Thursday, September 25, 2008

Internets Available in Arkansas; Accessed by Hog Fans part V (rational clarity edition!)

Spirit and Rivals posters go goo-goo and gah-gah over the Wild Rebel. They yammer on and on about how Coach Nutt invented it, Sugar Bowls, Gerald Pow, etc etc.

Arkansas fans disagree. According to them, Gus Malzhan invented the offense, thus making him the single most brilliant coordinator Arkansas has ever hired. In fact, Arkansas fans love Gus Malzhan so much that they're secretly pulling for Tulsa on November 1 (it'll just be one more thing to hold over HDN's head).

Well, according to The Slophouse, neither man "invented" anything, but rather put modern twists on a decades old offense. The Wildcat/Hog/Rebel/Dolphin/Raider/LadyVol is nothing more than a fancified single-wing offense with a triple-option.

"Wait a gosh-darn minute," you may say. "How can this Arkansas site be so certain that Malzhan didn't invent this offense?"

Well, here's what Malzhan himself had to say about his supposed invention:
Wait, please don’t make it sound, you know, like I ’invented’ anything... Football’s a game where you use ideas that you see. I’ve used everyone’s ideas. This isn’t about me at all. Please don’t make it sound that way.
Who's been saying this all along? This guy, right here.

Post Scriptum - By the way, I do know what Houston Nutt did invent: the LOLCat offense!

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Apparently everyone but Ole Miss can run it. Your freaking hillarious.

artiger said...

Just had to do it, didn't you Cutler. Had to poke Sasquatch with that stick. Piglets were relatively calm, now you're going to get another shitstorm. What, are you just trying to increase your traffic?

Bob said...

"Your freaking hillarious."

Of the three words in this sentence, you misspelled two. Simply stunning, I say.

And, artiger; I know, I know, I'm being an asshole. It's just that on my day's off I really can't find much else to do.

Anonymous said...

Here's some rain to go along with your wind Cutler. It is a fact that Gus Malzhan brought the Wildcat offense to Arkansas, being changed to the WildHog by Nutt and his new boy, David Lee, the following year. Nutt contiually refered to Gus as a high school coach, until his Bullshit finally ran Gus in a different direction, landing him in Tulsa. Nutt's offensive mind is inferior to this genious called Malzhan, so basically, it was jealousy and personnel interest that came out on top in the end. What followed was some of the top HS players in the country, that played for gus, transferring to USC. A mess only an idiot like Houston Nutt could orqestrate, not to mention he was texting to his mistress only a handful of minutes before the 2007 Capitol 1 game with Wisconsin. Lack of leadership, not to even mention integrity, landed ole Hootie in Rebel land. If he hadn't kissed AD Frank Broyles, and Chancellor White's ass as good as he did for 10 fucking years, he'd be coaching Div. II ball right now. Remember the golden handcuffs? What a joke! White, Broyles, and Nutt leaving the program, was the best thing that ever happened to our university. The "good 'ol boys club" stay was way over-due. Think it's nothing but pure coinsidence that these 3 goons all left within 6 months of one another? What I'm basically saying to you is Nutt is nothing more than a fraud. Remember the movie twins? There was Arnold S. playing the genetically gifted brother, and then there was Houston Nutt, who turned out to be the dillweed, that the best part of, leaked out the crack of his mammas ass. Good ridence! He couldn't have landed in a better place! GO HOGS GO BABY!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Do they not indent in Arkansas?

rightwingconspirator said...

Hey Gonzo,it's called a thesaurus.Get one.

Bob said...

Gonzohog,

Nothing of which you spoke addressed the issue at hand. The discussion is "did or didn't Malzahn invent the Wildcat." Not "why Arkansas fans hate Houston Nutt." Nothing you said in that paragraph was new information to us so, like always, we don't give a shit.

Anonymous said...

Alright, I've been studying this thing since I got to work, and I am more confused now then when I started (Brain.Hurts.), but lets give this a try:
Rationalizing the "Twins" analogy.

Either
a.) gonzo believes that Houston Nutt somehow snuck on to the set of "Twins" and like, put on a Danny DeVito outfit and fooled everyone in America into believing it was DeVito, even using his name in the credits (?) or
b.) he believes that Nutt has some real life maternal twin, who gonzo does not name, who is more physically attractive than is Nutt (?).

Further, gonzo, I have no idea how a life form can "leaked out the back of {sic} its mammas {sic} ass," but if it did, I would have to think that it would not be "the best part of (?) (something that is not named)".

If this was supposed to be analogy, gonzo, you have to fully flesh it out, see. You have to give like, who "Arnold S."'s real life counterpart is in relation to the Nutt/DeVito pairing that I think you were trying make. Then you have to tell how they were akin to the two characters from that movie. Keep practicing, friend.

Anonymous said...

This just in...

Bama has scored again.. Woo pig.

Anonymous said...

I should have known that would be way too hard for some of you to figure out. If anyone out there has ever been in the Marine Corp, then you probably heard, on a daily basis, in boot camp, "the best part of you slide out the crack of your mamma's ass"! If that need's anymore of an explination, in correlation to what kind of a man you have for your coach, then like I said, He couldn't have landed in a better place. As for your comment on wheather or not Malzhan invented the WildCat Cutler, Name one school, or pro team, that ran the WildCat before 2006, when D-Mac ran for 181 yds and 2 TDs,in a win over Tennessee, following that up with 182 yds and 1 TD, two weeks later against LSU, which happened to have the #1 defense in the country that year. David Lee was an assistant for the Dallas Cowboys that year, While Nutt was under fire from Hog fans to do something beside's run right, run left, run up the fuckin middle, punt. We watched this for two years before Malzahn turned it all around, but your won't here him say that, because he's a man of character, and really doesn't give a shit if Nuttball get's the credit or not. Go back and look at how they ran that formation in early '07, after Malzhan left, when Lee took over. The same players ran it, but were ineffective, compared to late '06, when Malzhan instilled his package. When the Hogs beat LSU in Baton Rouge late last year, they went right back (copied) to the same shot-gun formation from the year before, giving more options to D-Mac in the backfield. Pass, run, reverse, draw to Felix Jones,screen to Peyton Hillis, etc...) Don't think I know what I'm talking about, just because you think I have sour grapes? Ask me anything about what has happened in Razorback land the last 10 years. (Nuttball's tenure) I challenge you Cutler.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you can't be real gonzo. You misspell just about every other word. You misuse words hear/here, slid/slide, not to mention the constant poor grammar and sentences that really aren't even sentences.

Is English taught only as a foreign language in Arkansas?

You really are making this too easy. I really hope that you are a fictional character that someone created for fun.

HAWGS GONE WIN DA NASHUNAL CHAMPINSHIP!

Anonymous said...

I skipped both of Gonzo's posts and my brain thanks me.

Anonymous said...

http://nwanews.com/blogs/slophouse/2008/09/24/chronicling-the-wildcat

You’ve also got to give credit to former UA coach Houston Nutt, and former running backs coach Danny Nutt. The Hogs ran a variation of the formation with quarterback Clint Stoerner in 1998 and “reprised it” in 2004 with Matt Jones, according to ESPN.com’s Tim Graham. Lee, by the way, was the Hogs’ quarterbacks coach from 2001-2002.

The Red Cup Admin said...

I'm not at all saying Malzhan is a bad coach. I expect him to end up as an OC at a much bigger program very, very soon.

I'm just saying that Arkansas fans (99% of them, at least) are silly.

Anonymous said...

You might be wasting your time with these folks Yellow Tail, as I have. What does it tell you when thier listening to the mighty ESPN BS, over fans that's followed thier team for a lifetime? Drinking a lot of cool-aid down yonder in Rebel land these days.

Bob said...

Yellow Tail, I'm actually alright with you. You seem like a learned man who simply differs from us at the Cup in opinion and football allegiance. I don't agree with anything you say, but you're not terribly offensive and you take the time to fact and spellcheck.

Kudos to you sir. Keep posting.

Anonymous said...

Thanks professor, I'll go back to school and let a professional handle the dousing and striking. It only take's one of us to do that, since you basically said the same thing I did. The only difference is I'm not kissing thier ass. Keep posting.