Red [REDACTED] Cup Pick 'Em: Week 3 Sandings

Rank		W-L	Pts
1	twellis1's pricks	23-5	132
1	olemiss21's picks	24-4	132
3	OFacetoNuttin	21-7	131
4	whiskeywednesday's picks	23-5	129
4	michaelflowers's picks	24-4	129

Whiskey Wednesday, despite apparently not giving a shit about civil service, is holding his own among our incredibly smart and well versed reader base (OMG we <3 U!!!!1). Get your picks in! This week looks like it's shaping up to be a good one.

Live to Win!

Thanks to EDSBS, we're now able to bring you a "highlight" video of the Mississippi State Auburn matchup. Remember, highlight reels usually consist of big plays, game-changing hits, and something people call "touched downs" or whatever. Well, this video has none of the above. But, what it lacks in good football it makes up for with incomplete passes, missed field goals, and penalty flags. Observe and enjoy the comically appropriate tune to which this video is set.



Keep in mind, Auburn scored all five points in that game. As you can see, the safety was the result of an endzone holding call; State didn't earn those points. Auburn netted themselves a total of 1 point (don't get all "mathematician" on me and pull out some "absolute value" bullshit, alright?) and still managed to win. It's ok, you can laugh.

All joking aside, we Ole Miss Rebels should view last Saturday's debacle as a good sign for our possibilities in the SEC West this season. Neither State nor Auburn have displayed talented or well-called offenses. They're certainly both very talented on defense, but neither team is capable of holding us under three scores or so. Of course, we're not even 1/3 of the way through the regular season, but we've got the 2nd highest scoring offense in the West, while Auburn and Sate have the two lowest scoring offenses. Yes, as it stands now, our defense is a putrid last in the SEC West while Auburn's is a stellar first; but Saturday's game is not incredibly indicative of Mississippi State who is only 4th in the division. (Info from SECSports.com)

We knew State was beatable. Now, it seems, Auburn is certainly a winnable game.

Who Is This Guy? D.J. Moore

He is an All-SEC Cornerback, silly. And he plays for Vanderbilt.

But you knew that already, didn't you? We're in the SEC schedule. You all know the two-deep on both sides of the ball for every team, right? Right, well, nevertheless, just for consistency's sake, we should probably establish what makes Moore so special.

29 yards is one special thing - that's how many Moore is averaging on punt returns so far. So, if we (averaging 38.4 yards per punt) kick to Moore this Saturday, we're looking at statistics as bad as about 10 net punt yards when our offense is held. The 'Dores also use Moore in the sporadic offensive maneuver. He has two rushes for 37 yards and sees time at Wide Receiver. Of course, considering the fact that his quarterback has attempted about as many passes as Wes Carroll completes on a good day, Moore is unlikely to be a real threat as a wideout. His 206 all-purpose yards on 7 touches against Rice, though, was the difference between Vanderbilt looking competent-to-impressive against the Owls, rather than a likely wash-out.

Not to mention his two interceptions in Vanderbilt's shocking win over South Carolina. And he's not alone. Vanderbilt's defense has cobbled together 6 interceptions en route to respectability.

The long and the short is that Vanderbilt has a playmaker on offense that everyone worried Ole Miss fans are talking about. There's a playmaker on defense and special teams, though, that might make more of a difference on Saturday.

Women of the Opposition: Vanderbilt

We're back with a formidable task: making the women of our SEC opponents look rather unbecoming, fat and/or generally unattractive. 

This week we take on Vanderbilt, and while the women of this university are intelligent(see: not what men are interested in), they also have loads and loads of money(see: what people at Ole Miss are interested in).

These women must be taken with a grain of salt, because whilst unsavory, they could be heir to the Post-It note fortune.

We do give props to those Vandy women that are upholding the high standard for beauty in the SEC.

Just pick out one or two and don't wander too far to the right

It hurts me a little to write this as my cousin is a current student at Vanderbilt, and although my roots are Southern, I can't quite bring myself to rate her on a scale of one to ten nor put her on this philandering website for your consumption.

However, your input is more than welcome. Bring on your tales of Vanderbilt ugliness. 

SEC Power Poll: Week 3 Ballot

Rank	Team	Change	Comments
1	Florida	+1	The Gators are lucky UGA and SoCar was so close. I say bye weeks aren't good for national perception of Florida. Why? Because the epic myth of Tim Tebow somehow proves occasionally to be less impressive than the actual performance of Tim Tebow.
2	Georgia	-1	The South Carolina game was obviously dangerous. It seemed pre-game to represent the last gasp of a desperate man. Yet, Richt survived South Carolina and looks good to be 4-0 when he hosts Alabama.
3	LSU	+1	LSU is at our #3 spot by default. It's hard to rank anybody higher than the Bayou Bengals, but that doesn't mean the West is theirs.
4	Alabama	+1	Alabama does not deserve to be in the top ten, but don't tell that to a 'Bama fan (RTR! BaMa Is BaCk!!!!1). They'll cut greasy, bacony strips offa Petrino's back this Saturday, though. This matchup will determine who, out of JPW or Casey Dick, will e the biggest NFL wash-up.
5	Auburn	-2	Did Auburn not play like a team who owed money to the mob on Saturday? How many gift wrapped opportunities to win did they give the Bulldogs?
6	Vanderbilt	---	Solidly. Vanderbilt should have been ranked by the Associated Press today (SRSLY, Florida State?), and too bad, too. Everything that lives, moves, and breathes tells us that this ride cannot last.
7	Tennessee	+2	Tennessee killed UAB... But then UCLA spread their cheeks and took a 59-sized massive Mormon shot, placing an ominous orange stain on Phil's loss in Los Angeles.
8	Ole Miss	---	The Rebles didn't impress on Saturday, but they didn't go into the 4th quarter wondering if they were going to win or not (ahem). Next week's Vanderbilt matchup is, believe it or not, incredibly significant.
9	Kentucky	-2	Of all the bullets dodged Saturday, Rich Brooks dodged the biggest. A loss to Middle Tennessee State would have been the conference's second-most embarrassing of the season.
10	South Carolina	---	The Gamecocks put everything on the table for this game and came up short. Were I a Gamecock fan, I would be pretty broken and sour because the Georgia game didn't even feel like a "moral victory."
11	Arkansas	---	For Arkansas, it's a good thing Mississippi State Croomed itself against Auburn. And only imagine how solidly last Arkansas would be if the game against Texas hadn't been postponed.
12	Mississippi State	---	Saturday's 3-2 final in Starkville is a deceptive score. I say that because State's safety was awarded after an Auburn holding penalty in the endzone. Auburn literally gave State points. Ouch.

Comment and criticize, por favor.

SEC Power Poll: Roundtable

For week 3, the SEC Power Poll is conducting a roundtable Q&A session. The five questions asked to every participating blog along with our answers are below. The links to/answers of other blogs are here and the complete roundtable should be up by Wednesday or Thursday.

Also, the Power Poll Ballot will be up later today.



1. Pretend for a minute that Vanderbilt wasn't 2-0, then answer this question: What has been the most surprising thing in the SEC so far this season?

The most surprising thing in the SEC thus far this season is the fact that Auburn only beat Mississippi State by one point. I guess it's also surprising that the score was 3-2, but neither team has an offense. It's not surprising that Auburn won or that Mississippi state lost, but seriously... Auburn didn't beat MSU as badly as Louisiana Tech did.


2. Conference action has either just begun for most teams, or will Sept. 20. (The exception is Kentucky, which I believe plays I-AA teams until mid-November.) From what you've seen so far, how will your team fare in your division? If it's not going to win, which team will?

Honestly, who knows? Now that Alabama, Auburn, and LSU are in the top 10 while Arkansas and State continue to play horrible, horrible football it is easy to say that we'll finish 4th. However, Auburn and Alabama have shown significant weaknesses at times (something which AP voters continuously fail to notice) and are beatable. LSU isn't invincible, but they still look like contenders despite having an Ivy League transfer at the helm of the offense.


3. Which SEC player that few of us are paying attention to is poised to have a breakout season? Try to choose someone not on your team.

Jared Cook, TE, South Carolina. Now that Cornelius Ingram is out, it appears that Cook is poised to be the first-team all-SEC tight end. While we have been wholly unable to asses his blocking skills (because we don't care enough to watch Jared Cook's blocking ability) his receiving capabilities have been utilized extensively through the first three games. He truly is one of the conferences premier receiving threats.


4. Both Arkansas and LSU have had games delayed because of hurricanes. If you could choose a game on your team's current schedule to get postponed because of inclement weather, which game would you choose and why?

Could we go back in time and have Hannah postpone the Wake game? We played them so well but our inexperience got the best of us. To think that we actually threw a touchdown pass on fourth and 2 on the 3 only to give Wake Forest one minute to get into field goal range and win the game by two really reminds us that we are, in fact, Ole Miss.


5. So, the Large Haldron Collider hasn't destroyed the Earth -- so far, anyway. But had the world ended Wednesday morning, which SEC game would you have most regretted missing? Assuming, of course, you had been around to regret it. (Head...hurts...)

No question: The Cocktail Party. As things look now, the winner would have the most legitimate shot to lose to play USC in the BCS Championship game.

Patrick Willis' Pick Six

Patrick Willis owns you.



Patrick, I'm sorry O couldn't win you some more games.

Post-Game Report: Samford (seriously??)

A well distributed factoid around the Ole Miss camp this week was that the last time Samford played a BCS opponent, a mediocre Georgia Tech team with a soon-to-be unemployed coach hung 69 points on them. So we, being the good little sports god-fearing Ole Miss fans we are, optimistically hoped for a 50-spot on our side of the box score and a few passing attempts by Billy Tapp, as well as some kids from the Make-a-Wish Foundation getting late snaps at wide receiver (did I just make that joke? What is wrong with me?). Well, guess who scored the first touchdown of the game, to take a first quarter lead? That would be the Bulldogs of Samford. Guess who had to pass downfield to have a decent chance at a first down, because running up the middle garnered mixed results at best? That would be the Rebels of Ole Miss. What went wrong here? I've got an idea or three:

Jevan Snead: please tell me you got plastered and slept with four different sorority girls last night. Please? Honestly, the pass rush was in his face all night (and how embarrassing is that, Michael Oher and co.?), but Snead didn't do a great job of making checks at the line to adjust for blitzes. Hopefully, this was just a result of vanilla playcalling and lack of motivation. And seriously, Jevan, Lionel Breaux is STILL hung out to dry on that five-yard hook. Bring that shit down.

Running backs: Really? We have five backs on our team that would, in theory, start for Samford. None were impressive tonight. Eason hits the hole with all the tenacity and timing of a 16 year old in the back of his mom's borrowed minivan on prom night (last Dennis Miller-esque joke of the night, promise). Bolden appeared to be limited, and his primary vehicle, the Wild Rebel, was left in the garage. And as a note to all 5 backs: shoestring tackles need to be broken, folks. This is the SEC you're playing in.

Offensive line: as it stands, probably the most overrated unit in the SEC. 'Soft' would be a compliment, a goal to strive for, at this point. Almost 1600 pounds of bulk spread out amongst five men with over 100 starts between them in the SEC, and we can't beat down Samford's defensive line? Markuson isn't sleeping well right now, and neither is Michael Oher.

The offensive playcalling was extremely boring, and that shouldn't have mattered. Just execute. Execute against a team with less talent than the scout team that impersonated them all week.

Defense... Where do you start here? For most of the second half, Samford held a 5-minute advantage over UM in time of possession. Blame this on a defense that was unable to stay on assignment all night. Sure, we busted a few plays in the backfield, but where were the turnovers? There wasn't a play that seemed close to a Samford turnover. The desire to actually hit someone seemed a tertiary goal, at best. Houston Nutt can't be happy with Tyrone Nix, can he?

Special teams: glad to see Marshay take a punt to the house, and in impressive fashion. I still haven't decided if that makes up for the punt he should've taken back earlier. Let me set up this scenario for those who missed it: Green takes the punt, finds that his blockers have completely sealed off their slower, more Baptist counterparts, and the only thing between him and the endzone is a portly little fellow in white and a speedy blocker in blue. What happens? An awkward, three man collision, you say? Well, how did you guess? Seriously, folks, I'd have taken that punt back in my flip flops without losing my Aviators or getting my polo sweaty.

Enough with the detailed statistical analysis, though. What all this boils down to, scientifically, is that this game was a load of HORESESHIT! Defense, don't come waving your arms around trying to pump the fans up in the face of this all-male pillow fight. Entertain me. Hit someone so hard that they regret the day they first touched a football. And offense? This was supposed to be an All-You-Can-Score Buffet, and once again, I left hungry, and pissed off at my townie waiter. Did Nutt do this to the team on purpose, so he could yell at them all week in preparation for Vanderbilt? Did he take off all week to help his least-attractive daughter make a diorama of the solar system for school? Here I am, wracking my brain, thinking of ways NOT to score 40 against Samford, and I got nothin'.


On a brighter note:

Narrowly edging out rH0d3$+@r, a bow-tie-clad fratter named Vince gets the weekly 'Awesomest Drunk Guy in My General Vicinity' award. Thanks for your light-hearted yet caustic display of profanities; it made me want to gouge my eyes out a little bit less. Congrats, Vince, and thanks to all of those who played.

fUcK yOu oHiO sTaTe, and Fight On, USC. That is all. I'm really dying to see USC take on Florida or Mizzou in the BCS championship.

Dear MSU: I have to admit it. I don't trust you to lose games in the fashion to which we all became accustomed. You played a hell of a defensive game against Auburn, apparently, and I had to see the body to really believe you were dead. Still: HA HA HA... HA.

The Saturday Pre-Grove Report and Commentzorz

Law dog training has me down this morning. I'm tied to the old computer. I'm in ur lawyr bookz. Protektin ur ritez.

Meanwhile, I'm watching the mediocre Maryland Terps of the left-for-dead ACC treating UC-Berkley like my dog back home treated the clothes on the line that time before I never saw him again.

Nate Longshore must be just torn up about that damn tree.

Meanwhile, the score at the beginning of the 2nd quarter is 21-3 in favor of the Terps. Like any good SEC fan, I only root for the Golden Bears when they are derailing USC's national title hopes. So, here's to you Terrapins ... whatever that is.

Pre, during, or post-game comments on Ole Miss or others are welcome. A few starter points:

• Breaking fifty points is important for me today. Your thoughts? 
  
• The only SEC team Ohio State might be able to look forward to getting embarrassed by will be in the Citrus Bowl. 
  
• Notre Dame beats Michigan today and without rhyme or reason enters the Top 25.
  
• If Vanderbilt is 3-0 after today, they will be ranked for their visit to Oxford next weekend, and the rationale voters will use is a) pity for Bobby Johnson and b) and inexplicably close game between the defeated South Carolina Gamecocks and the glorious Georgia Knowshons.
  
• Auburn and Mississippi State gets ugly fast. Auburn tailbacks embarrass the Bulldog defensive front.
  

Who Is This Guy? Matt Malouf

My thunder has been stolen.

QB: Remember Matt Malouf? A quarterback from our very own Oxford High? We recruited him as a wide receiver, but he chose Memphis because they would let him play quarterback. Well, apparently he's not as good as Arkelon Hall. I'll let that sink in for a minute. Arkelon Hall. Anyway, Malouf transferred to Samford, where, of course, he would be able to start immediately.

Yeah, okay, so there really isn't that much to say about Matt Malouf. But, "not the starter" doesn't really accurately describe his playing time. Whatever his status might have been at the beginning of the year, Malouf took a significant number of his team's snaps (10-12-101 with no Touchdowns or interceptions) in the season opener, but saw limited action against Faulkner, who, as I've already noted, was a cupcake by Samford's standards.

Why Malouf only attempted 4 passes against the cupcake in Week 2 after completing 10 of 12 against a legitimate opponent in Week 1 is not within my purview.

Will hordes of Oxonians show up to support the home-town boy? No, probably not. Would I rather have Jevan Snead than Matt Malouf as my quarterback? Why, yes, I think so. Nevertheless, a team can make statements against FCS teams. Nine times out of ten, those statements are not positive. I'd like to make a positive, or at least, neutral statement tomorrow by paying attention to the offensive leaders of this team.

And by "paying attention," I obviously mean "making [them] look like grossly intoxicated senior citizens with vertigo and, perhaps, mild mental retardation."