Domi-ference (Part the Second)

This series seeks to settle objectively the question of whether man has a soul which conference, between the SEC and Big 12, can claim dominance over the other thus far in 2008. Part the Second compares the bottom-feeders of the two conferences in a segment I've named Clash of the Tenders. Those tenders are: Mississippi State, Tennessee, Arkansas, Iowa State, Texas A & M, and Baylor.

The question to be determined is what would a match-up be like between, say, Mississippi State, and all the members of the lower class of the Big 12 be like? Well, first of all, it would be totally boring, inconsequential, and uninteresting. Or, perhaps, we should ask which of these six teams would win a hypothetical conference made up only of these six teams. Of course, that would only tell us which of them would be the perennial favorite were that team to join the Big East, it would be a poor measure for deciding which conference is heavier at the bottom (not to be confused with bottom-heavy).

Let's, instead, focus on the particularly impressive and the particularly unimpressive. For example, Baylor's win over Washington State, who certainly would be included in this discussion were the Pac-10 part of our debate, was a 45-17 rout. But, Texas A & M dropped a decision to anonymous Sun Belt team. While, Arkansas tried to do the same against two Sun Belt teams, the SEC should be given credit for taking care of business. With a 3-2 ledger against non-BCS schools that play in Division I-A, the Big 12 trails the SEC's 3-1 record in that category (confining these records, of course, only to wins and losses by the losers here referenced).

Though, it should be noted that four of the six teams - Baylor, Mississippi State, Iowa State, and Arkansas - have played Division I-AA teams. The combined score for SEC teams (Miss. State and Arkansas against SE Louisiana and W. Illinois, respectively) was 62-34, while the Big 12 teams (Iowa State and Baylor) beat their opponents (South Dakota State and Northwestern State) 95-23.

The real saddlebag for the SEC is Arkansas. The real saddlebag for the Big 12 is Texas A & M. So, it's probably instructive for my totally objective decision that I feel pretty confident in the Aggies ability to beat the Hogs. Meanwhile, Tennessee, which should be the greatest among the least, does not inspire in me the confidence that they could handle Baylor, which has shown flashes of respectability. An important factor to note is that, despite the worst things you can say about the Big 12 teams, they have shown some ability to score points. Such kind words might be laid upon Arkansas, but certainly not Mississippi State or Tennessee. And there is nothing impressive about the Vol or Hog defenses.

The SEC may indeed be deep, but at the bottom of the ocean, COWBOY CONFERENCE seems to be the dominant species.

Is Greg Hardy out?

There are all kinds of rumors floating around concerning the status of Greg Hardy as an Ole Miss Rebel. We all know he is a major primadonna, but if the rumors of the team voting him off Survivor style are true then this has gotten way outta hand. Check out NAFOOM if you would like to read the thread concerning this.

We're likely not going to post something until it becomes made factually clear to us.

"What's that," you ask. "Integrity?"

No, not really. We're just lazy.

SEC Power Poll Week 6

It's up, with comments and everything, at Garnet and Black Attack. My oh my how wacky this season has been.

Are you ready? Yes, for a celebrity.

The pre-game/Allstate/Big Buck Sports/Newk's/Rebel Rags Hotty Toddy has been lacking of late. For the South Carolina game, they brought in Montgomery Gentry, which is a knock off Brooks 'n' Dunn. Vanderbilt was Jim Nantz, which I'm sure took one phone call due to media connections. Memphis had the Nutt, which is completely appropriate.

Oh I forgot Samford, and who wouldn't? It's Samford. They could've gotten Jessica Simpson's boobs to do the Hotty Toddy, and we still wouldn't have sold that damn place out.

With this in mind, it's time to realize that we may never have a big time celebrity come in and do the Hotty Toddy, so let's look at a few future prospects that would send me to the limits of my sanity.

1.) Frank Caliendo- Oh, I get it. You do impersonations to be funny. Very fresh idea, and while your Charles Barkley is amazing, I can't stand this guy. I hope he turns into the next Carrot Top....seriously, where the hell is that guy these days?

2.) Scott Stapp- Name doesn't ring a bell? The former lead singer for Creed? There's been plenty of hate on this guy, but if he ever does the Hotty Toddy, that's the day I hand in my Ole Miss fandom. He's the definition of a no-talent ass clown. The announcer at the Southland Greyhound park has more talent(you know, the guy that says, "here comes Rusty" on the homestretch).

3.) Gilbert Gottfried- Here's an asshole whose claim to fame is the fact that he's annoying. Plus, he tried to cheat Kelly, Zach and the gang out of their money when they were in Las Vegas. C'mon, you know you watched it.

The disappointing thing is that many Rebel fans would probably be excited to have any of these E-list celebrities. We've raised the standard for our team on the field, now it's time to raise the pre-game atmosphere to where it needs to be.

Basketball Schedule Update

There have been significant updates to the basketball schedule. Only six of our sixteen SEC games will not be televised. Our game against Kentucky will be nationally televised along with our out of conference game against Louisville. I'm so happy to see that our basketball team is going to get a chance to show themselves on a national stage. I'm sure Andy Kennedy is thrilled. He's not having any trouble recruiting anyway, but if he could beat a team like Louisville on national television, the sky is the limit.

Does anyone else think that this season is going to be special? I'm starting to think that we'll have a few more nationally televised games when the regular season is over.

Getcha' popcorn ready.

Domi-ference (Part the First)

The argument raging around the country is which conference has the legitimate claim to conference superiority - the Southeastern or Big 12?

In an effort to answer this question in a completely unbiased manner (as well as, with more speed than the Big Televen and a stronger defense than the Pac-10), I am going to attempt to answer the question definitively (yeah, right) in a four part series entitled (as noted above) DOMI-FERENCE - a very crude wombination of "dominance" and "conference."

Part the First will be foundational - classifying the conferences into three tiers. Parts the Second, Third, and Fourth will compare these tiers.

First, the foundational because seemingly legitimate factors like head-to-head would, obviously, be irrational this season with the only head-to-head matchup being between the high-flying Texas Longhorns and the putrid Arkansas Razorbacks. I doubt I would be giving away any suspence when I reveal, prematurely, that Arkansas will be classified in the Southeastern's "Third Tier," preliminarily labeled "Sylvester's Inferno."

Big Boys of the Big 12
I may need request parlay, as I (completely objectively) rank only Oklahoma, Missouri, and Texas among the Cowboy Conference's elite (excluding Captain Mike Leach's Texas Tech Raiders, to whom I make my plea that this is really more of a set of loose guidelines). Forgive me, fierce Lubbuccaneers , if I question your placement with the top-ranked Sooners, the Longhorns, who are showing at least something akin to defense with 11.4 points per game allowed, and a Missouri team that returns basically intact from its BCS Title Game near-miss. These three teams, all can confidently proclaim, are in the hunt for BCS glory, and these are the only three teams in the Big 12 who can stake such a claim.

Sovereigns of the Southeast
As with the Big 12, there are four teams in the SEC who might lay claim to being top dogs - only one of them isn't the Dawgs. After Georgia's humbling experience two weeks ago, the SEC seems to be left with only Alabama, Louisiana State, and barely Florida still thinking championship. The Tigers, who boast the conference's only consistently impressive offense, and The Tide, who boast the best resume in all of college football, are obvious. Why is Florida included in this discussion? While the Gators loss to Ole Miss seems less respectable, it revealed less troubling defects for their team as a whole. Georgia proved to be very suspect along both lines. Florida lost because of turnovers. Butterfingers can be fixed with coaching; Offensive lines cannot.

The Middle of the Middle of the Country
So, Texas Tech, obviously, Kanas, Colorado, KentuckyOklahoma State, Kansas State, and Nebraska make up the Big 12's Raycom Team. It's obviously bigger than the First Team, but it's the closest thing to a strong break, even though Texas Tech will likely beat Nebraska every day and twice on Sundays. These are teams with, either, very identifiable flaws, a mediocre record, or both.

The ordinary class of the Old Confederacy
Don't go picking bones with me Georgia. You either, Vanderbilt. The 'Dores and Dogs know that they have real flaws, namely, a couple of Stay-Pufts up front in Athens and the worst offense in a league of classicly poor offenses up there in Nashville. Kentucky, Auburn, and South Carolina are clear from record and performance. The only real question is whether Ole Miss should be the least of the mediocre or the masters of the low. But, call it homerism, I think Ole Miss is, at worst, the small fish in this pond.

Hard Times
Well, there are only three left in each conference. Baylor, Texas A & M, and Iowa State. State has only wins over only South Dakota State and Kent State; Baylor whomped Northwestern State and Washington State before falling to Connecticut and (unimpressively) Oklahoma; and Texas A & M lost to a Sun Belt Conference school. That'll earned you instant doormat cred.

Meanwhile, for those of us in Dixie, it's fairly easy to note the poor performances of Mississippi State and Arkansas, but this season seems destined to out-smudge and scuff Tennessee's 2006 losing season for least lustrous of the Fulmer era.

So, there you are, a pretty fair grouping of the teams. Tune in for Part the Second: Clash of the Tenders!

RT(V)R!!1!

We gone be on tee bee!

I cannot say I find a great deal of ration in Columia's choice. They're passing over Vanderbilt at Georgia, LSU at South Carolina, and the Crooming of Phil Fulmer for this little twist in Tuscaloosa. Still, should be a good game. The last three meetings have been wire-to-wire thrillers. With a little cooperation by Colt McCoy, 'Bama might be the top-ranked team in the country. Plus, our frustrations aside, da Rebbahs are a pretty fun team to watch. And, no offense to Vanderbilt, Tennessee/State, or (every weekend but last) South Carolina, but Tuscaloosa looks like the place for fireworks in Week 8.

Now, let's hope that, for the Tide, they're daytime fireworks.

Milestones

I don't know how these site-counters work (though, I feel confident someone out there will be so kind as to advise me), but I can read. And I see that, apparently, some combination of 100,000 viewers (maybe just ten people ten thousand time each, who knows?) have stopped by our little joint.

That's like, almost as many people went to watch Tennessee almost get embarrassed by Northern Illinois.

Or, to put it in brighter terms, more than three times as many people as watched the ACC Championship game last year.

100,000 cocktails go out to you, internets. May you continue bringing beleaguered Rebel fans, Rebel friends, respected adversaries, and Arkansas fans to our humble home.

SEC PowerPoll Roundtable II

Hey Jenny Slater, the blog your mother warned you about, is hosting the second SEC Power Poll roundtable. Some questions were posted and our answers are below. Enjoy.


1. What's your prediction for the matchup in the SEC championship game, and has that changed at all from what you were predicting in the preseason?

It hurts my heart to type this, but I see the SEC Championship game being between LSU vs. UGA with an LSU victory. Les Miles is a good coach. We Rebels have been trying to rationalize the idea that he isn’t such for quite a while but this season has completely put that to bed. The fact that he’s able to toss-out LSU’s most highly-touted quarterback ever and still put together the conference’s best offense says a lot about his abilities. I mean, who would have thought that a freshman + a transfer from Harvard = an undefeated quarterback corps down in Baton Rouge? Les Miles, that’s who.

In the preseason, I was thinking Auburn would represent the West…. Oops. I’m sure everyone thought the winner of the Cocktail Party would represent the East and that still seems to be the case. That is, until Vanderbilt takes a colossal, septic tank-busting dump on one of those two teams’ seasons.


2. Knowing what you now know about your team, how have your expectations for this season changed? What would constitute a successful season in your eyes, and what would be a disappointment?

It’s funny that you ask this, because after the first six weeks my expectations have changed a lot but are currently no different than they were at the beginning of the season.

Allow me to clarify. Early on, I, along with a lot of Rebel fans, were saying something along the lines of 5-7 wins. Most were saying 6 with fewer saying 5 or 7 and even fewer saying 4 or 8. We figured we would win the games we were supposed to (3), win a couple of in conference tossups (2-3), and sneak up on somebody for an upset (1). Well, we’ve already beaten two of the “supposed-to’s” in Memphis and Samford and we cashed in our upset against the Gators. Now it’s just a matter of winning a few in conference. It seems that we could beat Auburn, Arkansas, or State and I imagine we’ll take two out of three. Toss in a victory over the Warhawks of ULM and our early prediction of six comes true.

However, during the process of our preseason predictions in terms of “# of wins” going as planned, we got the typical Ole Miss cocktease. We beat Memphis like a prison bitch and we played Wake close at Wake Forest. “Wow, this quarterback is good and our offense can really put up points,” we thought. “We could pull out 7 or 8 this season! Egads!”

Samford and Vandy brought us down to earth again. “Eesh, what happened to Jevan? Our secondary is horrible. Et cetera.”

But lo! A victory against the Gators in the Swamp! “Yes, we’ve turned this around! 7, 8, 9 wins! Cotton Bowl! Yippee!”

Then comes the South Carolina game and, by now, you’ve surely gotten the picture.

For us Rebels, a successful season would just be a bowl berth. We haven’t had one of those in five years. A disappointment would be anything short of that.

3. If your team has Vanderbilt coming up at some point on its schedule, are you worried? If not, which team should be the most worried?

Well, we weren't worried, if that counts for something. Honestly, this Vanderbilt team is simply stunning. They weren't the better of any of the SEC teams they've faced so far (The 'Cocks, the Rebs, the 'Gers) as far as talent or coaching prowess (key word) is concerned yet, somehow, they're winning. They're not doing it in convincing fashion either but, as any Ole Miss fan can tell you, a win is a win, no matter how sloppily you come by it. This Vandy team is like that asshole in cycling races who drafts the leader the whole fucking time waiting for fatigue to kick in or some sort of accident to happen along the final stretch, giving him that golden opportunity to overtake the leader with a few hundred meters remaining and thrust their arms skyward in victory. Vandy is gonna win more games with this "cycling victory ruse" tactic, and God bless 'em for it.

Who should be worried is Tennessee. Hell, you know they already are. The crowning jewel of this Vanderbilt season isn't going to be any sort of bowl victory, but rather being the last team Phillip Fulmer will ever lose to as a Tennessee Volunteer. This may end up being the greatest moment in the history of Vanderbilt athletics. I’m serious.

It’s gonna hurt, Tennessee. Trust me, I’m an Ole Miss fan. I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of another school’s shining athletic moment. You know, that shining moment that they play on highlight clips every. single. fucking. March!? Bryce Drew’s game winning 3 lifting a 13-seed Valparaiso over the 4-seed Rebels? Gah, it burns like horrible, horrible acid reflux and you’re gonna feel it^3 when your dweeb-ass rivals march off of the field victorious to the tune of foghorns


4. Other than perhaps Alabama's season-opening win over Clemson, the SEC doesn't really have any marquee non-conference wins thus far, and a couple of traditional powers (Auburn and Tennessee) are struggling in high-profile fashion. Is it too early to call this a "down year" for the conference?

It is too early to call this a "down year" or "up year" for anybody. Conference play has only begun and the next few weeks will give us true indicators of how good each conference really is. Having that been said, it's hard to argue that the SEC is better than the Big XII right now. If I were to rank the three best teams from each conference and then match up the number 1’s, 2’s and 3’s, I imagine it would look something like this:

1. Oklahoma vs. LSU – OU wins 6 out of 10
   
2. Mizzou vs. Alabama – Mizzou wins 6 to 7 out of 10
   
3. Texas vs. UGA – Push…. with a slight advantage to Texas.

Heresy, I know, but I doubt you’d be hard-pressed to find many who disagree at this point in the season. Before USC shat the bed against the Beavers, I was saying the better between OU and Mizzou would play the Trojans for the BCS title game. Now, I’m thinking LSU/Bama vs. OU/Mizzou.

Fall Ball Notes

I am swamped with mid-terms so this is going to be to the point.

I sat down for lunch the other day with one of the members of the baseball team and we started talking about fall ball. Here are a few things I found interesting:

-Scott Bittle (The Bittler) probably will not be in the starting rotation this season. Look for him to continue his role as the closer.

-It appears we may have three left handers for the weekend rotation. Pom is one of them for sure. I was also told that Kyle Barbeck, a freshman from Blue Springs, MO, is "filthy" and will start too.

-He did not give me the name of the third lefty but I am assuming Baker or Buk. Probably not Baker though, as he described him as "not all there."

-Logan Power and Jordan Henry will be returning to their respective spots, but we have to find a replacement for MG6. Matt Smith may be that guy. Apparently he has been playing some outfield this fall and could see some playing time in left field. If they decide one of the Snyders is not ready to take over first base then expect Jeremy Travis and Michael Hubbard to fight for the final outfield spot. He did not mention any of the JUCO guys we signed.

-Speaking of the Snyders, they have been killing the ball in practice but the coaches do not think they are ready from a defensive standpoint.

-Cliff Vaughn's name was also mentioned as a replacement at first if Smith goes to left field. He has been loving the short field at OHS and his home run numbers should be a bit skewed. (I am 80 percent sure it was Cliff he said this about)

-Shortstop is going to be Evan Button.

-Taylor Hightower has been playing well enough to where he does not think he is going to be redshirted. He's been great defensively and is coming around hitting the ball. He does not think the coaching staff will redshirt him because he will be the starter next season and they do not want to start someone without any game time experience starting next season. I am not sure where this puts Henson.

-Basham is "hitting the cover off the ball." He is trying to improve his draft stock and has made big strides offensively.

That is basically all I can remember.