attempt at serious journalism, so we embarked on the long walk to the stadium, stopping at Abner’s on the way over to procure the best hangover cure known to man: french fries. Despite our decision not to take careful game notes, we made a conscious decision to pay more attention and play less grab-ass. Here is my set of (hopefully) insightful observations:
1. Jevan Snead looked about as groggy and out of it in the first half as I was. I really do wonder if we push him too hard early on in a game. From what I’ve seen, he is far more likely to put a pass in the dirt or hang one up in the air during the 1st quarter than the 2nd. His ability to compensate for blitzes is still lame. Maybe it is harder than I imagine to be able to audible successfully at the line after only a few months in a new offense. This, and other intelligence-related development by Snead, might determine whether or not we win the West before he leaves. A truly exceptional QB would have put us in Atlanta this year, despite our other faults. We know Snead can do it, let’s just hope he does.
2. Run blocking tenacity has improved. Significantly. Markuson seems to be slowly making his players want to completely dominate their men, and it has paid off the last two games when it counted. Cordera Eason is doing really well, but I love to see the freshmen get the rock. Enrique Davis needs to see the field more. I want him to see some payoff to his work in practice now so he doesn’t get frustrated and lazy.
3. This was a less than stellar game for the receivers, Shay Hodges’ badassness notwithstanding. A couple of times, I feel like they weren’t where Jevan expected them to be because they ran softer routes or didn’t finish them. Also, there wasn’t as much separation as Jevan is used to. He threw to some pretty well-covered guys because men weren’t getting open. I’m glad we’re seeing more receivers out there, but I can’t tell yet if they’re going to produce this year.
4. GERALD HARRIS CAUGHT A PASS!!! AND DIDN’T LOOK TERRIBLE!!!
5. For awhile there, I was less than enthused about the playcalling, specifically the passing routes. It’s possible that it was only the routes that Jevan was throwing to that were poor decisions, but there didn’t seem to be as many obvious check-down options available to him.
6. Dear Greg Hardy: if you aren’t careful, Kentrell Lockett might make us stop missing you out there. He was excellent on the pass and the run. Peria Jerry is playing better football than any tackle in the conference right now. No, he isn’t an absurd physical freak, he isn’t 375 pounds, and he doesn’t have a Cajun last name, but Jerry is our best player right now. Overall, we’re playing run defense like some of Brewer’s better teams. Now about those cornerbacks…
7. I was watching the first half of the game on DVR last night after dinner, and when the TV crew announced the names of our linebacking corps, they said something like, “they don’t have a star, they just run to the ball.” I’m ok with that. Palmer, Walker, and Trahan are all more than serviceable. None of them may get a chance to play on Sundays, but don’t count out any of the three. They are all plenty fast and like to hit. Nothin’ wrong with that. The Mike LB’s aren’t as solid, but I still like watching Fein’s scary-ass tattooed arms maul defenders (from the safety of my 18th row S. Endzone seat). Now about those cornerbacks…
8. What can you say? Defending a pass intended for a taller, stronger man in open space is one of the more simple-yet-difficult things to do in sports. It requires speed, great strength and body control, great vision and anticipation…And we don’t have anyone that is particularly good at it. Start recrootin’, Chris Vaughn…
9. Jamarca Sanford: I can’t decide whether I’ll miss him next year or not. Until I see him hit somebody. I love the contact in this game, and Jamarca Sanford is the only guy on our defense who can consistently get the F=MV2 equationto work in his favor. Kid can bring it.
10. Dex won the game. No doubt. I'd dogged him before, but he's fixed his fumble problem, and I don't think he'll lose the ball again all year. He has a vise grip on the rock, and he was stellar this weekend.
11. SEC replay officials completely disregard the part in the rules involving incontrovertible evidence. I'm glad I didn't have a media pass. I don't know what I'd have said if I'd been in that booth within earshot of the replay asshats.
Other miscellaneous gameday notes:
1. I like navy more than red. Keep it up, coach.
2. My new favorite Grove accessory: Deez Nuttz stickers, which were being handed out at a tent near the AlumniCenter. Clever.
3. Razor scooters. I hate them. Your child does not need transportation in the Grove. I’m dutifully trying to get my drink on in the AM, and these little bastards are whizzing all around my legs, making me slosh my purple drank around. Unacceptable.
4. Nice Jumbotron, Pete. Even getting better at using it.
5. I’m glad we didn’t collectively dress up like the Joker like half of Texas Tech’s fans did. Lame. Also: you wanna know what MSU and USM combined would look like? Well, they’re #2 in the country, and they’re in Lubbock. Gross. Crabtree should get some Heisman looks, though. That last play was skraight gangsta.
People were actually booing Jevan Snead during the early parts of the Auburn game. Yes, as unbelievable as that may sound, the greatest offensive producer the Rebels have had since Eli Manning was being booed because of his slow start.
We all saw that Jevan had a poor first half, but he did nothing to jeopardize a victory. He threw no interceptions and did a decent job of keeping the Auburn defense at bay. True, he did make some horrible throws and true, his receivers weren't helping very much but Jevan most certainly did nothing which would warrant him being booed by his home crowd.
If you booed Jevan Snead you're likely an idiot.
Here you'll see the SEC statistics leaders. Scroll down to the passing categories and take a look at Jevan's numbers as they stack up against other SEC quarterbacks. What? You're too lazy to do that? Well, fine, I snagged a screen capture.
Look. While Jevan isn't setting the world on fire, he's certainly far from horrible. Yeah, he and Casey Dick lead the conference in INTs (which has subsequently hurt his efficiency rating) but he is tied with Tim "Heisman" Tebow for the most TD tosses in conference. He's third in yards per game. Third! Jevan has secured his place as the third best quarterback in the conference with behind Stafford and Tebow who, without any doubt in my mind, have better lines, receivers, and coaches.
Yet, you asshats booed him. That's ok, though. He showed up after his rocky start, tossed his two touchdowns and left the field a winner.
Snead is young and has only had this season to really play football (as opposed to true juniors Stafford and Tebow) and has showed us that he'll keep our passing offense at a truly competitive level over the next three seasons. Give him the credit he deserves, especially when he's just having a slow start to an early-day game.
